How to stop the rumination of narcissistic abuse after no contact.

Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...

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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:

Narcissistic abuse looks like:

Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.

Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:

Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.

Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.

Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.

Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.

Get Help:

Establish No Contact or Low Contact:

Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:

Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:

Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:

Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:

Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.

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[monicarai]

The healing is more painful than the abuse itself on some level.

[-iu]

It is a form of PTSD. I know I can easily be triggered if I witness other people being treated like shit by narcs. I get angry and relive my own experiences in my mind.

[finchman]

Kevin, I’m glad that you’re bringing up how our nervous system remains stuck in a sympathetic response, which is the “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn” survival mode. We need to work with our bodies to get into a parasympathetic or non-survival mode once we are no longer in contact or under the influence of the narc. This does take time, so be patient and gentle with yourself.

[marrlena]

I'm the sole survivor of four children brought up by two narcissists/psychopaths. The rumination caused my siblings demise. It almost killed me too. When your entire childhood is warped by people who you trust it's a tragedy beyond compare. The memories are seemingly endless. I found my peace through intense spiritual work with meditations, no contact and reprogramming with various teachers through books and videos. I see the programming in humanity now. It goes deep and narcissistic abuse is systemic, not just in personal relationships. Thus it's a lifetime journey. Hope this helps.

[StephanieLeva]

The exhaustion, the brain fog, and your brain naturally is looking for a reason for all this. It's a long process.

[TheRealMonnie]

Having the anxiety after going no contact can make you feel like you're the problem. Makes you second guess yourself. But that's just a result of all of the gaslighting. Be aware of that.

[maryam-rxhu]

I think the more and longer period of time we have been under those monsters controlling pressure, the more time we need for healing.
I used to getting up about 4 or 5 am with heart beating so fast and fear .I was miserable inside .
Getting information and seeing people who had the same experience and really understand what I am saying caused me to feel so much better . Being in contact with these channels makes a huge difference in our health and healing.
Thank you so much Kevin 🙏🙏🙏🙏💗

[wagendorf]

I healed after no contact and felt so liberated. I do not miss him at all, for I know how fake it was. Be happy you are out!

[limitedtime]

When you first get safe distance from abuse, and you end up falling apart in a new way, that is so my experience.

[staciehulm]

I think it helps not to punish yourself when you ruminate. That’s your mind still trying to make sense of the non-sensical reality that was your dealings with the narcissist. It’s a backhanded gift they give you that sticks around long after the narc is gone. My experience with a narc took 17 years to get over. Now, I’m thankful that whenever I start to ruminate, I can hop on YouTube and listen to Kevin or Narc Survivor or even Sam Vaknin and have my mind put straight. It helps to know that I can put a label on what happened to me: narcissistic abuse is a killer, but when you “take each thought captive” like God tells us to do, and when you renew your mind with truth, the abuse can be transformed into some extremely valuable life lessons that allow you to have a better future. ❤️ Be kind and have patience with yourself... it makes the healing journey a lot easier and more meaningful.

[marihunt]

This is exactly what I’m going through right now. I keep thinking about the things he did to me, the things he said to me, the mind games, the lies. I’m also beating myself up for staying with him for so long.

[justme_lo]

THIS!!!! Its been almost 3 years and my ruminating has just now lessened. I did the final discard. I chose to stay NC. I was thrilled to leave. My body is just starting to heal. I have a long way to go. You have such honest invaluable insight. Thank you ❤

[NcHammer]

This is spot on. Not only am I ruminating, I have been experiencing physical pain. The only time I get relief is when I’m sleeping. The pain feels like electric shocks coursing through my body and muscle tension to the point where I cannot move. It’s been like this for eight months and I feel like I am in hell.

[lancelavoie]

It made sense to me, I went through it, and it takes years to heal, learn to love yourself, because you always put yourself last for so long

[mickyj]

So true Kevin. As I’m listening to the video, I had to admit that I was beating myself up on not acknowledging the red flags 🚩 and trying to help fix them, when they can’t be fixed.. it did a number on my self confidence, more than I realized 😔.. I’m holding on to God, I’m trusting that He will carry me through, better days must come!!

[cshula]

I'm crushed by all of the above you that mentioned but I am MOST crushed for losing the love I thought I had. I really never even had it. So painful after 10 years.I'm devastated but at the same time I glad I don't have to listen to accusations, lies, insults, physically attacking me, and watching him playing mind games with me. The nicer and more forgiving I was the meaner he got. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[jeaniekelly]

and suddenly just like that you switch the light on you discover your inner warrior and snatch your power back x

[webbtherapy]

Clever discussion. I pray each morning that My Father can purge me. It has been years of prayer for me get healthy enough to release the toxins and pain stored in my cells, heart, and mind. Thank you, God.

[melm]

That was so helpful. I thought i had gone mad, it is just like ptsd where i kept watching narratives play out in my mind. Conversations weve had, conversations we will never have. I have spent so much time in the last year with him in my head, even in my dreams, i often forget that we have even broken up. Hes still here like a hologram, ready to interrupt my thoughts whenever. Its so exhausting and i was hating on myself for it. Im just relieved to know it happens to other people. It really sucks!

[sleeperno]

I ruminated about six months after I reconciled with my wife and kids and we got away from my in-laws. Still ruminate, but not as bad. Kevin is dead on from my experience. Therapy is essential. Mine centered around receiving validation that it happened. They did it on purpose and I did not deserve it.