Complex Trauma and Views on Independence Vs Intimacy

Complex trauma can cause individuals to view independence as “strength” and intimacy as “weakness”.

If a child was unable to connect with their parents, they may have hardened their heart as a method to survive. This shows up in individuals who believe they are self-reliant and that connecting to anyone will weigh them down. For them, independence is more important than intimacy, and in fact, intimacy will come across looking like neediness/ weakness.

#healthy #healing #relationships #mentalhealth #complextrauma #addictionrecovery #addiction #complextraumarecovery #cbt #timfletcher #fy #fyp #mentalhealthawareness #shorts
#healingcomplextrauma #signsofhealing #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #recovery #basicneeds #12basicneeds

[britneyserrano]

As that person intimacy feels like vulnerability! Letting someone that close gives them power to hurt you

[princessmoonpeter]

My life has been a sacrifice for others, yet they bullied me.
Now I love myself More

[nancyhjort]

I finally realized that a relationship with my father was impossible. I was running around the room with a plug in and searching, searching, but discovered that there were no outlets.

[thecross]

You are excellent at this and understand how it is

[stephbyerly]

This is a perfect description of me and my ex. I wanted intimacy and closeness, he was the avoidant, always keeping me at arms length. But doling out just enough to keep me hooked. I didn't understand it at the time, but it was a major trauma bond.

[anneliesewright]

Anxious & avoidant people have both been abused or neglected in their childhoods, so they developed unhealthy ways to protect themselves that end up sabotaging their adult relationships. Both people need to work hard on healing their wounds, forgiving the people who hurt them and learn to develop a secure attachment style. If they truly care about their partner, they will try to help each other in that process. ❤🙏

[RebuildingWithClarity]

Being raised around narcissist and dating several narcissist, I believe I'm avoidant.

[anugrahhardantiputri]

Balancing both are better, intimacy and boundaries, we need both of them.

[meganbrewster]

Or you started out as an anxious person and were treated badly over and over again and became avoidant to save you're own sanity. Now healing from this...

[Anxiousamericantraveler]

Yeah and I'm so much happier by myself because the best and most important relationship starts with yourself. Men who didn't understand that always wanted to belittle me and take advantage of my emotions

[ildikovisolit]

No I crave closeness but with the right person😢❤❤❤❤

[SeasonsOFcolors]

This is so me !! I don’t want to cuddle or anything lol I also don’t want to be bothered with reporting in on where Iv been or what I’m doing all the time .

[djmandyland]

I literally struggle with being BOTH anxious and avoidant. I'm avoidant at first, I'm a loving and kind person to everyone but on the very rare occasion I open myself up and allow myself to be vulnerable with someone I then become anxious.

[christinav]

I got married to a man for twenty years and he completely avoided me both physically and in conversation he gave me the silent treatment not a spoken word. Thank God I was discarded by him. Then I became self sufficient and completely independent . I know my self worth. I nurture and love me now.

[PrettyMamaPatchwork]

I saw this in my husband but like most women, we have hope they wiĺl change for me. I was holding on for the hope that he would want to work at the bonds of marriage. I was so wrong.

[yvy]

Don’t judge people that avoid like that, the amount of trauma and suffering it took to get to that point is something normal ppl can’t understand

[Karen-ef]

Independent after all the b, s, of being a scapegoat that was a caretaker. Alone is Self-love. ❤ No wrong people, it's trauma free, at least in the present. PTSD.

[karascene]

Oh my goodness 😮 Tim did it again! He perfectly describes me in this clip. When no one else gets you, or what you're going through, Tim "Fletch" does! I need to watch the entire video now! 😄👏🏻💖

[Lori-uhjf]

My husband is extremely anxious and needs constant attention and becomes angry and vindictive. this is suffocating and has caused me to become an avoidant person.

[Monalisa]

I use to be the "independent " person. Couldn't have intimacy it was a way of protection. But God. He healed my heart, He healed those wounds. Now i desire physical touch and intimacy. Praise the Lord