How to Negotiate: NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE by Chris Voss | Core Message

Animated core message from Chris Voss's book 'Never Split the Difference.'

[artvandalay]

I tried this technique with my landlord and now HE IS PAYING ME to live in his apartment building. Thanks!

[philiphall]

My father always told me during negotiations never let their problems become your problems

[belkenator]

I would argue that most landlords who request additional rent are fully prepared to have the current tenant walk and is often a tactic to get tenants out in the first place.

[mannion]

"That chocolate bar will be 89 cent please."
"It seems your very passionate about chocolate, but how am I supposed to do that when I've only got 40 cent?" Me, a 28 year old

[Simpletivity]

This book has been my favorite read of the year so far. In part, because of I've put many of the suggestions into practice and seen immediate results. Thanks so much for creating this summary!

[GrowWithSupreet]

Excellent video - thank you for summarizing so well! "Being heard" is one of the greatest human needs, and by fulfilling that, every difficult conversation - not just negotiation - becomes a bit easier.

[amglpamglp]

"This appartment costs is more than I earn. How am I supposed to pay?"
"You're not. You're supposed to be in an appartment you can afford and I'm supposed to get the fair value for my appartment."

[BackpackersCompass]

Honestly I'm so Happy I found this channel, it's exactly what I was looking for. I love reading those books, and your summaries are on point. You got another subscriber

[IsChrisHere]

The other students have read all the cutting edge negotiation literature, but have not come across this use of empathy? I don't buy it.

[jshanker]

Here's how the conversation between Chris Voss and the students went:
Chris: I understand studying in Harvard is difficult.
Student: *That's right*
Chris: Give me all your money.
Student: Here it is.

[_annoyed]

"hmm.. how about you work a bit overtime or get a second job? Or yeah, go ahead and rent that cheaper appartment nearby, because I've got six parties interested in the appartment for 1500. Glad that is not a problem for you."

I'm willing to bet that is pretty much how things go 9 out of 10 cases, emphasizing or not...

[jonathanscelebratelife]

Empathy plays a huge role in any relationship irrespective of negotiations. As a student and family counselor, I had heard 1000's hour their problems. Once they feel that they are heard, they start thinking and few sessions later they are more open to change. And the change comes from within.
Also in negotiations, the more we listen and understand, we are basically building the relationship

[craigslistrro]

Tactical empathy: the ability to tell the other party to go to hell, in such a way that they look forward to the trip.... But then, you don't take into account that the other party has the power to walk away.... Rule # 1. NEVER enter into negotiations without the power of walking away.

[RickValasek]

I read the book and your example is right-on-target to convey Chris's message. I've tried out several of his suggestions and "yes" they really help you negotiate from a power base. It's all about listening and applying the basic principles that Chris outlines in his book/experiences.

[pcprinciple]

3:37 "you seem very passionate about treating your patients" - possibly the most generic thing a salesperson could say to a Doctor. Next week in things that didn't happen...

[csantos]

I think that you have the idea spot on, and you are almost there with the application. There is just a little analysis missing of it which I think a lot of people overlook. It is really important to not sound like you're trying to get them to come to you. Appealing to their empathy means making them feel like you aren't trying to make them do something, and also really really really not making their offer seem undervalued. You touched on those, but in your examples you went the opposite way, especially in the case of the apartment. Bringing up the other apartments in the area like that is a good way to make them feel like their pride is being attacked even if you are using the words "I understand" beforehand. I think a better application of this is to say something like, "I think that your property is definitely valuable, and especially with you as the owner. It sounds like you want to find an amount that both you and a tenant can agree is representative of that. My current income is $XXXX, and that means that I have $XXXX available. How can we work together to make sure you are generating profit on this apartment and I am able to afford it? ... My concern is that the local renter's market is $XXXX lower than the cost of renting this apartment. I know you and I know that working with you is part of why you might valuate this apartment at a higher price than an equivalent local apartment. However, perspective new tenants are not going to have the history with you that we have, and so they won't consider that in the price. I'm concerned that this apartment will be vacant for a month at which point, not only would you be losing more rent money than a year of the cost between what I can afford and what you are offering, but you will also be paying utilities in the interim only adding to the cost of having this vacant. I would like to help you avoid that the best I can, and I know you would like to avoid that as well. How can we find a solution to this problem?" Always make him feel like you see the same non-monetary value in his product without talking about what you think it is worth and what your options are. That's more of bullying someone into bending and they will see that.

[demofactory]

I completely disagree with the "Never split the difference" tactic. Negotiation is a balance between gain and loss. If you have a minimum or maximum price in mind for yourself. Don't share that information. That is YOUR reference point. You negotiate from a place that is halfway between your "buffered/adjusted" reference point and the minimum or maximum set by the other negotiator. That way, you can sacrifice a few dollars, and still remain solidly in line with your target price, while also letting the other negotiator feel like they've gained something. This also promotes trust between buyers and sellers. If you hard line your first sale, you risk losing future/repeat sales later on. Never splitting the difference would only be an option with people you never plan to see again. It cripples a negotiation with apathy and frustration, since no one wants to budge. These students need to spend more time in pawn shops, and less time at Harvard for real world experience. This book also doesn't account for the different relationships with cold contacts and pre-qualified customers. Treating all your sales like a hostage negotiation makes no sense.

[ndintelligentWorld]

This sort of came intuitively to me and it's just about communication, not just negotiation. One of the most useful skills anyone can have

[evangelostzimopoulos]

Great video with top tips summarised so nicely. I had come across this book before and seen some of Chris' videos which are amazing but I'm sold with the video, love it!

[breadbaconcheese]

i bet chris voss told the student that if they pay with all their money, chris will share his secrets in real life negotiations based on his extensive experience as fbi negotiator. not just some textbook techniques. when they paid, then chris says, i just showed you.