INTJ/INFJ Developing Healthy Extroverted Sensing (Se)

Advice for how to develop Se as an INTJ or INFJ.

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[krdiaz]

"It's important for INTJs to get out of their house."
Government: "Stay home, stay safe!"
INTJ: 😏

[ClayArnall]

I must say I really enjoy hearing an INTJ talk about cognitive functions. So much more researched and concise when presenting info like this.

[annaceliaramirez]

I’m an intj female (20) and growing up I was put into structured dance classes like ballet. I learned valuable skills like being flexible and having rhythm which I appreciate today. However, at a certain point I completely cut off all dance from my life because of how much I despised being around so many people on a daily basis, performing on stage, and learning choreographies. After I left dance, I entered the gym and became obsessed, I went every day for multiple hours a day and even worked out on my own, I also ate extremely structured meals pretending to be ‘healthy’. Now, i’ve figured out that dancing all alone, especially with the lights off, in my own rhythm, really works for me. All I have to monitor is not spending hours dancing and singing and remembering to drink water. I really recommend this care-free way of letting go and also feeling present with your body, the freedom to choose your own music and truly enjoy dancing with nobody watching. Se, is still a difficult thing for me and I suppose it always will but as I grow older I will hopefully learn other things that work for me.

[Sharkuterie]

7:24 It is kind of a paradox how INJ are uncomfortable with mundane routines... and yet can be obsessively concerned with structure for other systems, like meeting career goals, for instance... which can produce overregulated behavior that don't allow INJ to 'be in the moment' because some distant ideal/rigid sequence of expectations are paramount, and often (as Ni goes) unconsciously motivated.... until the INJ crashes and then binges on sensory pleasures, having forgotten themselves for too long. In other words, your points of advice for inferior Se are so true and tie together beautifully for me, Chris! Thank you!

I'd like to emphasize your point that getting outside, going to new places, and/or travelling is definitely what has helped me the most... helps to let go of unhealthy expectations, inspires new ideas, increases energy, improves physical health and well being, and all around is a good idea for every type, honestly. Just don't fall into a trap of over-planning in order to feel control in unfamiliar territory... it is about letting go of control, at least in small ways.

[DanceMotherSuperior]

Why, oh, why does the physical world require so much maintenance? It really is so boring and it interrupts the fun things I want to focus on! ;)

[HelenThomasCreativeHealer]

As an INFJ I definitely study things more than take action. The study is nearly always helpful but I get to a point where I've learned enough and need to actually 'do stuff'. Good example, I spend a huge amount of time studying gut health and due to having an autoimmune illness, the research has helped immensely, however.... I realised that sometimes I go into the topic so deeply it has a negative impact on my health. I can spend hours sitting with my laptop without moving. This is very detrimental to gut health! So, just yesterday I decided, I've learned enough now and that the more I learn, the more confused I get with conflicting information, so I'm going to focus on putting into practice what I have learned. It was a big light bulb moment and I could easily have carried on with what feels like an addiction to 'there's still more to understand about this and I'd better keep going otherwise I might miss an important piece of the puzzle/jigsaw/problem'.

It's very challenging for us INXJs because we live in the deep inner world of the unconcious, not the outer sensory world. My husband is a Sensor and is completely the opposite of me. If I said to him start thinking really deeply about things, he'd find it impossible! His go to is 'doing stuff' he finds it hard not to.

[ezvqfdt]

I put off taking my body so much. I naturally don't have a strong connection with my internal body cues, e.g. hunger unless I'm starving. I don't even really enjoy eating as much as the average person, from what I can tell. I just view as something I do. Same thing with hygiene. If I have the chance to put it off, I will. But every time I take a shower after a while, I realize how refreshed I feel physically and mentally. As soon as I'm in the shower, I realize what I've been missing and start to enjoy the process. But it never quite hits me until I'm in the midst of it. And maybe that's the whole lesson for engaging and becoming more conscious of Se: you need to force yourself into environments that stimulate Se because you will never have a natural inclination toward it.

[CliffGaribay]

Meditation and mindfulness exercises are great since you don't even need to leave the house. Whenever my mind revs up too much, I'll take 5 minutes to sit on a chair, facing a blank wall, and do a full body scan meditation. It's incredibly hard at first but super helpful in the long run. It's also way healthier than using some external stimuli to ground yourself.

[Binyamin.Tsadik]

Very good advise for repressed Se.
I've found it's also about accepting that reality doesn't always match the Ni. Prioritizing and accepting objective reality and giving up on the stubbornness of Ni.
Much easier said than done of course...

[terebiomimasu]

3:45 "...gain introverted intuition perception insight from engaging with things in the outer world and if they don't allow themselves to have new extraverted sensing experiences then they won't be able to have new introverted intuition perceptions as well."

Great video. This was my favorite part.

[samuel.t.basilio]

A good Se that I've found is rock climbing, specifically indoor bouldering. While it's not feasible during the pandemic, I feel most INxJ's will find rock climbing fun since it's problem solving and pushing your physical body. It's funny how I see people struggle with a problem in a certain way but I intuitively find another route that many would not have seen but it "felt" right when I discovered it without really knowing how haha

[karolina]

I'm 18-year-old INTJ, I'm struggling with a lot of things which seem to be easy for the others with the same age, but your videos help me so much, so I would like to thank you for your great words! I do my best to take your advices :)

[skipdavis]

58 year old intj checking in here. i agree with everything you said. my ways of Se'ing are: i love touring motorcycling. i've ridden bmw motorcycles most of my adult life, often with a small group of friends.

sometimes i throw some rifles in the back of the truck and go deep into a forest offroad, here in the rural pacific northwest. i love the scenery, the rivers, the huge trees, the smell of the fir trees and douglas firs, etc. i love the idea of exploring the wilderness, and it's very quiet, which i like a lot. thankfully, i have an amazing sense of direction, so that helps reduce any anxiety about that. i know i can count on myself. hiking over the rough terrain to targets, etc, is also very stimulating, and i love it. i jump the truck around a little, but not so much anymore. i did that a lot in my 30's and 40's though.

now that i'm old, i ride an ebike (so i'm sure i'll get home), and get some exercise. i have panniers and a front rack so i can carry groceries home and run errands on it, cuz i'm practical that way, lol!

[abadi]

One of the ways that helped me improving Se is focusing on resistance training 6 days a week and focusing on near perfect form on every set and rep, it really did help me alot, and it made me look better, i know this might sound shallow but its the truth, i think Se inferior types really care about how they look, and the gym will be the best solution, i even get mistyped as ESFP after my transformation from 450 pounds to 173 pounds 12% body fat, i have to mention that it suck going to the gym almost every day, and its draining like hell, but i think it's nessesry for self improvement.

[gemmarium]

I’m really struggling with dating due to my very low functioning extroverted sensing. Just scrolling through the dating apps and messaging people gives me so much anxiety. Going on first dates makes me a nervous wreck. I’m really trying. But it feels so unnatural and causes my body physical stress. My friends are casual and fun with dating (as it should be!) and I’m so jealous of that!!

[The-Labbed-Life]

As an INTJ, I realized I changed a lot thanks to my close friend who is ESFP. I learned many things from her since Se is her dominant function. Thanks to her, I discovered Brazilian jiujitsu. At first, I was reluctant to even try but she really believed I would love it with my way of thinking.
I ended trying and loved it instantly. I think doing jiujitsu is the best thing that ever happened to me, it's like a human game of chess and I need to use my brain constantly to be able to win. It's also the only time where I really feel in the present moment.

[acquadiamore]

This is one of the hardest damn things.

[VilkanVisions]

I'm an INFJ and I'm a dancer (breaking), I was taking part in tournaments for years but that was not for me, a lot of noise and people for too much time, now I'm just training for my self and It's much better.

[anomalien]

OMG! That's why I feel immense energy, motivation, happiness and creative will after I take a walk! Holy shit, that's because I engaged in Se stimuluses and it boosted my Ni insights! I need to take this walks a lot more and explore unknown territories of the entire city. I'm starting to love Se so much! 🥳🥳🥳

[Swoldridge]

I always feel like an outcast with other INTJs. Most of my family are S types. I grew up playing sports and boxing from very young. Learned to play and make music in an orchestral band and marching band. Also moved a lot. My extraverted sensing was developed a lot early on.