Inferior Extroverted Sensing (Se) is Weird

Random thoughts on having Se Inferior as an INTJ.

Want to support the channel? Here are a few ways how!

1. The easiest way is to Like, Comment, & Subscribe to the channel and videos.

[annahannabanana]

me when I use Se:
Ni: ok, here's why we're doing the Se thing, don't lose sight of the big picture or regret any actions.
Fi: here's how doing this Se aligns with my values, so don't do something we really don't want to!
Te: and here are our entry and exit strategies so we don't lose track of time in Se, follow the system.
Se: chill, everyone, I just want to fall into the grip hehe.

[Heropt]

I feel the same way. It’s like you can only “binge” Se activities outside of solo Se activities like working out where you can still engage Ni.

[AnnieTyzak]

SO true! I have two speeds for Se: No or 😂

[labben]

I zone out a lot, and I never notice things that others feel I should have noticed. Not knowing if I’ve used shampoo yet is very common, also zoning out when driving. Zoning out in conversations is the worst, having to follow it knowing that I missed a big chunk and pretending I didn’t. My Se wants me to do new things regularly, but no matter how much fun I can have playing games with friends, climbing or working out or other active pursuits, I’m always pulled towards the couch or my garden chair or somewhere I can read my books and play out whatever scenario I’m interested in, in my head. I always wondered why doing things was so difficult for me in comparison to others. I love being in nature, I love hanging with a few close friends, I love working with people trying to see how things can be better and more efficient, but my primary state is incredibly passive. Even though I love all the things I listed above, I need to force myself to do them. Cause Ni just wants to be still and play out exciting scenarios.

[apushman]

There's been many times where I would go do something at like noon or 1pm and I am already thinking, "There goes my day, I won't get home until 7-8pm and the day is gone. I really can't do anything before and this event is in the middle of the day. Why?" I don't really drink or go out and drink that much anymore cause my default thinking is, "I have things to do and I don't want to be bogged down with a hangover or not have the energy". This explains in simple terms to non INTJs the issues we go thru even if we create them.

I do like going to sport games or concerts, but I have to mentally prepare myself for dealing with the people in the crowds. Its not that I get anxiety or panic attacks, its I don't want to deal with the random a-holes out there. There's also the factor of getting to the game, parking and tailgating, being at the game, planning when to leave, dealing with traffic to get home, and then unwinding once at home. It becomes an all day affair. If I watch it at home or at a bar, I can do things all the way up to the start of the game, take a break away from the game, and be able to do something else right after or near the end of the game without having any wasted time.

[stevemcgee]

The autistic crowd talks about “spoons”. How they only have so many spoonfuls to be able to handle things, then they are out. And it takes time to refill again before they can handle more.

[lisaoutinen]

INFJ here, I hadn’t really thought of it before but yes this all sounds about right. Often engaging Se feels like a waste of time. I am learning the importance of doing it though. Great video.

[light]

I'm am HSP INFJ. I gotta tell you the only place with lots of people I feel good at are concerts. I've gotten dizzy even in big crowded malls.

Ohhh, I do zone out, too, when I do seemingly Se things, yeah. So far I've noticed I do it, but didn't realize it fully until you said it now. It's like I'm there doing the thing, but I'm not actually there.

As for Fe and Te at social gatherings, I often don't want to be there, unless it's full of intutives 😂 And when it's not, I rarely ask questions because I'm actually interested. It's usually too deflect attention from myself and not look weird at the same time. I'd always prefer one-on-ones ❤

A day without new info and a new insight or a new perspective on sth important is quite a waste. Although I do like ticking off tasks and seeing a tangible result of what Ni and Ti do and I like lists and summaries that I can go to for reminders.

Thanks for the video! These ones feel like home ❤

[christianmoulart]

Thanks for this video, it opens up new perspectives that are rarely discussed in the MBTI community. I found the distinction between being 'low on SE' and anxiety really interesting. Could you, when you have time, dive deeper into the signs and differences between the two? Thanks in advance!

Secondly, I really identify with what you said about INTJs and SE pushing us to crave the same experience repeatedly, whether it’s drugs, alcohol, or pleasure – it’s often all or nothing. But I’ve also noticed that, afterward, when NI hits us with that guilt trip, I/we can suddenly quit those sensory activities cold turkey. For example, we might suddenly eat only once a day, stop drinking alcohol entirely, or never engage in a sensory activity again if we see it as morally 'wrong' in our eyes. Have you experienced this too?

[lawesstt]

So, I do understand. As an INTJ female and I've wrote this many times to make it short and to the point, but that didn't work. The highs are real, but it depends on the situation. I recall having lots of fun at parties that involved dancing and the music was good. When there's a holiday party involving that or if it's with a person that I enjoy her company, then it's a weird dopamine hit. I want more. The sad thing is, if other future events or interactions are not similar then I don't care to make the time. I regret going to those events or hanging out with the person because I feel it's time I won't get back.
I remember someone saying that I was shy and that's why I didn't talk. I explained that wasn't the case. I'm not afraid to talk. I just don't know what to ask about. I talk about work all day. Why would I want togo too dinner with work friends to talk about more work??? My husband would say to go talk to the other wives, and i ask him what the conversation would be about. The wives talk about shopping. I have no idea what they're talking about and I wouldn't spend that much on shoes or clothing. As a result, if I observe how superficial the conversation is then I remained quiet and I go somewhere mentally. I still respond with "that's nice".

[jayjayvah]

6:20 I know you said you don’t think it’s Te, but as an ENTJ with an INFJ friend, I sometimes worry I am wasting my time when engaging in Se moments as well, as compared to my Ni dom friend who’s glad she’s creating memories and never feels any guilt as mentioned; She’s not necessarily concerned she’s wasting time. But I am, because I worry about being unproductive. But this is only sometimes, since I do value creating memories. So personally to me I think it’s your aux Te.

[gauntlettolife]

Brilliant description! Love the t shirt ( I would put "save water, drink Adam's ale" 😂
It's interesting what you say about Autism. I was assessed for Aspergers 13 years ago ( I don't like the term "diagnosing" as neurodiversity is NOT a disease. )
As an INTJ female and ND neurodiversity ) element, I can completely relate to what you are saying. We are all made up of so many layers. Cultural, family origin, upbring, nurturing, nature, environment, education and personality, interests, neurology, and so much more.
I personally am really happy to be the .8% of rare female INTJ ( Please don't crucify me. Statisticians ), but I am aware that ND makes its appearance in my day, especially in the sensory and social arena. There's a really great YouTube creator, which I will link, and I'd encourage you to check out his content. He specialises in EQ and is Autistic, I find his presentations very insightful and practical.
Love your content and your sense of humour 🤣

[RaidenShogun..]

I recommend when you do Se, you also make sure you do Te, and also focus on a task to be completed! I not only go to conventions for the fun, I also make sure I work on what I want to accomplish like doing photoshoots to gain more followers, because Te wants that!

[meganwoods-ck]

The come down! Yes. Best explanation of the struggle of SE.

[macronomicus]

For me (INFJ-A) it depends on how im feeling at the moment, if im authentically engaged, its all good, otherwise not so much, most often its because I've got other things I'd rather be doing, or the environment/people are not engaging enough for me. Remember though, dont feel too bad about the "inferior" function, its actually quite developed in comparison to things way further down the stack.

[CoachKiara]

This is why I pretty much don’t drink any more 😅 this video is great Jon. So on point 👌🏻

[aufderscholle]

I fully get you on that „wasting my time“. Even if you argue I should have an easier time as an INFJ connecting along with other people’s notion of a good time. I personally get often upset after going out with other people realizing that I have wasted my time doing useless stuff, that did not get me anywhere (whatever this is). The best times are the ones where I am in tune with the people around me and I get the complicated stuff across that constitutes my inner world. Flow to me means seeing my Ni unfolding in real time. If the real time activities contradict my insights I tend to feel like I am on the wrong track and should be looking for a way out.

The best remedy to me to get rid of that “wasting my time feeling”  is looking for the right people and places to connect with rather than to just withdraw into my Ni-world.

[BakaSama]

Infj here. I'm loving ur content so much that I've been watching it for the past 3 days constantly, n that's when I discovered U. I just love how U talk abt all of these things regarding mbti, intj and all. And it's so easy to understand too as I'm sort of trying to get into the cognitive functions. So I just want to express my thanks to U. Rly. It's been a great help and it's fun too all the while. Rly love it ♡♡

[Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

The 4th is both fear & aspirational (love/hate as you said it well)
We are all uniques and we have different Se preferences related to our Fi Ni.

_I have to make sure that the Se I engage it, serve my Ni, Te, or Fi - to be fulfilled/happy/satisfied
_There is the unhealthy/immature side of Se, and the healthy/mature side. (I reserve that for future video)
_Maybe the part of us who say "I wasted my time & energy" it's surely because that thing/experience was not aligned with our self (Ni Te & Fi)
I had this feeling too. Maybe it's our "Super Ego" (the internalized parent in our mind criticizing us), that we have to shut-up, be kind with ourselves,
it's ok to enjoy Se, sometimes I want Ni to stop (maybe we may have fed-up to use our dominant function and need recharge it too) - It would be boring, if we were only Ni Te.

For the ones who don't like concerts or party, it's because of our neurological conditions (autistic/asperger/gifted, we may be hypersensitive to certains noises, lights...), and too mature/wise or smart for the parties. Also too much Se shut down our Ni, and we can't function/think correctly.
I love metal concerts when their instruments are well tuned, it heals.

In my 20's, many times I regretted to have been to parties, be outside, go restaurants (waste of time, energy, money, health, I haven't enjoyed it)
I wished I could have been alone, rest or do something I really enjoy alone, or more productive.

[josefinecarlsgart]

Pretty accurate: Inferior Se is often presented as Sensory Processing Sensitivity, and it's a well described temperamental trait. I, INTJ and Biochemist, dowe into the subject together with my brother, INFJ and Educational Psykologist, in order to understand the mechanisms behind it. Knowing that it's an actual brain wirering phenomena, makes it a bit more relatable to types who to no possess this trait.