Attachment Injuries, Codependency, and Love Addiction

Hello. Thanks for checking out my YouTube channel.

In my videos, I like to talk about Psychology, Healing Attachment Trauma, Relationship Repair, Inner Child Self-Re-Parenting, Love Addiction, Codependency, Grieving Break Ups, Family Programming, Fantasy Relationships, The Romantic Narrative, Primal Panic, Trauma Bonding, Double-Binds, Attachment Styles, Couples Counseling, Better Boundaries, Shame and Self-love, CPTSD Breakthroughs, Emotional Availability, and Body-Focused Psychotherapy for Healing Trauma..

☑️ Heal Your Relationships = #relationships
☑️ Trust Your Intuition = #selfcare
☑️ Repair w/ Counseling = #psychology

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Alan Robarge, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Attachment-Focused, Trauma-Informed,
Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator

Emotional Connections Matter!

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Attachment Injuries, Codependency, and Love Addiction

In this video, I talk about the link between attachment injuries and codependency. The development of the self is compromised when coming from a family system where the child does not feel fully seen, known, heard, and understood.

Questions to answer in the comments section:
What is one thing you learned from listening to this video?
What is one takeaway you can apply to your personal healing process?

Remember to leave a comment. What is your takeaway from this video?

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☑️ Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz:

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Attachment Injuries, Codependency, and Love Addiction

[AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hello Subscribers:

Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing.

One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating.

Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning!

As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on YouTube. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through.

I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly.

That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on YouTube. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos.


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Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses.

Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships.

The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met.

While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response.


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I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives.

When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work.

You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive.


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Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution.


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Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos.

And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!”

Best regards,


Alan Robarge
Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist

[mtngirlbunny]

is it!!! Finally....an answer to my wreckage!!! Thank you so much!

[tads]

My parents had a saying, `children were meant to be seen, not heard`. Enough said.

[vaiciciaku]

Theres a lot of information about attachment trauma, but I rarely see it formulated in such a practical and easy to understand way. Thank you!

[timkroeger]

thank you for this video. my wife sent this to me. our nearly 20 year marriage is collapsing due to my being emotionally unavailable, oblivious and drunk for most of it. I have been sober for two years now and really have only just begun to deal with all the issues that I was drinking for most of my life to escape. I want to change. I want to be a better husband and father even if my wife can never love me again. I just always seem to get it wrong. even as I type this message I feel im doing the wrong thing. I know I have hurt my wife over and over but I really want to break this cycle. when I called her to talk about this video, I just made it worse. I am lost and for some reason don't know how to put my own feelings aside and think of hers. I am seeing a therapist and hope to save my marriage. I will not give up and you have helped me at least begin to sort this out.  thank you.

[Yelena]

Thank you. This was so helpful and gave so much clarity. And yes, incredibly painful. I cried so hard I thought my heart wouldn't be able to stand it. Watching your videos helped me see how much grief I am actually holding inside. Thank you so much for the work that you do and for sharing this information via Youtube, so that anyone could have access to it. This is much needed.

[FollowingJesus]

This is brilliant. your really healing me with this knowledge

[ehmmyorellano]

my heart melts upon hearing this....it reminds me of my childhood....until i became adult....

[annborn]

Someone who has done the work. Went through the healing path & can explain it to help the rest of us. The best gift you can give anyone. Thank you❤️❤️

[taradavis]

This makes me so sad. Not just for myself but for my son, I did exactly the same as my own parents. My heartbreaks for my adult child the more I learn about my own trauma.

[paulaokane]

Hi Alan, I am so impressed with the way you articulate these concepts with such in-depth and insight. You are helping me making sense of how childhood trauma has overshadowed my adult relationships. :-( I am working the 12 steps programme in Coda, & more than happy to suggest your videos to others Namaste Px

[FineFeatheredHomestead]

Thank you! This is a frustrating thing to really grasp, and you explained it in a way I could take notes on and track really well. Fortunately I married a highly attuned guy, but now I see my resistance to his interest and valuing me has been a recurring theme over 23 years. It clearly is due to inner child grief that I feel incapable of receiving that healthy interest, and due to coping without it that I believe it is not necessary - which mystifies him. Following the rage is also interesting because I fear it, like it will control me and make me a monster if I try and reckon with it. But this is valuable to remember that feelings pass, and they often mask important things we need to grieve and grow from, and then release.

[charlierae]

I did his 8 week course. I highly recommend it. Changed my relationship habits for the better! Thank you Alan!

[HarmonousHappenings]

So yeah you just told the story of my life!!! I'm grieving immensely but I'm healing!!! I've actually found myself and I love myself!!! Life is beautiful now!!!

[mengbixia]

Alan, I want to thank you for bring so many awesome videos to the world. I am working on my attatchment issues when I came across your channel. I been watching them like non-stop. keep it up!!! You are gonna help a lot of people around the world!! Again, thank you so much!!

[oambitiousone]

Your careful and thorough description is much more helpful and insightful than the irl therapist I was seeing who tried to convey the same.

You’re doing Gods work

[mr.anindyabanerjee]

Codependency- A byproduct of Early Attachment Injuries.... Very well explained sir.

[travaltino]

I feel codependency with everyone not just partner. I mean I walk down the street and think what she things about me, what he feels, do they will not accept my negative emotions ? how I look ? Madnees😁 Feels like extreme attachment trauma.

[staceymiracolo]

This is brilliant. I have suspected an attachment issue for quite some time

[Autumnpilar]

Brilliant! I’m working to be aware and intentional with how I engage with my 7 yr old.