How to Test Your Emotional Maturity: 9 Signs to Look For

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Knowing how emotionally mature you are is a good starting point if becoming more mature is one of your goals. Once you know your level of emotional maturity, you can take an honest, and self-compassionate look at what you want to be working on. Emotional maturity is something that anyone can build with the right tools.

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[antonboludo]

Fortunately, emotional maturity can be learned later in life. It is never too late.

[larouedorllc]

Signs of emotional immaturity:
1. Being defensive
2. Needing to be right
3. Refuting the perspective of others
4. Looking down on others to feel good about yourself
5. Getting very angry / ghosting during conflicts
6. Blaming others when things go wrong / not taking responsibility
7. Taking everything personally
8. Passive-aggressive behavior
9. Using guilt to control others

[raiderlove]

That's me. In an argument or disagreement I often feel my ego is threatened I always go on the offensive and attack the other person. I think this is a trait I picked up by watching my mother as I was around her most of the time growing up. I hate this trait because it has driven away real friends and folks that I care a lot about.

[nicoletterule]

I just had a really bad break up and everything that my boyfriend told me that upset him We’re pretty much exactly these traits. I questioned if I was a narcissist, but then my therapist told me if I was a narcissist, I would not be asking that question lol however, I just found the topic of EIP today and realize that this is my exact problem and one I really want to be working on.

[angelamossucco]

It’s also about the people around you feeling better in your presence. healed people stay only around those who are not creating unhealthy experiences

[lesliengo]

Emotional immaturity just means we were not taught or raised on how to properly deal with difficult situations and emotions. I notice a lot of behaviours from adults are a reflection of their own behaviours in childhood where they were not taught personal development. Additionally, another one to add is worrying a lot about what other people think of you is a sign of emotional immaturity. This is one of the issues I struggle the most

[MorganJServices]

The broken record in my mind since I made the conscious decision to work on my triggers is "react differently this time", over and over. If fail in a small or a big way, I am stopping the self defeating mantra by recognizing that I am still maturing emotionally because I see the negative behavior coming out of me immediately. I am now willing to acknowledge my reactions are not always appropriate to the situation. I will keep going forward and celebrate all victory's no matter the size of it.

[chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Coach Julia!! Welcome back on YouTube!

I LOVE this video! And of course, being a Senior Shifter, I have been working on each of these things and yes absolutely nothing wrong if we still struggle with some of these - no shame at all. It is understandable if we grew up in an environment where we weren't taught NOT to do these things. I am learning now, and I am feeling so much better! Some of these I still need to work on more than others, so I am looking forward to continuing my journey!

Here are my notes:

• No blaming or shaming ourselves for learning and observing emotional immaturity in formative years.
• Emotional immaturity can look like reactive, defensive, take things personally, you blame others, stuck in overthinking situations or try to control people through guilt or manipulation.

9 Signs:

1. You find yourself highly defensive.
2. Needing to be right.
3. Have a hard time creating space for or tolerating other people's perspectives.
4. Looking down on others to feel better about yourself.
5. Shutting down or lashing out when you are feeling threaten in conflict.
6. Constantly blaming others when things go wrong.
7. Taking everything personally.
8. Passive aggressive Behavior.
9.Trying to control others.

To anyone who may need this reminder, remember that you are worthy and valued. As Julia says, we are worthy and valued because we were born! That is the only prerequisite we need. Sending love and hugs! ❤

[torreymoreno]

I resonate with literally all of these🤦🏻‍♂️
After a recent breakup, I’m looking at all the mistakes and realizing I have so much work to do and that I’m very emotionally immature. Thank you Julia for this very informative video, I’m looking forward to the next one. I’ve been desperately looking for answers on HOW to do the work of building emotional maturity so your next video is much anticipated.

[vhayashi]

I agree except that we have to ghost and cut off toxic people who are narcissistic or other mental issues who are abusive in many areas. We all need to take accountability for our own feelings and actions yes.

[issievdhorst]

I am VERY defensive, not only for myself, but also for others, Taking everything personally, Guilt sometimes.

[helle_larsen]

The sibling example reminds me so much of myself haha. When I was younger I would tease my brother a lot, and one time he hit me by accident. And I remember my parents got angry at me for teasing him, but then they saw I was bleeding from my mouth due to my brother's reaction. And like growing older it makes a lot of sense. Cause even if I was at fault for teasing him, it was very harmless, and didn't deserve that intense form of reaction back. Now as an adult I keep that in mind too. That regardless of what people do to you, don't react in a way that you sink to their level or do worse than what they did, because then you are not any better.

[helle_larsen]

Hello! Helle here! Currently watching and can already notice I struggle with some of these. But I know a lot of it is due to things from childhood, and it is a relief to hear that it is something I can now work on and improve as an adult. It takes a lot of time though, but hopefully I can improve my emotional maturity.

[cherylannebarillartist]

This is the best talk about being able to self reflect to ease into self understanding.
Being able to say to myself, “ah, that’s what happened to me, that’s how I’ve integrated this behavior, THATS my guide to undoing and moving forward.
Excellent.

[magydimitry]

Omg 😳 some points sounded familiar. Some I feel like maybe I got over them, but others still need work. 😢 a couple struck a cord about not being included or the need for control. I felt like you were talking straight at me!

[sbowenful]

OK! I'm 69 years old and I have been working on myself for so many years! I know that myself and my husband are both immature at times-I wish therapy could have told us this many years ago! My Son is struggling with relationships, probably because of my upbringing, which led to his immature upbringing, BUT, I truly don't know a single person in my long life that doesn't have some immaturity. Somehow, this needs to be narrowed down better. Seriously, to help people.

[nadiamorales]

Hi Julia 😊
Thank you for helping me out much appreciate it.
It has taken me sometime to accept that the relationship I am in is not mature has taken its toll on my health and selfsteem
Soon am leaving this place and moving out but to tell you the truth I do feel everything came crushing down on me😢😢😢
Also that leaving with addicts does not help my wellbeing.
Much appreciate it thank you...🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[yodhannafelipe]

Thank you so much for sharing this, and admitting to things you used to struggle with… What you mentioned about looking down on people… I’ve been at the opposite end of little annoying comments like the ones you mentioned… and it caused me to distance myself from people who had that tendency… because it was as if they actually expected me to worry more about their expectations of me than about living my life… Some act as if I created distance for no reason at all… like I have a problem, or I’m antisocial…🙄🙄🤔🤔 So confusing to me. I’m loving my peace…

I felt like a victim for a long time… until I blew up 🙄… That’s when I began taking responsibility for my part in it… Still learning boundaries, and my triggers… work in progress…

[mohammedalkhonaizi]

I love the reminder in the beginning ♥️ makes a difference

[juliecambronne]

Awareness is key to becoming the person you want to be. So
Many of these resonate from over the years. Defensiveness has certainly gotten me in trouble. I learned perfectionistic behaviors early in life and worked hard to always do it right. It was hard to take any critical feedback. I heard it as you aren’t good enough. You’re not smart enough. Turns out they are lies I would tell myself. You can’t turn back
Time but you can learn new ways to talk to
Yourself with respect.
Thank you for speaking to this relevant topic, Julia!