How to Comfort a Friend Who is Hurting (Precisely What to Say)

This video teaches you simple techniques for how to comfort a friend who is hurting. It provides, specific, evidence-based advice about what to say to provide effective emotional support. If you want to know how to comfort someone, but you don't know exactly how, this video is for you.

Much of this advice comes from a paper written by my former teacher and colleague, the late Brant Burleson, who for many years was a professor of communication studies at Purdue University.

[PieDivide]

For everyone saying they feel bad for having to look this up: don't. You're taking the initiative to be a better person! That's pretty fuckin awesome, in my opinion.

[samuelimevbore]

I'm proud of everyone here who cares enough for their friends 👏

[thankyoujesus]

ONLY SAY THESE THINGS IF YOU REALLY MEAN THEM!!!

[snowriver]

I needed this every time someone cries or is upset I just stand here like 🧍‍♀️

[greenbean]

I’m not proud that I had to look this up um

[shukryustvolskaya]

"I can't control the seas, the seas might be very stormy. But you are not in that boat alone." holy fakkkk :')

[PhoenxFeathers]

Thanks! My friends dog was run over and I want to give her some support but Im super introverted so Im terrible at speaking

[avo.avocado]

I’m the thearapist of the group yet I’m looking at this lol

[AutumnKat]

I recently had a bad situation happen to me and my mom doesn't know how to comfort me, this video is everything I wanted to hear. I will show her this. Thank you.❤

[demoli]

This video is really underrated, for everyone blaming themselves for having to look this up, don't be, please, just the fact that you are looking for a way to help a significant one is amazing and I am proud of you. Since the pandemic started I had a lot of friends, including myself going through a very dark moment, being the listener of the group wasn't a easy task lol, but it is amazing to see a professional talk about something so important and so well explained! Thanks!

[Lyrics_____]

Just a reminder: If you are watching this video You are really a nice person and a good friend.
Loads of love and respect. ❤

[Mapqzs]

I feel bad I have to look this up, but I really just want to help my brother. Today I was going down stairs to get some milk, I was surprise my brother didn’t say anything because normally he knows I’m there, I walk over to the refrigerator that had milk and I saw my brother sitting at his desk with his computer in front of him, I started hearing noises that sounded like crying and so I walked out not even grabbing the milk because I thought he needed alone time. When someone is upset I know someone coming up and trying to talk to them about as if they know what your going through is annoying, because that’s what my parents try to do when I’m upset, they think their doing the right thing but sometimes people just want to be alone and listen to their self. I try putting myself in my brother’s shoes, my younger sister is annoying and when I’m frustrated and she’s their all sitting in happy it makes me lash out. I just know this by documenting myself, I tend to think back on when I’m upset out of habit.

[patwieferich]

Our son has been dealing with depression for a few years now. It has been very difficult to get him to open up with us about how he is feeling but it mostly seems to be due to the death of all 4 of his grandparents within a 5 year time period. Most recently another very close elderly "grandparent" figure passed unexpectedly in her sleep and since he is away in college, we had to tell him over the phone. It seemed like he was making improvements until this happened and now he is worse than ever. It didnt' help when one of the university's counselors invalidated his feelings. He met once with him and never went back because he made him feel worse. We have recently found a councilor that he is comfortable with so we are praying that things get better for him. Thanks for sharing this video, I will try to incorporate some of these suggestions into our conversations.

[khushikaria]

I am watching this video to comfort a friend of mine who is not really in a good situation..
And most of the things were similar to what i really did till now.. so i think it's a relevant video!!
N the best thing to do is to say i m here for u.. by this the person feels really touched n gets to know that people love him...

[PoekietheJackRussel]

it really helped me comfort my friend, thank you

[imhotlol]

The fact that I had to look this up to comfort my friend because I don’t know how to deal with emotions at all.

[dlull]

I'm seeing a lot of comments talking about how people feel bad that they had to look this video up to comfort people and their loved ones. I hope that these people can realise that there's nothing to feel bad or guilty about. You're going out of your way to research how to comfort someone in the right way to not hurt them or make their pain worse. Thats just kindness. Why would you feel bad for being kind?
And feeling guilty because you can't comfort peoing is no excusable reason to feel guilty as well. Everyone has something they cant do well. Wether that be drawing or talking. But thats not the point here. What we need to focus on is that you went out of your way to improve your skills after admitting that you cant do something well (some people dont want to accept they cant do something, so im already proud of you for accepting yourself)
Hope yall arent too hard on yourselves! You're a kind and amazing human being! Believe it!

[AnuragVimal-ngzj]

I never wanted to see these type of videoes.
But the time always shows me that I control nothing.
And made me realise that these are part of life you can never escape.😖☹️☹️☹️😭😭😭😭😭😭

[ceye]

My friend has been in and out of the hospital. One stay was for 25 days. This video is awesome. I’m going to watch it again and again. I’m going to take notes and practice this in the mirror. If you knew my friend you would love him. He is so kind and sweet. I want to help him. Thank you so much for teaching me these ways of relating. My family didn’t know how to do this so I never learned. Now I also have more insight into my own challenges and the need to open feel my feelings and emotions. Self compassion and compassion in action. 💎💎💎

[lemonylea]

As a person who has a hard time even understanding myself these videos can really help I’ve always had a hard time knowing what to say in any situation