The Quiet Cruelty Of A Passive Aggressive Narcissist

When you fail to give narcissists their supply, they look for ways to punish. Sometimes they can be overtly harsh in their treatment toward you, but commonly, they can employ passive aggressive tactics. This is especially true with covert narcissists. Dr. Les Carter describes how there is an ongoing cruelty in their method, but as you see through their schemes you can become self-preserving.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[jukes]

Withholds affection, ignores you, doesn't keep his word, keeps you waiting, won't look at you, doesn't return calls or emails, tries to make you feel small, stirs the pot then acts innocent when you get angry.

[aycaerakbas]

Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect

[zachscully]

Under-the-radar aggression until one reacts, then the “Woe is me” melodrama immediately premiers on the world stage. Manipulators

[omyota]

Remember folks, passive aggressive is still aggressive. They're still setting out to intentionally hurting you. It's an attack, every bit as much as someone swinging a crowbar at you is.

[JennyBaty]

They are deep down evil. But afraid to show it outright. They bait you in many different ways. Then when you go off...they are smug and can say "See everyone she's crazy. I told you."

[kiefajordan]

They will literally try to make you feel bad for realizing the truth & calling them out on it!

[lauragirolami]

I came across the following quote that I had saved a while ago… it still resonates with me!!! “If someone gets angry with you for setting a boundary, consider that as a good sign that the boundary was necessary.”

~ Jenna Korf ~
(Relationship Coach)

[JHixon-biok]

Passive aggressive narcissists enjoy the misery that they inflict. My ex had a malicious grin on his face during his times of cruelty. A grin!! These PA people do want you to hurt.

[MJ-qbph]

My God - my entire family is even sicker than I thought possible

[MareB-n]

There’s always plausible deniability with them- it’s your appraisal of the situation vs theirs, and they have unlimited excuses and lies. They know they’ve done something to hurt you but they will give you 50 explanations as to why you are wrong about them. I always remember- once is an accident, twice is a pattern…and they will never be accountable. They want you to break down…

[Jessica_Lynn]

These are the most harmful and dangerous narcissists. This describes perfectly 20 years with my ex husband. If you're normal you can't imagine people can be this cruel so you think it's you.

[robindonnelly]

Being on the receiving end of passive-aggressiveness wears you down to a nub. When I finally put myself into counseling for my symptoms of trauma, and discovered I had C/PTSD, I was told by my therapist that contempt for someone in this form of passive-aggressive behavior is actually very dangerous. She said that anybody who can treat someone with such disdain and utter lack of respect, empathy, and compassion can also physically harm or even kill you. What an eye-opener for me to realize I had been immersed in this toxic tea for a lifetime. No wonder I was so sick and completely confused as to what was going on. I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in years now. It takes so much time and effort on our part to heal from this. Just keep going and rest when you need. You’ll get there! Thanks, Dr. C! #teamhealthy

[Me-mnnw]

Never call them on their behavior! That's just plain stupid! Walk away while living your best life as it is the best revenge!

[peggyrichter]

For 32 years I did not know I was dealing with a narcissist. The divorce is one month away. Thank you for revealing that I am not crazy.

[laurenwilson]

They do it because they’re cowards. The ultimate mouth breather.

[josiah]

This was my mother to a tee. Over 50 years of cruelty from her before I learned who/what she was and cut her off. She went absolutely nuts and mobilized her legion of flying monkeys against me, many of whom still malign me after her death. It matters not. I cut them all out of my life too and moved 1000 miles away. The peace is indescribable. Today, I cut off anybody who shows any narcissistic traits. I'm not living what remains of my life with any of those people in it.

[aimeestutzman]

They are cruel and there never is a resolution.

[christinescott]

Dr.Carter you hit the narcissistic nail on the head, your title is spot on "quiet cruelty".

[PeppersMom]

Messing with or mocking/joking to make a person feel small. This was huge in my life.

[seaglass]

Once you fall off the pedestal they put you on, they see and treat you as their adversary. One of the hardest parts for me was that no one, including my sibling and my best friend, believed that this “wonderful” man could do any wrong.