Jordan Peterson - Get Over Your Fear of Rejection!

Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson talks about how men are motivated by the image of female perfection. He describes the paradoxical situation of being terrified by the women you are most attracted to.

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[hevnervals]

I can very much relate to what Peterson is saying. My first love was manifisted in my mind kind of as the judge of my worthwhileness, I became almost obsessed over her and not because I liked her THAT much, but because deep inside, losing her would absolutely kill my sense of self worth. I think when we eventually ended our relationship, it wasn't her I was crying about, it was my bruised ego.

[MilenkoMiletic]

Moral of the story "don't put women on pedestal"

[richardlongmore]

Man this dude is rewireing my fucking brain. Thank god

[fusion]

I think the oversexualization of our society is a big part of the problem. Men have been fed a line that sex should be pretty much all we want and that beauty is the most prized thing we could ever go after. Meanwhile women have been fed the idea that sexual liberation is both physically and emotionally satisfying while also being politically meaningful and good and "empowering" or whatever. So men have been put under extreme pressure to live up to some macho stereotype of being "Alpha Males" i.e. getting as much sex from as many attractive women as possible; and women have been socially pressured to play along with this by so called "Sex positive" feminism and a culture of rampant promiscuity and open sexuality which we clearly see all around us.

Unsurprisingly this is all very disorienting for men who are being simultaneously told to not objectify or sexualize women, but at the same time are being told to "Slay as much pussy" as possible, otherwise, in some basic sense, you are "Not a real man". Just think about the film The 40 Year Old Virgin. The entire premise of that film is that the protagonist is some sort of a freak, a laughingstock or whatever, just because he has not had sex yet at the age of 40. This is an entertainment industry that utterly epitomizes shallowness, degeneracy, immaturity and a sort of mindless self-indulgent attitude that I believe is totally toxic, in addition to being utterly contemptible. This is roughly the message that the media, Hollywood and popular culture on the whole sends to men.

Unsurprisingly this has resulted in millions of males becoming weirdo shut-ins who are addicted to porn and terrified of real women. We need to take a step back and re-assess this whole thing. Men and women should be able to communicate with each other and become friends and build relationships in a very gradual, natural manner without all this pressure to "seal the deal". After all, should women be reduced to sex objects ultimately by men in their lives? I don't think so! At the same time, a man should feel that it is the RIGHT thing to do to get to know someone very closely before even considering any type of physical intimacy. Our society used to believe in chastity and abstinence, now we have taken things to the opposite extreme and, surprise surprise, people are out of their minds and thoroughly dysfunctional over this chaotic and disorienting sexual revolution which has happened over the past century. It's time that we TALK to each other and build genuine trust and mutual respect instead of just looking for the next bang on Tinder, because sooner or later people need to recognize that when you cheapen sex to the level we have done, it actually makes people less happy and less emotionally stable, not more happy or stable.

[True]

When you start valuing and respecting yourself enough, you simply don't care about rejection anymore. Rejection is a big part of life and you will always be rejected for lots of things, probably more so than you are getting accepted. But you have to go through all the "no's" in order to get the "yes". Worst thing you can do is to give up or not try anymore. Then you simply fail life.

[PassedTime]

Just like some are encouraging men to quit porn, I (as a female) encourage women to quit facebook, instagram, and any other cognitively-depreciating poisons which sabotage our climb to self-actualization. Learn how beautiful it is to take care of your body and your soul and nurture your femininity in constructive hobbies that do not involve gossip or revolve around others.

[drewsmith]

One of my teachers once told me, "It only has to work once." I think once you understand that concept, you start to realize that you don't have to hope beyond hope for it to work. You just have to be your best self and eventually, it will work.

[clownworld]

Just made a huge achievement in regards to fearing rejection. I’ve always had a deep pathological fear of being romantically rejected that I wouldn’t even acknowledge. Would date women who were obsessed with me that I had little interest in to avoid this. When you finally show someone who you really are or what your feelings are and accept that they might reject you for it you feel a great sense of pride and relief regardless of the outcome

[richdiaz]

35 hours of classes and this is the most interesting thing I've learned all week. In 4 minutes

[raphidae]

My friends and I would play a game like this. We'd go to some far away city (where we'd know nobody and we'd never have to return) to go out to bars and clubs and would actively try to get rejected and would keep score (most rejections wins and loser would need to be designated driver next time).

Like, use the corniest pick-up lines we could think of, thinking "this is bound to get me rejected, because I look like a complete idiot". Using the pick-up lines that are joked about but nobody seriously uses (like stamping on some ice from a drink and saying "so, now the ice is broken").

What we learned very quickly is that girls don't give a fuck what you do, as long as you show clear interest. They'll laugh at the stupidest things imaginable, as long as you bring it without fear. And being somewhere where we'd never be again, and having the shared knowledge with your friends that rejection was what you're going for took away all fear. We'd rack up more phone numbers than rejections every single time, often making out with tens of girls a night.

And what was particularly surprising is that what seemed to be a winning strategy, namely going up to girls that are obviously there with another boy already, or even boyfriend, was actually not a sure-fire way to get rejected at all. Often they'd even propose to ditch the other guy and go elsewhere, would slip you her phone number or have a friend bring it to you.

And we definitely weren't pretty guys by any stretch of the imagination. I can really recommend doing this to any boy or man.

[dochmbi]

I love Jordan B Peterson. I'm cleaning my room right now as a tribute to him. He really is the philosopher for lost young men like me. And yes, I've been motivated by women a lot, basically the whole reason I started exercising regularly was because of women and I also started taking more social action and risks and found RSD.

[gayrambo]

For the best relationship advice, watch Jordan B. Peterson and Patrice O'Neal videos.

You'll get sorted out straight away.

[ST-krhz]

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you dont take
-Wayne Gretzky"
-Michael Scott

[sharoncohen]

Every time you're scared to hit on a girl, think of it this way - do you think you're a good person? special? cool in your own way? I bet you are. If she's sad, will you be there for her? If she's happy, will you want to help her be even happier? If so then all I'm hearing is you being an amazing benefit in her life. If that's the case, she should be thankful that she's so lucky, having a guy/girl like you wanting to be part of her life!

Worst case scenario - she rejects you? Her loss. It only means you're 1 girl closer to the one who will appreciate you.

[ShiftEnigma]

Embrace your inner beast, go to the Himalayas for 2 years. Learn to crawl, hunt and eat like a bear. Once you've shed your outer shell of pussification. Rejection will be the least of your worries.

[garehnkalloghlian]

The difference between being a creep and being persistent:



Persistent people are 7 or above

[ArcanePath]

I got over my fear of rejection once, by getting drunk enough to approach a girl who I assumed would say no because she looked out of my league. To my astonishment she engaged me, and suddenly I had nothing to say, since I didn't figure getting past "hi, how are you?" or whatever it was I said. I eventually had to just walk away crippled because I didn't know what to say or do next.

[captainjack]

Jordan Peterson demonstrating brilliance as usual!

[FIGSANE]

I remember watching this at the beginning of the year.

I realize that even in my late 20s I still suffer from “this”.

This was medicine.

[himurogemma]

All life is rejection not just relationships but everything.