10 Steps For Fostering Authentic Self-Esteem

Timestamps:
5:10 Step 1: Find a way to feel confident in your own skin
8:10 Step 2: Face your suffering head-on instead of avoiding it
10:15 Step 3: Set intrinsically meaningful goals and complete them
12:51 Step 4: When you mess up, take the time to deeply understand why
16:19 Step 5: Stop waiting to be saved from your circumstances
18:37 Step 6: Tell the full truth to yourself and other people
21:00 Step 7: Focus more on what you give than what you get
25:03 Step 8: Stay humble by remembering that you are going to die
27:29 Step 9: Opt out of the 'I'll be good enough when' game
29:37 Step 10: Keep your focus on what's within your control

[jackwednesday]

I’m a psychotherapist in the UK, I genuinely think this woman is the best and most authentic YouTube psychologist around. Every video is absolutely excellent. Thank you Heidi 😊

[antwuntrademark]

1.) Become attractive by your own standards
2.) Integrate pain into your identity. Don't dissociate from it
3.) Get outside and do something you love. Foster relationships with the people you're in alinement
4.) When you make a mistake, take the time to understand yourself deeply without judgement
5.) Stop waiting for anyone to come and save you
6.) Start telling the truth as often as humanly possible, with yourself and with others
7.) Focus WAY LESS on what you want to take from the world and WAY MORE on what you wanna give to the world
8.) Remember that you're gonna die
9.) Stop crapfitting. Stop tryna be who others want you to be. Know what you want, genuinely. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
10.) Only focus on what you can control, right here and right now.

[emmathomas]

i literally can’t get over how profound every single one videos of yours i’ve seen feels to me. you are an anchor in my healing journey and i aspire to be able to navigate my psyche they way you do and use it to heal. everyday i’m building new layers of awareness and excavating deeper and deeper into what i hide from myself. your discussions on limerence and disassociation have radically changed my life. i’ve realized that i have been living in disillusionment because i’ve been shaping my reality based on my expectations, but instead i need to shape my expectations based on my reality.

[ayuminor]

"I like to do a death-meditation every day" Is my new favourite out-of-context quote.

[mpozad]

From Self-esteem pioneer, Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
1. Living Consciously
2. Self-Acceptance
3. Self-Responsibility
4. Self-Assertiveness
5. Living Purposely
6. Personal Integrity

[hannahbush]

When you said, “Stop waiting for someone to save you.” I literally started crying and thought of my dad. The fact that he’s never going to come and meet this unmet need I’ve lived with my whole life. But it’s a fact that I need to accept to finally heal. Thank you.

[goddessk]

#2 is so me I go straight to my phone when I feel an emotion and don't confront the actual situation or person.

[anndia.]

I am a giver and burned out and became resentful because of lack of boundaries. I love the point regarding giving but also be mindful of your boundaries and what you are capable of giving.

[fwrzzpu]

1. Body positivity ( protect your inner child)
2. Face challenges head on. Work through conflict. Sit with the pain and don’t numb it
3. Pick meaningful goals.
4. Take the time to understand yourself when something happens
5. Stop waiting to be saved by others. Create your own dream life and save yourself
6. Tell the truth to yourself and others
7. Focus on what you want to give back instead of taking. Give back to the community and friends.
8. Keep yourself humble. Be aware that you will die! Accept death and use it as motivation.
9. Stop comparing yourself with others. Say yes to what matters to us
10. Focus on what you can control!

[camhouston]

Ms. Heidi, I don’t often leave comments on peoples’ channels, but I’m compelled to share with you how impactful your videos are to me. I think it’s important to share since community matters to you. Please know, with all sincerity you are greatly impacting your community for the better. And I hope knowing this inspires you to keep going! I greatly appreciate you. 😊

[carneades]

Putting this on my computer desktop right now:

If you can become the person who shows up and saves you from your own circumstances the way you have been waiting for someone or something else to do, think of how much you would love yourself. Right? Think of how much respect and awe and admiration you would have for yourself.

[baxtertheboss]

Your videos have been instrumental in my development into a happy and healthy human.

🙏 THANK 🙏

[beneveritt]

wow, at the part of the video where she said, 'face your fears head on, stop opening 50 tabs on your phone and actually tend to the problem where you have to be vulnerable, or risk the fear of failure, I immediately opened a tab to buy a minimalist phone. As if that is going to solve my life haha. Time to watch till the end of the video.

[ellenh]

"It came out in the 70's. Or the 90's. I could totally be making that up"
ENFP

[themadness]

On step 10, as a non-believer I've always appreciated the serenity prayer:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference"

[sydneyvictoria]

I'm proud of everyone who watched this video and taking steps to better themselves. You got this everyone 🤗💕

[victtayl]

I heard recently another good explanation of self-esteem: “the ability to tolerate the widest spectrum of different emotions” - which a lot of it all comes down to

[zunetrav]

Heidi, I hope you see this comment.

I’ve been on YouTube since 2009 and this might be the most impactful video I’ve ever watched.

There were so many times that I had to pause the video and just take in what you said. I sat down with a note pad and took notes for each step. I finally can say that I have an actionable plan to truly make positive changes in my life.

Over the next week I’m going to spend a morning thinking through each step in depth.

Thank you.

[dharmicvisions]

WOW! Can I just take a moment to say that, I have spent most of my days for the last 7 years listening to psychologists, shadow work coaches, self help leaders, audiobooks upon podcasts upon YouTube videos...

And the echo chamber became really apparent.

You are hitting notes that a lot of other people seem to be missing, and it is SO APPRECIATED!! This is only the second video of yours I've seen but my mind and heart have been overloaded with "Aha!" Moments. 🎉🙏 thank you so much for being a voice in this movement!

[cookies]

my parent literally bullied me, and I still "bully" myself when I make mistakes.