HEALING THE PARENTIFIED CHILD

**ONLINE COURSES FOR HEALING AND DEALING WITH BORDERLINE/NARCISSISTIC PARENTS AND HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD BY RE-PARENTING YOURSELF (LINK BELOW)

**FREE CHECKLIST: DO I HAVE NARCISSISTIC AND/OR BORDERLINE PARENTS?

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This video is from a new series about healing our childhood and relationships called "Healing Love," and describes steps you can take to work on healing the Parentified Child within.

This week's series will go deeply into how being a parentified child impacts our lives, our mental health, relationships, inner child and how to how heal.

Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(***This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Guided journal to help direct healing from childhood coming soon!

xo

*** Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

Thank you so very much - I truly and sincerely appreciate you, and the time and thoughts you share here:)

[cindye]

The joke I used to make about not having children was that I had raised my mom, and look how she turned out.

[sudhakhristmukti]

Its good to have a day that has nothing 'scheduled' in it...let it just unfold...and not feel that 'doing nothing' is an awful crime!!

[DeboraRuzzo]

It’s strange how being a parentified child made me a very good caretaker and my ultimate choice of career as a nurse. I never had children because I felt like I had been taking care of everyone from my childhood on. I will never forget my mom recounting when I was born and they put me in her arms and she said she knew I was going to be her special angel and that I would take care of her. I had a job the minute I arrived. No wonder I’m so tired!

[singingdoc]

Today, of all days, I REALLY needed to hear that it is never too late to heal and grow. In a youth driven culture, it is so easy to fall into the negative thought pattern of "your best days are behind you". Life does not peak at 30 (sorry, not sorry Gen Z for bursting your bubble...) and we need to remember that some of our best accomplishments happen once we have obtained the wisdom of living through some of life's most challenging situations. God bless you for doing this wonderful work! 💛

[eobrien]

I like the idea of self-care as smalls ways of saying, “I matter”. I was/am absolutely a parentified child, who wound up in a very caretaking job as a teacher. Every day at lunch, I eat on an actual (reusable) plate with real silverware, and make a coffee when I’m done if there’s time. It is a small thing, but doing that every single day at work—no matter how crazy it gets—reminds that I am worth doing that, making a nice moment in the middle of a hectic day. Instead of just shoveling in food straight from a Tupperware or off a paper plate. It gets me out of damage control/survival mode and is really important.

[Ellajoy]

Hella Dr Kim
I have parenting my siblings for as long as I can remember. I took legal custody for them when I was 21 because I wanted to give them stability. They are grown now youngest is 23. Now I am exhausted and struggling with my health. I
Thank you for this content. I will be looking to get a therapist to my me heal my wounds.

[vickieheather]

Me! 1000% I've been working for years to figure out who I am after my mother's death. The enmeshment was overwhelming to me, as my brothers expected me to be the care taker...more abuse. They treated me as she did. Too many stories. Needless to say, we no longer communicate. I remember from infant on that I could not rely on this woman... pretty sure she never soothed me as a infant. Her favorite story was how good of a baby I was, that I never cried at night from day one home from the hospital. By the end of my mother's life, when I confronted her on much of this, I asked if it ever occurred to her that she was sleeping on her Good Ear (she is deaf in one ear from mumps as a child). She never thought about it... It was normal for her to sleep on her good ear and we all knew if there was a fire, she may not hear you yelling "Fire". This woman could sleep hard and deep...she slept through an earth quake that moved all the furniture throughout the room. She was crazy self-involved and emotionally unavailable and an extreme narcissist, and may be borderline...who knows...she is dead now. This woman had no interest in looking within to see how her actions affected others... I know now I picked relationships according to what I was use to. Trying to be better to myself now. It is real difficult to figure out who I am after a lifetime (I am 59) of caretaking.

[nfoster]

Something I noticed in these educational videos about parentification that aren't mentioned enough, is that parentification also takes form not just in older/younger siblings, but also in space of when a sibling(regardless of birth order)have kids and one of the siblings take role of raising his or her niece or nephew due to single parent dynamic, mental illness, or other factors.
I say this, because my older sister was definitely parentified since she pretty much helped raise me and my brother since my mom was a single parent along with being verbally abusive and other traits which I later discovered as narcissism.
The cycle repeated when my sister had kids and I was in place at one point helping raise my niece and nephew.
Same dynamic, different time frames

[jwhite]

Ha. I love watching birds now too! Who knew. Lesley the Bird Nerd is a favorite channel.

[marymorenomariposa]

my mom STILL tries to parentify me but i put my foot down and keep boundaries good now

[TheSaz]

This was an interesting series, would you consider adding another video to it. How the adult child often sacrifices their life to look after the ageing parent- sometimes even living with them and giving up their own needs and chance of romantic relationships. Often the parent makes the adult child feel guilty for wanting more of their own life and how this affects each attachment style. Thank you.

[janai]

Thank you 💗
When I am listening to you so many dots are connecting in my life. Until recently I didn't even know that parentification is something bad. I always felt proud that I was an hard working child, taking care of my sisters, helping my mum with the chores. Now I don't want at all to have my own children, but is not because I already raised my sisters. I have the feeling that I didn't enjoy my childhood, my life until now. Besides this I just become aware that I was emotionally abused as a child and I have a lot of healing to do. I need to take care of myself and having a child seems too much.

[ethergal]

Thank you for your informative videos. I’m a 48 year old woman whose mother was diagnosed with BPD. She died last year and I’m relieved but left to heal my wounds.

[richardbutler]

My inner child was a critical thinker.

[ericaharris]

Thank you dr Kim! As I’m 26, I’m trying to get this mother wound healing worked on before I have kids! It was a break through for me to hear you say we can actually lean in and appreciate our hypervigelent selves… I love that I care deeply for others

[crystinamarie]

Thank you for this! Self love is a new idea for me. My thrrapist asked me how do you reward yourself? I couldn't answer that, I still can't. But I'm gonna keep trying. I also started on an anti anxiety medication to help me, it's been great. But yea, I love my bird feeder and it feels nice to have a quiet home, haven't thought about having kids until now and probably cause I was a mother since I was eldest of 3. So now I'm enjoying my solitude.

[realhealing]

I love birds and I feed them every day.❤️

[NancyRuthDeenBreakupCoach]

Wow this is so incredibly helpful. My MIL hardcore parentifies everyone, and today I reached a point where I realized that and have been wondering why everytime I’m around her I feel used like I’m supposed to be a sponge for her to just talk to. I feel like a constant crutch. But it never 100% dawned on me until today as I put 2 and 2 together with my dad.

[veelaliddell]

I've taken notes and I can already see how much of a change this will make. Thank you so much 🙏🏻

[tiffanynixon]

I just stumbled upon these videos, I am floored at how much this describes my childhood. Thank you for what you doing! It’s changing lives.