How Trauma Breeds Mistrust and Learning to Trust Again - Complex Trauma Prisons

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For many who grew up in Complex Trauma, they were lied to, betrayed, used, abused; promises were broken. The core need of a child to trust was violated and eroded. To survive, they had to stop trusting. But for many, they continue to do this in adult life, even with trustworthy people; and it prevents healthy relationships and does a lot of damage. Mistrust has become a prison.

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[kncgjno]

He is right..."you didn't start the proceess but your the one that can end it.." powerful words 🔥

[ttak]

I feel like so many of us are just spending the whole life healing painful wounds that people around us didn’t intend to inflict but happened unfortunately regardless. I appreciate the content by Tim as it gives me hope, but at the same time feeling sad as there are just so many broken souls in this world including myself who wishes to get out of this lifelong battle

[DesiresAttackVirtues]

If Tim made a book for children/YA to help navigate traumatic experiences with his sy/empathetic explanations if would be so world changing. Nothing overtly complicated, but just "you didn't start the process but you can end it" gives so much meaning to those who felt hopeless as children.

[WalkingInNature]

Trust is essential to a healthy, meaningful and satisfying life.

[monacaensam]

I SO wish I could talk to this man. He is someone who could actually /get/ how bad my personal world is. So few therapists truly grok a client.

[robertaturk]

My approach to trust is to assume that everybody has wounds of some kind - unhealthy patterns and to look for them - even if it doesn’t effect me directly. Then think about how I am going to engage with them when they are stuck. Also I have developed the terms of what it takes to be in relationship with me. If they don’t meet my standards I choose not to be in relationship with them.
I sent someone an information text. She did drama Queen put down response. I said that was not acceptable to me. She said she was free to talk anyway she wanted to. I said yes, but not with me.

So anticipate people have stuff, be prepared to work it out (each person has a 50% vote) or move on.

Work it out with the goal to understand each other better.

[dreamstateshealing]

This is so accurate it had me in tears and I’ve been in recovery and with a therapist for a decade. Thank you.

[rookkun]

The commitment to truth and healthiness was so important for me to hear. Thank you

[kiwicatnip]

Tim I have so much respect for you. Your videos stand out in a big way bc you make it a point to represent every situation. Not just the “obviously” traumatic experiences. The people with less obvious or blatant trauma(psychological or emotional, narcissistic, non-physical) often live a life feeling invisible and unseen but still struggling with severe psychological and physical symptoms not knowing wtf caused them. Often being undermined or dismissed by people who have experienced more overt trauma. Thank you for representing everybody.

[GiftsAmimalsGiveUs]

This was really great it's sad because most of everything on this video I experience.
I love the "You didn't start this process but your the one that can end it."
It is so hard to see a light at the end of so many tunnels.

[Car-dash-Ian]

Oh no Tim have you been spying on my family for the 50 plus years!! This makes so much sense to me at 60 years of age

[michellebechard]

You are a godsend, thank you so much!

[lillian]

I've just realised how much this resonates with me. And the only parent i can think of that did that to me is my mother. Its painfully obvious my mother didn't love me growing up because of how differently she treats my son;being affectionate, patient, favouring him over the other grandkids, etc. She routinely picks up my son every week to spend the weekends with him even though they live 40+ mins away from my place. It's hard to see how differently she treats my son compared to how she treated me because i never got a glimpse of her loving, motherly side ever. And she used to say that my son looked more like his father rather than me which makes me believe that she still doesn't think im good enough and is grateful my son looks like his handsome, light-skinned dad.

[lillian]

I feel so exposed and weirdly ashamed that, that is actually who i am.

[mariajuliapilz]

The worst part is not knowing how to be different...

[rosaferreira]

Thank u so much for all this content. You are the only one on u tube that has this type of content. All this makes sense I thought I was wacko and I didn't know why, comes from childhood.. couldn't be more true..God bless

[cindyloukingdom]

This was amazing!!! This is a present concern but I didn’t understand all of the components. You did an excellent job of explaining all of this. Thank you so very much!

[carrietoponce-moore]

Hello Tim, I think you’re an outstanding Teacher!! I really appreciate your calm demeanor, knowledge and thoroughness of subjects you share on. 💓

[jilross]

Most folks will not wait for months or years until you trust them. I would not either

[thegreenwoodelf]

You can only be betrayed by someone you trust