Why Narcissists HAVE to Pick Fights With You!

There are MANY reasons a narcissist wants to argue with you. Sparrow goes over the big ones. It's a sick cycle and one you are most likely well aware of at this point. Narcissists LOVE to argue and they LOVE to drain your energy in the process. Not much brings them more joy than ruining your day.

Sparrow Spaulding, MS MC is an award-winning author, retired therapist, trauma recovery specialist, and trauma survivor. Her latest book, Uncaged, is a groundbreaking book on trauma recovery. It is a step-by-step manual to guide you through the process of healing for those who are ready to break the chains of trauma and truly become Uncaged! Link below for more info.

[reneeantoniou]

All great points. They fall asleep while you’re in tears. They feel good when you don’t. And so so jealous!

[cinemaunitestheworld]

Envy. Total envy from a family member.

[patrickkennedy]

So so true . My covert narc, wife, used to pick fights at least every 3 days, during the discard phase . I always thought it was my fault until I found the help and info from YouTube clips, like this one . One particular time we sat and chatted and I got emotional, the next fight, she initiated, ended by her saying " I thought we were getting somewhere, what with all the tears the other day ! " .
I managed to get a really good contract at work and she wasn't interested .
Another time I bought a second hand bike from a mate . She told me she always wanted a bike and I was selfish for buying this one . Obviously I felt bad about it so I bought her a new bike, it's been in the shed with flat tyres ever since, never properly been on it . ! .
The mental abuse is very damaging, not to mention the couple of physical attacks .
I've only just realised you can't change them, just leave and rebuild yourself. As hard as that is .
Learn and move on .

[Imnotyourdoormat]

Why Electric Eels HAVE to ... *_shock_** you.*

[TestTheSpiritsIfTheyAreOfYAH]

It’s demonic really 🤮 I used to be like that negative and hated most all things and everything seek one true only living God be right with Him be changed by Him be protected by Him be saved before it’s too late.

[Cacalotlraven]

I fall asleep with my little ones by accident when I put them to bed. Narc kicks me in the morning when I accidentally sleep in. Instead of being able to depend on them they point out I’m irresponsible. I stay up late cleaning the home washing dishes doing loads of laundry every night. I get four to five hours of sleep. But being exhausted doesn’t compare to theirs.

[katdid]

I’m guilty of saying both things about the gym .. “must be nice” and “reasons for working out to attract attn” now this could make me question if I’m narcissistic.. 🧐 then I remember .. he was working out along with never being home, always “helping” his friends, working, selling drugs, drinking .. while I’m home with two toddlers .. so yeah “must have been nice” to have time to work out and then when I finally started working on my body he said “ it was just a phase” and never acknowledged how I looked, and any opportunity he had to take his shirt off In public .. he would .. soooo 👀🤷‍♀️

[AJBates]

Yes they are addicted to negative cut downs and you explain it so well !

[ATeitter]

Mine called the other day to pick a fight after no contact for over a year. I blocked his new number and then he called from another one to continue the fight and I blocked that too. I really hope this doesn't continue

[Cacalotlraven]

“Forgetting to turn on the washer” and I’m in hell for forgetting.

[Cacalotlraven]

Accountability I’m constantly reminded…that I apparently don’t or that I make excuses for everything. It’s so hard.

[Angela-Ruby]

My ex boyfriend was a narcissist who abused me for three years. It was horrible. I was halfway across the country and couldn’t leave.

[sidharthchand]

The only way to deal with a narcissist is to speak up for yourself and create distance

[anthonyhall]

Wow holy shiznit, and i thought it was me, thank you

[jerryhayden]

It took me a few years to put together most of the reasons of deep-seated hurt but I finally began to realize I married a covert as you say, narcissist and I'm here to honestly tell the truth, after enough sometimes explosive outburst of anger & control issues my deep-seated baggage was rising from the ashes. Area's that I thought I'd forgiven someone from their mistakes were being uncovered and I realized I also need to do some work on myself which I won't deny. We cancelled a 1st time marriage counseling session & I haven't rescheduled yet because the wifey doesn't seem interested & is super busy totally consumed with computer games that have scheduled times each day that have to be met & then there are competition's. She works this gaming thing way harder than most people work a good paying job. Then all of the fantasy tv shows. There's no time to better ourselves. If we do anything I have to join her in her world & I better not complain any or her nasty anger issue blow's through the surface & she begins hurling any and all factual & fictional faults & male human imperfections at me...🥵 sorry. I digress. Anyway, oh yeah, I've unfortunately learned what a narcissist Is even though she was the nicest girl in our 8th grade class which she told me I just didn't know her. Fortunately people love her. I'm determined to help her, us, to improve the quality of our lives especially since our marriage has gone downhill so bad over the years. I began counseling sessions myself as I realized as I stated I had areas I must tend to. She's always gone to counseling. Pray for us. I'm not giving up! Sorry for the spill.

[sushmasinha]

They pick fights because they think they are better than me 😢

[TonyaShadden]

🤔🤯...my life right now at 54 years old in a 22 year relationship

[anthonyhall]

That made me cry a little bit, thanks

[ZiggyPlayedGuitar]

You lost me at bpd. I have it. I've been seeing my therapist for 5 years. I went to DBT twice and still have my notes and handouts. I also have books and workbooks. BPD is an emotional disregulation disorder. My therapist explains it as being emotional burn victims. Abuse and trauma are usually the cause but no one really knows because it was only just discovered in 1980. Please stop spreading misinformation and stop encouraging the stigma.