How To Comfort Someone

It can be challenging to see others - especially if you're close - go through difficulties. We'd like to be supportive and comforting, but no words we can think of seem to be good enough. In this video I explain how we can comfort someone without needing to swoop in like a superhero with exactly the right solution.

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0:00 Introduction
0:39 Observe Their Need(s)
1:51 Give Them Time
4:48 Support Their Processing
7:15 Signal You're Available

❃❃❃ What To Watch Next ❃❃❃
▶ Don't Do This To Your Loved Ones! | Empathy Misses | Fails | These 8 Responses Are Not Empathetic
▶ Psychologist On How To FEEL More Empathic | Empathetic | Empathy
▶ How To Be Happy For Someone Else's Success I The Link Between Depression & Schadenfreude

❃❃❃ Channel Description ❃❃❃
Hi! I'm Maika - a psychologist, course designer, YouTube creator and speaker. The purpose of my work is to assist you in becoming an expert at self-leadership, so you can live your life to the fullest.

"There is no passion to be found in playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela

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I do not make any warranties about the completeness, reliability and accuracy of the information given on this channel. Any action you take upon the information on this channel is strictly at your own risk, and I will not be liable for any losses and damages in connection to the use of my channel. The information I provide cannot be taken as a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by mental health professionals. Please consult your health professionals before making health-related decisions.

#comfort #support #selfleadershipexperts

Keywords: comfort, how to comfort someone, how to be there for someone, how to comfort, how to comfort someone after a breakup, how to comfort a friend, how to comfort women, how to comfort men, how to comfort a friend who is sad, how to comfort a friend who is crying, how to comfort someone who is sad, how to comfort someone who is crying, how to comfort your girlfriend, how to comfort your boyfriend, giving comfort, comforting

[DrMaikaSteinborn]

▶ Don't Do This To Your Loved Ones! | Empathy Misses | Fails | These 8 Responses Are Not Empathetic
▶ Psychologist On How To FEEL More Empathic | Empathetic | Empathy
▶ How To Be Happy For Someone Else's Success I The Link Between Depression & Schadenfreude
"People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen and a heart to understand them." Unknown

[ardimusalta]

I'm from Indonesia ....I'm always confused about how to act towards those who are sad...
it turns out the best thing is to greet them, listen to their story and strengthen it and don't judge him.
Thank you for this useful knowledge.
Sorry if there are wrong sentences, I used English translate.

[kyliejones]

As a psychologist, someone who has lost a son and someone who has a friend who is grieving, much of this resonates with me, apart from the idea of two linear phases. A person can move backwards and forwards between processing and moving forwards. The bottom line is: simply be present, available and a validating, willing listener, whatever is happening for the person who is suffering.

[YesPlease]

I found this video incredibly helpful, thank you. ❤️

Short story you may find interesting: my last relationship was with a professional trauma therapist. Our break up really hurt because we were in many ways an incredible match and I was incredibly generous and thoughtful towards her throughout. What hurt the most was that she saw that I had unresolved trauma that was interfering in our relationship (which was a blind spot for me because I wasn't familiar with this whole world yet) and she was literally the perfect person to point it out to me, and help point me in the right direction to work on it by introducing me to some concepts and resources, pointing out examples from our relationship, etc. She never did. She also refused to have a conversation with me about what she thought went wrong in our relationship after it was over when I asked her for that. When I was persistent and asked her again for it some time later, she mostly said "Your healing journey isn't my responsibility" and "You should get a therapist."

My relationship with her taught me that even a professional communicator and therapist can fail in this area. What I needed most was to have my experience and emotions validated, to feel like she was willing to be there for me, and some ideas about solutions so that I had something to work on going forward and some hope that things could be better for me in my next relationship.

I now realize that she's an emotionally avoidant type, conflict avoidant, and is scared of direct communication compared to me in relationships. And that's helped me get over her because even though we had a lot in common, our communication styles and our perspectives about what it means to be part of a supportive partnership are totally different. I'm doing the work on myself and I guess it's up to her to recognize where she could improve as well, or she may run into the same issues in her future relationships.

[govindarama]

Giving someone the proverbial shoulder to cry on.

[rolapiepse]

Thank you for this video. This is such an important issue. I was already in this situation in my life, that I wanted to help, but was shy. Next time I will remeber and do better.

[bhutabhavanadas]

Great and practical advice that's emotionally intelligent and really makes a difference. I really appreciated the point about people going through different stages and the importance of helping them to process before they can go towards the next stage. Thank you.

[aleksandarbjelosevic]

What a great video... It is short and to the point. Thank you for sharing this!

[kunalkhan]

Good one, so we have to feel the pain of the victims by putting ourselves on his/her place... :)

[andreashulten]

Increadably helpfull lecture! Thanks Maika!❤

[samayoga]

Such a valuable advice !! Thank you Maika 🙏

[Bonestwiturself]

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you giving these valuable lessons....💗

[Daneiladams]

Yes however I have a friend that used me as a dumping ground for his pain
And I’m not having it
There needs to be boundaries
He’s been repeating the same problems to me for a couple years now
I cannot handle it since I’ve tried to be the listener and advice giver
And it’s just hopeless

[heiwani_]

9:32 I absolutely love this ad and your other video about how to be more empathetic. I’ll be watching more of your videos thank you so much! I’d love to hear more about how one supports somebody else into getting more help. I’ve been trying to do that with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and it’s just not working. I am his only support system and even though I’m doing my best it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Any tips would be appreciated. For more info, he yo-yos between agreeing to go and not. We are in an ‘agree to go phase’ currently but it is completely on the back burner. I don’t know what to do