7 NORMAL U.S. AMERICAN HABITS TO AVOID IN FRANCE: PART 2

Thanks to MyHeritage for partnering with me for this video.

Let's get into even more very normal American social habits that you’ll want to avoid in France. I did a Part 1 but I’m back with even more commonplace and widespread US social habits that just aren’t done in France. They aren’t a part of French culture and might even leave you or the French person confused, or even embarrassed or angry. So with that, let’s jump right into Part 2 of American social norms that aren't done in France.

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Salut! I'm Diane, an American who has lived in France since 2012 and the creator of the blog/YouTube channel Oui In France. My channel's focus is "Everyday French life and beyond." I make videos on French culture topics, France vs. US culture comparisons, food, travel, language, and give you my thoughts about what it's like living in France as an American in the Loire Valley. Thanks for being here and if you enjoy this sort of thing, please share with friends and subscribe!

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[leslikuyweski]

I was in France last week. I found your videos very helpful. I'd been told the French are not very friendly but I didn't find this true at all. I had a wonderful trip!!

[helenlevens]

I have just moved back to the UK after living France for 8 and a half years. I've only been back about 6 weeks, but I miss not saying "hello" (bonjour) to people. I actually can't believe how much i miss it!! It's such a lovely and respectful thing and makes you feel better, both saying it to someone and having them say it back. 😊

[evelyngrammar]

I have spent a career training people NOT to use the compliment sandwich. Over time, the employee doesn't hear the positive, only the prelude to the negative they know that will follow. Separate moments of praise and constructive criticism.

[jmb]

I read an article that said the reason Americans smile so much is because we are such a melange of people with different languages and customs, so smiling shows the person whom you might not be able to communicate with that you mean them no harm.

[GirlWhoPlayedGo]

You're so right about criticism at school. Things are slowly evolving but people my age (late 30s) often share humiliating experiences given by the teachers from when they were kids. I have respect for teachers, but there is space for improvement here.

[ParlonsAstronomie]

About eating burger/pizza with hands in France it mostly depends on the context.
Most people eat the with hands in fast food, on the go or for informal meal with your friends or family.
We eat it with forks in classic restaurants and for formal family meal.

[Jessica_P_Fields]

I was in Paris last week and will be in Lyon in a couple of days.

I totally ate a vegan burger in Paris with my hands! I didn't really think about it potentially being rude, but it was a pretty casual place and no one seemed to care. 😊

I was actually a little surprised by how much small talk happened to me this time while I was in Paris. It was definitely "small" compared to the way it goes in the US, but I ended up in multiple conversations with people (usually staff at places I went) about where I'm from and what I'm doing. All initiated by them, not me! It was very pleasant. The last time I was in Paris, that didn't really happen. Maybe I had a better vibe, maybe they're practicing for the 2024 Olympics, maybe both, maybe neither! Either way, it was nice.

[lgempet]

Totally fine if the French have no qualms about sharing their criticism of others as long as they don’t mind having it handed-back to them & receiving it in return. The old adage, “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, ” applies here.

[robscovell]

In England I've heard it called a bollock sandwich. Give someone a bollocking but softened by the "compliment sandwich".

[singingcat]

For the eating with your hands one, I would say it depends on the context & who you are eating with. If you’re at home with your parents and siblings, obviously you can chill out and eat burgers with your hands. But in a restaurant, with mere acquaintances/colleagues, it’s true that eating burger with your hands is considered kind of gross. Pizza is more chill I’d say. The custom would be to just ask the people around you "are you all right with me eating with my hands ?", generally they’ll say yes and then you can do it without fear of offending someone lmao.
For saying grace, it actually exists in France too, it’s called the bénédicité. It’s true that almost nobody says it anymore, it’s disappeared since the 60s-70s maybe, but very traditional Christian families still say it, and scouts as well. Though to hear one in France you’d probably just have to go to a monastery yes. It’s not common at all

[walkingstick]

How did the US go from 10%, then 12% 15%, !8% and now, when I went to a medium level breakfast/brunch place, they had payment pads that started out at as the first option 20%. It's getting ridiculous in the US. Also, there are constant "opportunities" to donate at every electronic payment exchange at so many stores. We need to stop all this nonsense.

[dev]

Of the many YT channels to which I subscribe, yours is one of my favorites. Your delivery is so real that I feel as though you are gently pulling me into the corner and saying "dev, you may want to do/not do this".

I find the French in small towns much more friendly and chatty than in large cities (e.g Paris). I generally travel off season so they are happy to see a tourist and they have time to chat. They are stunned why an American would visit their small town/shop. Since they don't meet many Americans, they want to talk. However, with their limited English and my limited French, I don't know how much information is shared but the "conversation" will frequently end with a hearty handshake, a smile, and a free jar of jam, baked good, or similar.

I grew up in a family that said a prayer before supper in the 60s and 70s but stopped by the 80s which was radical where I lived in rural southern VA. I only know a few people who still pray before meals now.

A huge thank you for the My Heritage link. I lost my Mother 1 yr ago today. I have several of her childhood photos that I will animate. Very excited about it. (I know my family history relatively well, some ancestors came to VA in 1620s and we still in the same area).

[paestum]

Love your videos Diane. My parents are European (Northern Italian) and so we were the weird ones in the US. Like when my neighbors called child protection services when my mom served a dandelion salad in the early 1980s claiming (no joke) that my mom was feeding us weeds. As for adjusting in France it was quite easy for me (aside from the occasional grumpiness that one encounters in Paris lest I digress).
That said there are two things I refuse to do... I won't eat a hamburger with a fork and knife. Flat out no. And if the French ever tell me how to eat pizza, well, I will promptly be very direct in my response... no sandwiching there- désolé but it ain't happening! LOL

[sandrad]

I wish our tipping culture here in the US was like in France. It is so out of control. I knew about eating pizza with a fork, but not a hamburger; I consider the hamburger the same as a sandwich and sandwiches are usually eaten with one's hands. Regarding saying "how are you" I get somewhat irritated when I'm at the doctor's office because I'm ill and the doctor's nurse who greets me in the waiting room always says "how are you" and I usually answer, "other than being sick, I'm fine." 🙁

[testman]

7:40 Actually, in France it is fine to eat with your bare hand : bread, fries, sandwitches (yeah including those from Hamburg ), most sea shells and even Pizza. The pizza case is a special one. Because normaly on fancy restaurant you don't eat with bare hands such a messy food. But if it is a real fancy pizza restaurant they must be Italians or Italia fans so they know the real deal : pizze are a thing you enjoy with bare hands 🎉 Thanks Diane for your video🥂

[christopherdieudonne]

There's a theory that says that the reason why Americans smile more than other people around the work is because The USA was truly a nation of immigration, with people coming there from all over the world. And because not everyone speaks everyone's language, Americans used smiling as a way to communicate and show friendliness when you can't communicate verbally with another person.

[JDabc]

Hi Diane. I confess that sometimes I will bonjour followed by ca vas with a gentle smile. Sometimes the recipient will reply “ oui, ca vas”.
Im a fork and knife user too but I don’t order pizza or burgers ever in France. My preference is to eat locally even though burgers and pizza seem to be everywhere. The couple of times I had pizza, I didn’t like it very much. No complaints made about it, i just ate it as served.
I never say grace demonstrably. My expression of gratitude is something personal and internal to me.
I have had friendly conversations with French diners in Paris cafes and followed their vibes about if I should continue. Usually they have been receptive and interested in me asking questions about where I live or how I learned to speak my very basic French.
Many French speakers will ask me for directions or to a specific street especially in Paris. I try but if I don’t understand or know, my response is “dessolée je suis touriste”.

[hubertinepankhurst]

Great video! I do agree with you about the sandwiching criticism, or sugar coating, it is definitely not a thing in France. People learn to grow a thick skin, and it is not such a bad thing. If you try to sugar coat things too much with French people, they can get mad at you and thing you are mocking them. It is best to be clear and precise with them, if you do it precisely, they will get the message that you respect them. If you sugar coat, they will think you are implying they are foolish enough to believe the sugar coating.

[mattmullenix]

If the entire transaction takes place at the cash register, where you pick up your bag of food, don't tip. Any time you do tip, don't tip on tax. Tip on the subtotal and add the tax.

[michellebrooks]

Hi Diane. I agree with the tipping here in the US, it’s insane. When I ordered food for a pick up, I was asked to leave a tip! For ordering pizza and I picked it up- crazy.