Does your partner have secret social media accounts? — Susan Winter

Oscar writes, “Good Day. Susan, I’m 40 and having issues with my relationship. I’ve come to find out that the woman I’ve been with for 8 years has been having some secret accounts on FB for her to chat with men (even my small brother). So now everything is a mess. She tells me that she wants to move out. I told her fine. But she’s still in the house. I want to move on with my life.”

Or, call me on Magnifi: (on demand) by-the-minute coaching

Join my social media family!

[elizabethharmon]

Sadly, This is tearing up so many relationships now. Social media is making cheating too tempting and easy for those inclined to cheat. Ruined my marriage. Be careful!

[ImLeuff]

Zero tolerance. It's mainly a trust issue. Trust your partners until they betray that trust. Once they do, it is nearly impossible to rebuild it. And all of the gargantuan effort needed for such a task should come from the one who betrayed the trust, not you. Your task is to take care of yourself and move on.
Of course apply everything Susan says too. If it is a long relationship, ask questions and try to work things out but don't take on the burden of fixing what you didn't break.

[daviedood]

And people say couples with JOINT social media accounts are stupid and weird... There's actually a REASON for it..

[SparklyGirl]

This is a REAL issue these days. It still is emotionally crossing the line into temptation and betrayal. Narcissists won’t give you the truth Susan! They could be sexually satisfied but still were thrill seekers having numerous affairs. If that person never communicated about the deficits that caused them to cross the line then it’s pointless to set yourself up by forgiving them and going back for a second helping of this abusive behaviour.

[lorrainenovello]

What if they do compliment you, but they are looking or talking about other women behind your back? It makes me feel like the compliment is garbage. It makes me feel like if you are saying I’m beautiful and I am everything you could want then why is he looking elsewhere? I feel like it’s all BS. Very hurtful.

[mudslideinmypants]

My wife is very secretive with her text messages and social media accounts. I just recently found out she has multiple email addresses . She has admitted to looking At Facebook profiles of her exes. When I asked if she messages them she claimed she doesn’t remember. She claims it was during our rough patch. With that being said I’m constantly being told I’m being secretive or hiding things, when I’m not. I don’t even have any social media accounts !!!

[brandonskyline]

Hi Susan i was dumped by my girlfriend we were together for 5 years and lived together I left my career and my home and family moved 5 hours away to a new city we’re my ex had got a new job that her father had helped her acquire she was there 3 months before I moved all of our belongings down there, with in the first week of me being at our new house I knew something was wrong she was very quiet so I asked what’s wrong and she told me it was a mistake that I came down here . So she dumped me over the phone while she was at her fathers place while I was still unpacking our things so I called my parents they told me to come home right away and I did . By the end of the week I got some of my friends to help me bring back my things to my home town and didn’t see my ex I only staid in my new house for 2 days it’s been 3 months since this happened and I’ve found out she had multiple social media accounts I just want to see your videos have helped me so much and I want to thank you I’ve been taking all the right steps to make myself better and feel better thanks to your encouragement Susan winter!

[lymanmayhew]

If you have to hide it or erase it then you shouldn't be doing it!

[krissykritter]

I'm so appalled that not only did my husband leave me for somebody else but every guy I've met after online has been a scammer and is also a cheater because people are jerks

[Millennial.christian]

And, this is why I will NEVER be with someone on social media or that hides their phone. *TIP* :D

[missmcqueen]

my ex husband use to talk to women it's one of the reasons our marriage was horrible. We were married for 3 years and he admitted he had affair which I was glad because I wanted out of the marriage so good riddance

[jennr]

How can you find out if they do. He won't let me on his phone or give me passwords. He says its because he is setting a boundary and I should just trust him.

[Oceanusnovas-umzf]

It really does hurt when you discover something like that out from a partner you have been with a long time, invested time etc. Like you said Ms Susan, it is a misrepresentation. I agree. Thank you again for your words of wisdom as we continue to learn guidance and smarts from you. Much love and blessings beautiful lady. ❇🌋🌐🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮💖💖💖

[somerandomyoutubechannel]

This is happening to me, and it's because of his ADHD. He is just bored of me after 21 years and I can't satisfy him. So, he's looking for someone much younger and more free, someone without kids. Sometimes it really isn't something you could have done differently.

[wmrwmr]

I built my ex a $4M house she drives a flashy car, works 1 day a week, whatever she needed was not a problem, I paid for her face lift but then lives a secret life full of lies, betrayal and deception !!

.

[janetswain]

Found out my guy was doing this. I'm livid

[frankovera]

I caught my wife doing this after one month's marriage 😂. When I asked my wife why, she said she was disappointed by me and wanted to find another man. But she had this account for a long time, through our engagement, wedding and marriage. Now we're having a divorce. She never loved me. I really loved her, I can't believe it. Can't trust anyone these days, cheating has become so normal.

[Missy-mncc]

Hardest thing to prove if no access to partners phone that's why it's done . Slimy.

[k.w.]

If I had a nickel for every time a guy (yeah it’s usually a guy!) says “Facebook isn’t real!” To counter the crap they’re pulling, Id be a rich woman living on a remote island!

[AndyJMacLeod]

You can ask questions, but it sounds unlikely you’ll get your answers. Snooping is unfortunately the only way to get any truth. But if you are breaking-up anyway, then it’s probably not worth it.

Secondly, if you do get answers like “I was lonely”, you have to ask why they didn’t sort it out in a more mature and constructive way. For example, talking about it. Or going to couples counselling...