How to help your parentified adopted child

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Thanks so much for watching!

-Katie

[KatTheo]

I didn't have siblings, but was parentified and was practically taking care of myself at 12 when I was put into foster care. The big issue I saw with especially newbie foster parents who didn't have bio kids was they were desperate to be parents and didn't want the type of independence I was used to. I could do things for myself, and they wanted to treat me like I felt was a baby. Maybe with siblings there's doing too much that takes away "being a kid" but the problem with parentified kids like me who essentially were able to do things that foster parents thought were "parent roles" is that it takes away that independence. I felt it was just plain weird for some stranger to wash my underwear and I never wanted foster parents to wash my clothes. With access to a washer and dryer, I didn't think there was any need for my foster mom to do my laundry. I was used to going out and going to the store or the library when I wanted. I practically lived at the library since there was a/c there and I couldn't understand why I couldn't just walk to the library if I was bored and wanted to go do something. At my longer term placement when I was 12-13, the foster mom wanted to hold my hand when I crossed the street. It was weird. I think that type of wanting to be a mom is a bigger factor in why parentified kids are treated like they are since it's people who want to be parents and they see this kid not doing what they want and some times being more mature when they hear about how so many foster/adopted kids act younger and they frequently want that since they want those parenting experiences.

[crystali]

Our home study is this month. Is the group for people who haven’t adopted yet?