Why Your ASD Spouse Feels Confused and Unsafe in the Relationship

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[mikewizoski]

He broke up with me, I am very sad but I think it’s a blessing I think getting Married to him would have been more suffering for me

[stephencolligan]

As a side issue, as an nt male with a as female partner, I’m not convinced she knows how love feels. She told me that she did love me but subsequent action did not back up the words.
I feel love for her as a physical sensation that is in me whether we’re getting along or not.Whereas I feel with her it’s just something she THINKS she’s feeling when we’re getting along well, but can be shut down in the blink of an eye, if something goes wrong.
Appears extremely superficial and false, perhaps she’s just mimicking me ? Very disorientating and something that makes me very vulnerable when my emotions are so strong for her.

[whoiamhowilive]

There's the key.. honest with himself... Admitting to himself he is confused and anxious... that's never going to happen because he blames all his problems on somebody else.. and he doesn't understand feelings.. that's the alexithymia... So if nothing originates with him... Nothing has to do with him.. it's everyone else.. it's a closed unit. He walked up to a stranger at a concert and put his trash under their chair, the chairs they brought.. and then called them an asshole for getting upset. Nothing is ever his fault. If he's upset and you are around.. it's your fault. How do you get help for a problem you don't have? ... Oh that's right.. you don't. Where's the hope in this?

[deborahspencer]

I couldn't imagine life without my aspie friend but then, I'm an aspie too. It still requires dedication, consideration, respect and acceptance. It makes life complete. Thank you Mark for your dedication to us and for your understanding. You help us feel valued. We have a lot of wonderful qualities if people would just accept us as we are. We aren't trying to irritate, just trying to live happily if possible with the cards we have been dealt. I appreciate the help you give us through your videos.

[freedomofspeech]

I heard adding comments increases popularity of channels so keep up the great advice

[whatisahandle]

👍

emotional disregulation + poor social awareness & comprehension
-> guilt or fear from bad blowups + anxiety from mis-reads & mis-statements & mis-understandings of others
-> shyness + emotional suppression
-> insufficient practice on social interactions + poor handling & self-awareness of emotions
-> [cycle continues…]

[elthgar]

For me, it helped when I learned to think of emotions as sensors (or senses like sight/smell/etc..) and that they are signals for us (for either good or bad). it still takes me a long time to work back to what I'm feeling (because I see how I react and then work backwords) but it helps to actually value them when seen through that light. I couldn't find the name of the book that gave me the insight (it was by a Bible Translator talking about the negative emotions in Psalms).

[ADORABEL]

Not my problem anymore thank God. Blocked and deleted.
When your out it’s when you realize the horrible (unintended) abuse you’ve experienced

[elephantchang]

Not just in my relationship the whole nt dominated world is confusing and feels unsafe.

[sylviajones]

Brilliant. Mark how long have you been a fly on my wall? (In Australia ) You are spot on. Thanks so much for your insights

[initiatorhater]

i believe its not unusual, not uncommon for a lot of males on the spectrum, to be late bloomers in dating/relationships, not get into their first relationship until late in life

[confusedwhynot]

Honestly I'm not sure if my husband has ASD or if he has NPD. There is no medical history of Austism in his family. His parents were neglectful and abusive in his childhood.

[alinebaruchi]

I'm not married, my sister is
Wrong sister
Wrong sister

[andgate]

Why do i have a "condition " if i have no someone who has no logic