Fighting For Love: Borderline Triangulation

Thursday, July 18, 2024 7/18/24

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#daviddemars #demarscoaching

[mrfake]

Once you unhook you're filled with disgust for what they put you through. Gross.

[kams_corner]

My ex did this to me and I didn’t even realize and I kept telling her to stop talking to him and she lied to me saying she did and gaslit me so much

[adamfarmwald]

Thank you for being real. You have saved me from entertaining her lies. I’ve been up all night just trying to get her to own up to something after it’s been over for 2 weeks. She’s still trying to say that she never cheated. But when I left her friends house to take my son home from the Christmas party he forgot something and we had to go back not even five minutes later and within those 5-10 minutes her friends bf went to pick up his brother while I was gonna be gone for 2 hours to take my child back to his moms then come back. And mind you this was a guy that they had previously attempted to set her up with. 😅 would love to hear some perspective on this. Thank you again for your content🙏❤️

[IvyAAngel]

David you a Beautiful person i wish i knew of more people like you in the world. You've been through trauma through out your life but you didn't allow it to change the way you think or feel and you still have love in your heart. You are doing a Wonderful job with your channel you've changed my life keep doing what your doing you are truly making a break through difference.

[donaldsodav]

My ex would say things like "you are like my best male friend who I slept with but he isn't funny and you are". I often forget how gross my ex was with her bringing orbiters into the mix and then pitting me against them.

[jrozinek]

You're 100% right, you can't even make up the things these vile people say and do. It's something I will NEVER forget about unfortunately

[zhzhan]

Been there, been done to exactly like what you described in the video. I've been to hell and come back alive to tell you all the audience there that among all the maladaptive behaviors a borderline can inflict upon her partner, triangulation is the worst of the worsts as a form of narcissistic manipulation. It can be so heart-wrenching Everything said here is so right on the issue. Thks 👍

[Ppsy]

After his second devaluation my ex bpd started triangulations first via men from his past. No matter how much I told her about my pain, She told me that if I didn't adapt, she'd leave me. Eventually I realized that She needed reassurance about my feelings for her. These triangulations were fictitious... Except for the last one. After several months, when everything seemed to be going well, She started up again. It all started with one of her insults. Her fear of abandonment made her as paranoid as ever; we argued (she has a gift for creating Dantesque conflicts). In a few days she split me up. I caught them together, screamed and she blackballed me. Slander, police, you can guess the rest...

[KenFlo]

When I first met my ex, she was engaged. I didnt know. We stopped talking once i found out her fiance was extremely upset. Then she told me they were breaking up, and her and I started dating. Yet, she still lived with him...I told her that was a no go. But that guy was part of our relationship for like a year. Just a thorn in my side. She kept him around too long. Now we're broken up after all of the abuse. Trauma bonds ruin your life for a while.

[void]

‘You’ve got to fight ‘ I asked for what ? Things got vicious . Horrible, absolutely terrible.

[JKDVIPER]

7:12 Narcissistic triangulation, one of the worst means of scaring people beyond recognition.” If you aren’t strong, don’t have a good solid sense of self, have the ability to keep grinding while fighting off urges to help, placate or satisfy the perpetrator, you’ll wind up in a gooey quagmire state of perpetual confusion and anxiety!” 😬🧠💯coach DEMARS says “Who loves you that constantly riles you up, puts you in corners, places heavy duty guilt trips passive aggressively. Yucky. 🤢💯toxic.

[williamgoldenvi]

Hey David. My bpd ex completely split on me back in December and broke up with me very suddenly. She gave me less than a ten minute conversation and gave me zero closure. A few weeks after the break up I found out that she had most likely been cheating on me with a guy she knew from her past. The evidence I had was pretty damning so I broke no contact and confronted her about it. She completely denied it but admitted she had started talking to this guy “after we broke up” and that they were not dating. She said “I know how being cheated on feels so I would never do that to you.”
She told me before we broke that her doctor suspected she had bpd. I’m 95% sure I was being gaslit and made out to be the bad guy when I confronted her. She really made me doubt if the cheating actually happened despite the evidence I had. It sucks not knowing the full truth. I think in a way that would’ve at least given me some closure.

[JustinHopkins-nz]

I've been in several of these with my BPD girlfriend . She seems to enjoy it . Starts off as gaslighting during the grooming . Then boom she is gone and you don't know where she is or what she is doing . Tells you it's a friendship then always turns into more . She usually does this if I ever questioned the toxicity in our relationship and then it gets sick and stressful . It's degrading to through this people and it gets harder every time you take them back.

[pythonpatrol]

"Why would you tell me?"

That's a very pertinent question I should have been asking my girlfriend every time she told me about her ex or every other guy that was blowing up her inbox for a hook-up. This was pretty much on a daily basis.

I didn't even know what triangulation was back then, but after watching these videos, I'm definitely seeing it now.

Well, fortunately, I got out after only three months.

[AdaptorLive]

Have been watching a ton of videos about abuse these last couple of days because I was in the middle of a triangle until today. Your, completely justified, anger was so cathartic that I finally got the courage to cut ties. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[sungam]

Went out with a BPD, told me within the first couple of weeks.
Pure chaos, i was like a frog in slowly boiling pot, gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation, split up and got back more than i can recall, $$$’s in support, suicide attempts, drug use, cheating, ultimately monkey branched to an ex, blocked and ghosted me
Betrayal trauma manifest. Left me gutted, not needed anymore
Ultimately I betrayed myself and better judgment
Thank you for Your videos

[olegal]

Excellent video. So packed with truth.
Thank you David.

[gingersnap]

My daughter took her bpd sister in when she was pregnant. Took care of everything, baby clothes and equipment, medical care, helped after birth with night feeding. Then she didn’t make it home quickly enough with cigarettes. An uproar ensued, police had to be called. Bpd played victim, got authorities to believe it, her sister became the perpetrator in the eyes of the law . Bpd knows perfectly how to manipulate police and those associated.

[CarlDelaney-be]

Phenomenally good video. Have lived it and can confirm the level of pain and confusion is true. To be cheated on and then be told it wasn’t really cheating and that even if it was cheating it was all my fault anyway. Just awful.

[melodysanquist]

Wow! I’ve been here. Thank you for posting