How to STOP Ruminating After Narcissistic Abuse?

Here is the link to all my best resources:

[tarey]

"Rumination is a trauma response" Yes! Ur advice as to how to become unstuck from this anxious state is very powerful, and valuable, as it's not something that can be managed intuitively. I find that some hidden trauma can lie dormant for years then crop up when I least expect it. Many thanks for these healing words, Danish!

[nejneta]

I got out of a 27 year relationship with a narc a few months ago. You will never get closure from the narc. You have to give yourself closure.

[rosariccardo]

I used to feel so bad about ruminating. I used to think it meant I was dysfunctional or lacking in backbone and spirit. It took me a very long time to realise that it is a natural reaction to narc abuse. I only realised this once I started following channels like yours.

[WinterWarlock]

I was stuck with the narcissist for 43 years faced with trauma over and over and over again. Since then, 8 years of freedom now. Do I still ruminate? Unfortunately, yes. But with 43 years of it, I know it is going to take a while to get through. I think it is getting better, though.

I'm also learning not to waste my time talking about it with people who do not understand narcissistic abuse. And talking with THEM about it IS a waste of my time and effort. They won't understand it, and never will. Eventually, they won't care either.

I also have learned to avoid ANYBODY that is HIGH CONFLICT because not only will they not care, but they will INTENTIONALLY go OUT OF THEIR WAY to make it worse for you, gaslight you, blame you, and do everything possible to cause MORE conflict and drama for THEIR amusement.

[shaddeen.]

Rumination has been debilitating me for years! I feel like I froze in time! Finally, some sense is kicked into me, I am trying to pick up pieces and moving forward! I pray and wish for everyone who is in pain and suffering to heal and become fully functioning individuals and be happy and at peace! Thank you, Danish!

[Rockinride]

I am so happy to hear that I am not alone in the battle of narcissistic abuse, I’ve had it all my life, from my father, brother and husband I thought I was crazy with all the thoughts, THANK YOU!

[princess_sapphire]

Yes, yes I am here even after no contact for 12 months, I go over and over the same stuff to try and make sense of it, still get triggered by simple every day stuff, its on my mind and I cant get it out.
Thank you Danish for these tips to try and lessen the impact of these thoughts.

[pattif]

Thank you. I had a narcissistic mother. I ruminated over things she said for 30 years since I had left home. What a horrible, nightmarish experience! I really felt crazy.

[pocahontas]

This is why I don’t like talking about my divorce. Once someone asks me and I start talking about it, then it takes days for me to get the flashbacks out of my head. Aside from that the ruminating is me trying to understand WHY he did the things he did and ruminating has actually helped me figure that out, which also helps me know what to watch out for in future relationships. Also talking to other people and hearing their feedback on what it sounds like happened also opens my eyes a lot to things I didn’t realize but that they pick up on when I tell them specifics of what I went through.

[shahrokh]

Growing up with a parent who has the trio of dark personality traits you end up attracting a lot of similar people into your life at first as you have been conditioned into being a giver. But you learn to cope with things like constant lying, arrogance, uncooperativeness, over competitiveness, blame and manipulation. On the upside you learn to recognize psychopathic behavior in others by their eyes, tone of voice, and even their act of being charming and agreeable. It all becomes okay after a while. The amount of damage psychopaths do to society is a problem not even the prophets could solve. It's best to just ignore the abusers as much as possible once you've figured them out.
What never feels okay is when the narcissist takes advantage of a vulnerable loved one and keeps them under their control and at their mercy. That is not okay and very hurtful and confusing.

[m.pellicier]

I used to ruminate quite a bit. In the past, after leaving narc abuser husband, I ruminated about the FEW good things and feelings I had. But that kept the trauma bond going and I couldn't break free. Someone suggested that I ruminate about the terrible/horrible things he did and how I felt. It worked! It took time, but it helped me slowly break completely free. Now I ruminate very little, but my ruminating thoughts go straight to the bad things he used to do to me. In due time, I will stop ruminating about my narcissistic marriage altogether. I am getting stronger and stronger about NO CONTACT.

[kirabarsmith]

Even after learning the mind of the narc and why they're so demonic, I still ruminate, but it doesn't feel negative, feels like my brain is healing from the trauma and just processing what happened.

[ClandestineGirlX]

Danish, I literally cried tears of relief listening to this video. I needed this today. I can't thank you enough. You are a blessing. A million thanks from New York City ❤️

[popmonika]

I can remember feeling like my inner self had been shattered into a million jigsaw pieces and my thoughts were flying everywhere.

Even after I worked out what was happening to me- it took time for me to mentally fix myself.

Even a year later - even with other people now knowing who this person is- I still find myself constantly reminiscing about this person - thinking about what/why they behave(d) the way they do.

I don't think it's about that person but how I can avoid... But there are times I wonder if I can help this person - I think that's the toughest part - learning to accept there's nothing I can do - and to adapt and accept that.

[KrystalJesslynGarciaCo.]

A lot of people have no guidance. Thanks for this video!

[Freeminder-tjus]

I think I’m lucky that I have made 2 friends two years ago on social media. We initially talked about Covid, but then a few months ago, I was discarded by my covert narc husband after 22 years. I talked to them and found out they both had a relationship with a narc respectively before, I think they’re sent to me by God!! They both validated my feelings and knew exactly what happened to me. 😭😭😭

[capntar]

Though i never suffered physical abuse, confronting the original attachment trauma as an adult meant realizing my body had been in survival mode since childhood...there was an intense and overpowering level of somatic pain that had me laid up in bed for days: my entire right side had been in extreme pain for years but my body's survival defense mechanisms had somehow hid this from my conscious awareness. I thought I was going crazy due to my brain's constant hamster wheeling, rumination, constant overthinking the same thoughts etc etc...talking out loud fruitlessly to nobody. Facing the pain in the body was so intensely painful--shaky, shallow breathing, muscle spasms, popping sensations in the joints, etc--no wonder I had so much fear about allowing myself to face the pain.

[flightydancer]

I ended up feeling like I'm the worst person in this world, unable to cope with the aftermath. It takes a lot of effort to detox the experience. Thanks to nice people like you, I was able to process the experience and move forward. Cute cat you have there!

[jillhudgins]

Thank you for the advice of releasing the trauma. I have been out of the relationship 26 years, but still have thoughts. Even the counselors I saw before splitting didn’t give your great advice and wisdom! You are helping many people!

[brigittaspelthuis]

confirming the whole process, my experience completely explained step by step. Very professionell advise. I wished I had more support from my therapist for 2 years ago after my discard after 16 years . She thought just move on. I need also a time of grieve, a time of healing my post trauma disorder, the last process was my body. I carried it in me with me, and my body told me too that is was psychosomatic. After cranio sacral work balance therapy, it solved slowly . It took 2 years, You tube videos helped me, therapist are still not well informed in Europe about narcissistic abuse. In you tube there are a few Chanels like yours where you find some answers what happens and what is happening afterwards. Thank you so much . Great short compact serious videos.