DO THIS to stop ruminating about the narcissist

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

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Love this 🙏 3 years free. My tip is music. When your energy shifts badly into the repeated arguments in your head, endless justifications of why this was horrific, , take control and change the energy, put on some music, the radio, play some music, sing!!! Even if you can’t. Music is fantastic for healing. Love and light from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

carolynfea
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After a 42-year marriage I walked away from my narcissistic spouse. I ruminated for TWO years. So hats off to the readers here: don’t give up. My decision was to LEARN new things: how to sail, work in animal shelters, volunteer to get tax training to assist low income families, learning how to make mosaic tabletops. New learning brings purpose, new connections. You CAN do this. Good luck to all.

lesliemontagne
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Constantly, unwillingly thinking about what happened to you is a classic symptom of PTSD.

rde
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I’m pretty sure we ruminate because we need our experiences to make sense. Twelve years of ruminating later I can finally say I do not ruminate any more. I understand what happened. Amongst other reasons thanks to this channel. Thank you dr. Ramani!

ellie
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I am 2 months into no contact. What has helped me is a very simple yet profound point: I was ruminating trying to make sense of something that will never make sense. When I truly accepted that I wasn't dealing with a normal and sensible person, the ruminating started to subside. I still think about the person and what I would say to them, but I am no longer trying to understand what happened or why they were the way they were. It gave me a level of peace I was looking for.

Lederius
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For me, I've discovered that ruminating is a way to suppress my feelings. So I've decided to use my rumination as a trigger to say "I'm feeling hurt right now" or "I'm grieving right now" and then really try to sit with the feeling. It's helped a lot!

meowmirrr
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One thing that has worked really well for me is making a voice recording when I am wanting to really rant and rave about some rumination . I ruminate into the recording and then I listen back to it and it’s fascinating to me how much empathy I feel for myself, and listening to myself. It’s almost like it’s a missing Link… might not be right for everyone but it sure is a great tool for me. Thank you for your work.!!

AvaGrail
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What impacted me was finally realising “I didn’t do anything wrong to cause their behaviour”

Left-is-right-
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Yeah, The rumination is similar to PTSD. It's constantly scenario running to figure out how to stop the abuse from reoccurring. It's a survival technique if the person is still in your life. if they aren't you will be left with the fear that others will be similar or the Narcissist will return.

RjWolf
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My wife has heard my rumination rants a thousand times and she still listens and doesn't complain.

thatguymcflizzy
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I do Thought Interruption. If I’m ruminating I stop 🛑 and insert a phrase like, “How does this help or serve me ?” I’ll say this phrase over and over again until it breaks the trigger or ruminating thoughts. Or I’ll insert a prayer 🙏. This is what helps me.

glizta
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I have a close friend who allowed me to ruminate about my ex-husband after he left me. I would catch myself repeatedly going down that path and not really listening to her and supporting her. I finally apologized for monopolizing our time together and explained that going over my anger/hurt/frustration with a safe person was very much like taking a Brillo pad and scrubbing the cruddy layers of pain out of my soul. I valued her friendship so much that I worked to heal almost as much for her as for me. And now I'm here for her.

carolynchristy
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My 2 tips: 1-talk it out alone. This is something I've been making a point to do, regularly. Carve out time alone at home, in the car, or both and I just talk to myself, and respond to myself the way I would respond to someone I care about, saying these things. It helps me to get my head clear, work through whatever is causing the thought loop, and free my mind.
2- Write it out. Writing really helps calm down the brain.

HeatherColemanYoga
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The fact you have over 1 million subscribers shows how serious and rampant this abuse is.. :(.. thank you for helping those who have endured this scenario make sense of what we experienced.

upclosesneakers
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“Sometimes you just have to keep playing it out until you break the cycle” wow that was very powerful

MJay
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Rumination has a purpose -to make sense of it all - how I didn’t see it, everything that he did that he minimized, turned around to be the victim and devalued me at the end. My brain is working to understand it, make sense of my feelings and thoughts that are rejected. Questioning myself then through thinking I am able to reaffirm what is right. It’s exhausting.

jmcfarlin
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My biggest thing is, reminding myself that I am responsible for my thoughts and feelings. That in this moment, she is not making me feel this way. It is me. And only me. And the petty aspect, I tell myself, don't give her the satisfaction of allowing myself to feel like shit.

discopotato
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I ruminate because it reminds me how terrible the relationship was and how justified the divorce was. Ruminating keeps me from returning to that relationship.

kjesevans
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As someone who doesn't have friends I can visit in person, Dr R has been an indispensable voice for my inner talks 🤭

artifundio
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Ruminating makes me nuts. I've gotten to the point that the minute any thought of him, what he said or did pops into my head I say out loud NO! I refuse to think about it! and I immediately delve into something else. So far it has helped.

remarkable