Why People with Narcissistic Abuse Have Hoarding Behavior

Why People with Narcissistic Abuse Have Hoarding Behavior.
In this video, we explore why people who have experienced narcissistic abuse often develop hoarding behavior. Narcissistic abuse can cause deep emotional wounds, leading individuals to hold onto items as a way to feel safe and secure. We will break down the psychological reasons behind this behavior in simple and easy-to-understand terms.

Narcissistic abuse can leave victims feeling powerless and lacking control over their lives. Hoarding becomes a coping mechanism, a way to reclaim a sense of control and stability. By understanding this connection, we can begin to see why people hold onto things and how this behavior helps them cope with their past trauma.

If you or someone you know is dealing with hoarding due to narcissistic abuse, this video will offer valuable insights and practical advice. Learn more about the emotional roots of hoarding and discover ways to support healing and recovery. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more content on mental health and personal growth.

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Video Time Line
10 REASONS WHY PEOPLE WITH NARCISSISTIC ABUSE HAVE HOARDING BEHAVIOUR 00:01
NUMBER 1 EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO OBJECTS 00:46
NUMBER 2 SENSE OF CONTROL 02:08
NUMBER 3 FEAR OF LOSS 03:18
NUMBER 4 IDENTITY PRESERVATION 04:23
NUMBER 5 AVOIDANCE OF GRIEF AND LOSS 05:22
NUMBER 6 PERCEIVED VALUE IN OBJECTS 06:25
NUMBER 7 DIFFICULTY MAKING DECISIONS 07:53
NUMBER 8 ATTACHMENT TO MEMORIES 08:08
NUMBER 9 COMPENSATION FOR LACK OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT 08:27
NUMBER 10 EXTERNALIZATION OF INTERNAL TURMOIL 08:43
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#spotthenarcissist #narcissism #narcissist
DISCLAIMER:
The information in this video is research-based and for educational purposes. Please consult an authorized professional for guidance and help on your specific case.

[yolandaz]

Thank you for this video!!! Thank you for sharing the truth. As a hoarder myself, personally your information is 100% true🙏💜🙏💜🙏

[amac]

Living with a narcissist you are not allowed to own and enjoy yourself, your own home, your own money and your own belongings.

[joanofarcxxi]

This applies to VICTIMS of abuse, not abusers. My ex mother in law was big hoarder. We had to make a path to get into her house. She didn't like visitors. When she was a young mother, she was abandoned by her alcoholic husband with 4 small children and countless overdue debts. The youngest child was one year old. She had to go to work and leave her children to care for one another. I never understood before why she lived like that, surrounded by piles of stuff she didn't need, and buying more stuff she never would use. But now I understand. She was a really nice lady, with a very kind heart.

[ganymeade]

Trauma is caused by emotional and psychological abuse.

[AndrewJohnson-oyoj]

This is my problem with the whole "decluttering" pop culture. If you push a hoarder to part with the objects of their hoarding without addressing the underlying causes of their hoard, you are just choosing to revictimize a victim by taking away their comfort and by blaming them for their comfort response.

[aprileliana]

I think for me the clutter is a result of my inability to make decisions when my mind is in prison with the chaos and abuse. So I hold on to the things that represent a link to a past I had, and also a future I hope for. It’s a survival instinct. It’s fear, it’s frozen mode.

[raywister]

Also, not having the right to own anything. At any moment, your things can be taken to sell or whatever the narcissist wants to do with it.

[GirlPower]

And I’m going to add # 11: If you never felt truly seen and treasured by the narcissist(s), you hold onto things that are important clues to the real inner you that you’re dying to share with someone, someday. In my case, I saved my childhood art and poetry in the hopes that someday I’d have someone who’d care enough to want to know who I used to be and what my inner life was like. I’m not an off the scales hoarder but I do keep accumulating clutter.

If a tree falls in the forest with no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? If a child turns a part of themselves into a beautiful painting or poem but there’s no one there to really experience the art and savor it and reflect their appreciation and love and deepened connection back to the child, does the art even exist? Does the child even exist?

For me, the clutter relates in part to imagined future “me’s” and imagined future connections that I don’t want to give up on. So yes, I will hold on to my darkroom equipment I haven’t used in decades and my journals full of angsty teen poetry and my “special occasion” hair clips and my board games collection and my 80s album collection, thank you very much!

Anyone else feel like an unmet need to be truly seen and truly valued is part of hoarding?

[blakeanderson]

not just that, its also a 'shielding' tactic to deflect the narcisist from going through their belongings, room, car, storage

[RakuRadio]

My abusive mother once gave me an old baking tray of hers. I kept it and treasured it for years imagining it was a real sign of her caring about me. Then eventually I woke up and smelt the coffee, and realised she was just offloading it because she didn't need it anymore. This went a long way to helping me cure hoarding.

[leiaclark]

He briefly mentioned difficulty making decisions, for fear of making the wrong choice. This is a conversation that I had countless times with my ex-husband:

Him-hey, let’s go get dinner.
Me-ok.
Him-where do you want to go?
Me-Fridays.
Him- (scowls at me for not guessing what he wants) No, I’m not in the mood for Fridays. Where else do you want to go?
Me-how about Gators?
Him-(scowls again) we just had that. (Just had that could have been a year ago.)
Me- I’m not that picky. Where do you want to go?
Him-(scowls) I asked you.
Me-You’re pickier than I am. I’m good with whatever you decide.
Him-why can’t you just answer a simple question? Pick something!
Me-how about Joe T Garcias?
Him-I don’t want to drive that far.
Me-Lees Grilled Cheese is right around the corner.
Him- I want real food.
Me-did you have something in mind? Really, I’d be happy with whatever you decide.
Him-why do we have to go through this, if you not answering a simple F-ing question?! I hate it when you do this.
Me-I’m sorry. You didn’t like my ideas, so why don’t you pick?
Him-I try to do something nice to you, and now you’re trying to start a fight. I’m hungry and you’ve been wasting time, so now it’s too close to bedtime. You know I hate eating this late. Now I won’t eat and it’s YOUR fault!
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He would constantly undermine my decisions. And choices.

If we did get to a restaurant, he would be tense angry, and hostile the whole way, and a terror behind the wheel. His driving was scary. If I drove, he was constantly critical, and would often shout, startling me. Of course, as soon as we got to the restaurant and we’re in front of other people, he was Mr Nice Guy.

[fattoria_di_bastoni]

Wow! I’ve been living this for decades. My miserable mother was constantly threatening to get rid of my pets (which she didn’t care for), my favorite clothes, toys. She died last year and left me (oldest daughter) out of her obituary and will. I left home at 17 and never asked for anything. Never got in trouble. Two great careers. I retired 2 weeks ago and am going through my stuff and taking boxes to Goodwill. I get it now. Thanks to these sorts of videos and YHWH. 🙏🏼

[jolynngood]

Beginning to believe this is why I have major panic attacks when I even think about clearing out my mess.

[TC-vqyz]

Objects are my memories. Married twice, both husbands either made me throw away my property or felt entitled to throw my things away themselves. However, DON'T touch their things. That's not allowed. Deep scars about this.

[Darren-snki]

I’m a victim of narcissistic abuse and clutter as a form of trauma and childhood trauma

[purplehaze]

I remember not being allowed to have certain items, like books. When I was with a narcissistic abuser for 3 years, he hated the fact that I loved to read whether they were novels (because he found them to be stupid) or current event things. I started hoarding books because it was like a 🖕 to him and it reminded me of something I enjoyed.

[Eniral]

This video hit me today.😢 I think they missed a small piece here, though. Sometimes, what is perceived as hoarding isn't hoarding. it is just clutter that gets out of control. The items around them collected through just raising kids, having multiple jobs, etc. They get overwhelmed and can't get themselves to move on the matter for a lot of the reasons mentioned here in this video. It was certainly a representation of the turmoil I was going through and a secret state of mind.

I know because I've been trapped there previously... not knowing why. I was incredibly embarrassed by the mess and felt powerless to do anything about it. I probably would have refused outside help because 1) how embarrassing is that, and 2) I'd be admitting that I failed and that I lost control. I already couldn't control the abuse... which I didn't know was "abuse"at the time. I was often being told I was a failure. I didn't need one more thing to say that I was. It would just prove the narcissist right. And I was working so hard to hide the abuse and shelter my family.

When we moved, I vowed never to return to that state. I still have a little problem with clutter, but the abuse has subsided. My house is so much better than it was. 😌 I think it's because I've been able to heal some, and I continue to do just that.

[GellaHumbug]

My messy mounds of clutter seemed like a layer of protection against the narc’s unwanted random visits into my personal living space. Only it didn’t actually work! Still, I think the imagined powers of my clutter provided comfort to me that I desperately needed at the time.

[dvez]

Imagine this happening to a child from crib and moving on. Then the very same people (parents) who seriously abused you would say to me that they didn't know where my rage was coming from and why I was an introvert (artist, musician). F---ing clueless m.f's. I still struggle with sadness despite the fact that I'm in a much better place in life but that doesn't erase the painful memories. Sometimes you just have to take the time to shed some tears and then keep it moving.

[katierichardson]

I don’t hoard, but I have clutter. This video helps me understand better the things I do. It’s spot on for many of my feelings. It all makes sense to me now.