INTJ/INFJ: What it's like to have Repressed Extroverted Sensing

Repressed extroverted sensing can cause a disconnect in the Ni dominant types. Here is what I know about it and how I experience it.
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[overcomer]

I wonder if this is also why I don't cry immediately when I hear that someone I loved has died?? I never cry "on the spot", never, because I haven't taken it in yet. It's like I haven't felt the realness of it yet. I haven't ever been able to understand how people cry immediately after a break-up, or upon the news that someone close died, or at typically emotional times such as being proposed to, when they have had zero time to process it. I never cry until a handful of days or weeks later.

[elizabethhayden]

"You might catch them doing this in a conversation when you've sparked their interest. " Completely right! I caught myself staring off into space when someone was telling me a story and got worried that they might've thought i wasn't listening, but i was actually carefully processing what they were saying in my head.

[Enoc]

So this is why I’m over eating every time I feel like a failure, then when it really hits hard I do the opposite and not eat at all

[jlinus]

My face actually became a meme at uni because I have a resting 'depressed face'

[mjr]

INTJ female here. Never heard Se explained so clearly. I always wondered how Se appears to others. Thank you!

[julianaschreyer]

I’m INFJ and my repressed Se is more like not paying bills on time, or holding off on laundry, or taking my car to get an oil change😂
It all bites me in the ass eventually.
The older I get the better I get at remembering I am programmed to be like this. Things are easier but still a struggle.

[DrVein]

Se is why I know I can't step foot in a casino.

[clairaragon]

Thank you for this. I am an INTJ female. Ive never heard Se described so clearly. My biggest issue is that I can never look at people in the eyes, and yes, I have the thousand yard stare like the rest of them do. I never had to deal with overeating because I never get hungry. I think eating waste time. My over-indulgant to relieve stress was always sex. It ruined every relationship I had because Im so spacey, and the one track mind thing... I never wanted to get to know them; I just wanted to have sex with them. Once I noticed the problem, I cut ties with everyone. Ive been alone for a year now, and honestly am much happier.

[celtic]

When you want to eat a lot, try drinking some salt water. When we're stressed we go through salt faster. When we crave junk food sometimes we are just craving salt.

[gins]

My sister seemed astonished once because although conversation in our group shifted to another topic, as soon as I had an opening, I finished what I was originally talking about. I thought it was obsessive compulsive behavior although I do not have OCD. I have never understood this tendency before. I only recently learned about MBTI types and test out as INFJ. Since exploring blogs and vlogs I almost feel like I have finally found people from my planet.

[Jenesis]

I am currently obsessed with watercoloring. I’ve spent weeks finding out what it’s about and delved into products and technique. I am not even good at drawing but I am in a watercolor rabbit hole. I am ignoring my job to devote all my time, mind, and money into it. The same cycle had been to jewelry making, knitting, card making, hiking, yoga,

[daisylael]

Wrong: when staring off into space we are actually brooding and planning our soliloquy for our arch-nemesis, something about how we are really "two sides of the same coin", or "aren't so different you and I", etc....


But really, this made me smile, because as an INFJ type this made so much sense. I also think this may be the root of some miscommunication between me and the EN-types in my life recently. And the binging explanation makes so much sense!! Thank you!

[pablogh]

INTJ here
I always like to eat or drink something sweet in the afternoon and at night, but I am very strict with what I eat: I don't like to drink alcohol, I don't drink coffee, I don't smoke, I don't like many sweet things, instead I'm very scandalous
It is illogical and irrational to do or consent to something that hurts or hurts me in the future

[sandrad]

Really good info and insight. My husband is an INTJ and I'm an ENFP. I've always loved the death stare (I call it Spock mode), because it always produces something interesting. And as an ENFP, there's nothing I love more than a new, interesting concept. It also often produces the solution to a problem, and as an extroverted thinker, I like that too because we like to get things accomplished. I'm telling you, the INTJ/ENFP match is a brilliant one.

[sablewings]

INTJ T Female here. That explanation for repressed Se was very helpful in understanding why I look like a space case in conversations when in fact I’m highly interested. As for the Se grip, I had one of those earlier this summer and sexual indulgence was my outlet. I was definitely not myself and it cost me in self-esteem and relationships with others, leaving me quite confused. INTJs don’t like to be confused so I spent another month trying to figure out what the hell was going on with me so as to prevent this from reoccurring. Analysis: wasn’t happy at either work or home and tried to penny-pinch my way through it all. I went from spending months depraving myself of sensory pleasures and attending therapy only to swing to the other side in a pit of unstable emotions and desperation. I decided to leave the situation altogether and start anew somewhere else from scratch. Never forget, never give up.

Good on you for losing 130 lbs. Your body probably thanks you for it. With food so readily accessible, especially pizza, it’s hard to resist the temptation to indulge. But you’ve got this, dude. Stress doesn’t own you.

[edwardzhou]

Good points, enjoyed how you mentioned were susceptible to addiction, but only for temporary amounts of time. Usually our Ni feels we can reach a greater goal so there’s that double edged sword. I also think that with repressed Se comes with a lack of “celebrating victory’s, even small ones”, as dominant Ni really is future and goal oriented. Which can lead to perfectionism/extremism! ~infj

[smilineyes_melanie]

Wow! I've been studying personality types for 25 years and never figured that out or read it anywhere else. Sooo helpful. Thanks for sharing!! Signed, INFJ

[maryamm]

I have the opposite I under-eat when I’m stressed or after a while of pressure specially after finals and currently when I’m lost into writing I stop eating even if the food is just in front of me

[NoNamedNobody]

Hey Asura, LONG COMMENT AHEAD

INFJ Male here. Fantastic video on attempting to describe as thoroughly and as efficiently as possible what it means to have Dominant Ni & Inferior Se as INJs.

Oftentimes, since I have Ti and not Te AND since my Thinking Function is only in my third slot and not higher like yours is, I can find it extraordinarily difficult to put my abstract thoughts and ideas into actual words in a way that makes it easier to comprehend and understand respectively. ESPECIALLY when it comes to speaking, with writing it's a lot more manageable for obvious reasons.

I was just wondering if you ever planned on making an in-depth analysis between our types at all.

Since most people often know that INJ types are the "most rare" of the 16 types overall. They probably want to know all the main and specific differences between our types respectively. We tend to come off as mysterious, aloof, perspicacious, intense, unpredictable, difficult to get to know, and difficult to truly comprehend without proper input and context (especially straight from the types themselves).

What they may not understand conceptually is that it's our Cognitive Functional Stack (from #1-#8) that actually determine our specific type respectively. Even though we only have a one letter difference in our Type's Initialism (INTJ / INFJ where our T/F attribute is the main observable difference).

INTJ --> 1)Ni 2)Te 3)Fi 4)Se [Ego]
5)Ne 6)Ti 7)Fe 8)Si [ENTP- Shadow]

INFJs --> 1)Ni 2)Fe 3)Ti 4)Se [Ego]
5)Ne 6)Fi 7)Te 8)Si [ENFP-Shadow]

What's interesting to note given the information above is that we INJs have the EXACT SAME Perception Functions in the EXACT SAME slots:

Ex: INTJ/INFJ 1)Ni, 4)Se, 5)Ne, 8)Si

BUT, our Judging/Decision-making Functions are simply INVERTED along the Auxiliary/Tertiary (Aka the Parent/Child axis) axis both in our Ego AND in our Shadow.

Ex) INTJ: 2)Te 3)Fi [Ego]
6)Ti 7)Fe [Shadow]

INFJ: 2)Fe 3)Ti [Ego]
6)Fi 7)Te [Shadow]

The Ego is the "Conscious" / "Aware" part of our mind.

The Shadow is the "Unconscious" / "Unaware" part of our mind. We we feel most uncomfortable when we use our Shadow's Functions as opposed to our Ego's Functions where we often feel most comfortable using them.

A MAJOR giveaway between differentiating between us INJs easily is how we use our Judging Functions both in our Ego & Shadow!

J-Fuctions: INTJ-Ego | INFJ-Shadow

Te --> Externally Objective; Rationale; Collective-Based T/F Value Judgements; Beliefs; Efficiency; Outcome/Result-Oriented; Organization & Management of the External Environment; Inductive; Status; Reputation; Productivity; Thinking "Out Loud".

Ex) "What I Believe."; "What will get this goal/outcome accomplished most efficiently?"; "Is this rational?" ; "How will others think about this?" ; "Will this decision accomplish what outcome I want?"; "Will this hurt my status or reputation at all?"; "Why do others believe/think this?", etc.

Fi --> Internally Subjective; Morals; Morality; Individual-Based Good/Bad Value Judgements; Sympathy; Sympathetic; Sense of Self-Worth; Esteem; Internalized;

Ex) "How I Feel". "Is this Good/Bad to/for me?" "Do I feel good about this?" "How would I personally feel in this given situation?" "Why is this moral or value good/bad for me?"

Note: Fi and Te are "linked" to each other / on an axis one another. As in INTJs for example, or ISFP.

J-Functions: INFJ-Ego | INTJ-Shadow

Fe --> Externally Objective; Ethics; Ethical Collective-Based Good/Bad Value Judgements; Harmony within the External Environment; Empathy; Empathic; Connection; Able to Feel & Understand Emotions/Values of other Individuals.

Ex) "How do others feel?" "Is this ethical?" "What will achieve the most harmonious/good outcome for everyone in this situation?"; "Why do other people value this?"

Ti --> Internally Subjective; Logic; Truth; Individual-Based T/F Value Judgements; Conceptual; Systematic; Organization & Management within the Internal Framework/Environment; Logical Consistency; Deductive; Result/Outcome-Specific; Step-by-Step;

Ex) "Is this logical?" "Does this make sense to me?"; "Is this factual?"; "What's the logic behind this?"; "Is my internal framework consistent & structured?"; "Is this actually true or false or even unknown?"; "What do I think is true/false?"; "Why is this the case?"

Note: Again, Ti/Fe are "linked" with one another in the same way that Te/Fi is, like for us INFJs or even ISTPs for example. If the J Functions are in the middle 2/3, they are more balanced than if they were in the 1/4 positions. Hopefully this all is making sense.

I'd also strongly recommend anything CS Joesph-Related as far as anything dealing with the MBTI is concerned. He's an ENTP. And stereotypically enough, he's actually currently paradigm-shifting the entire subject itself with his 20+ Seasons/150+ videos worth of Youtube Lectures entirely for free! Extremely in-depth and deeply incredible what he's able to do for all of us by doing so. I doubt you'll find anything topical on what he's talking about as far as academics go, but hey, a little pragmatism here and there never hurt anyone right?

If you view it from a completely pragmatic POV and not necessarily metaphysically (like I personally do with the MBTI in general) and just use it as a framework to help better understanding other people, it is INSANELY useful. The comments section will be proof enough for that for any of the 16 types themselves.

We INJs have a lot similar than at first glance. I have my BS in Psychology from a nationally ranked university with a double minor in Chemistry & Philosophy. So trust me, I know full well if you're skeptical at all about the veracity of this XD

Hope this was helpful! Good luck in school! And keep up the good work! (:

[elianzee]

I'm an INFJ and this was so interesting to watch! Thank you :)