How To Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children | Lael Stone | TEDxDocklands

How did your parents respond to you as a child when you were upset?
Can you see the impact of their imprints in your life as an adult?
What is the magic ingredient when raising an emotionally intelligent child?

This talk explores all these questions along with how the lack of emotional literacy in our culture has significant power when it comes to the way we parent. It explores how compassion, empathy and mindfulness have a place in raising children – as well as in our education system. If connection, listening, and heart were at the center of every relationship, how different could our world be?

Working with thousands of families for over 16 years as an educator and counselor, Lael has seen the impact that trauma and disconnection have on a family. As an Aware Parenting Instructor, she facilitates workshops and support groups that empower parents to create connections and stronger relationships with their children. She is also the co-creator and Director of Woodline Primary School which is due to open in 2021 – a school based on emotional wellbeing and connection, set on a magnificent 20-acre farm in the Geelong hinterland in Victoria, Australia.

Lael co-hosts The Aware Parenting Podcast, is a regular contributor to several online publications and is a sought-after public speaker who talks candidly about her experiences and her great passion; helping to create wellness in families through connection and communication.

[krisbf]

I’m adopted and have inherited mental illness from my biological parents but my adopted mom allowed me to process my emotions and no matter how hard it’s ever gotten I’ve always looked for tools to try to make my situation better. I know it’s because of my mom. She saved me.

[advantagelearningacademy]

Brilliant! “Children can’t be what they don’t see.”

[dayoonmom]

To see all those comments here, I feel lucky to have a mom like my mom..

She wasn't really talkative but she always listened to me and carefully dealt with my emotions as I was growing up.

I don't remember exactly what she used to say to me when little, but I remember the feeling I had when I was around her.

Warm, comfortable, relaxed and secured.

I don't remember her screaming or yelling at me at all.

She was always tender, kind and gentle.

I thought every mom is like her.
Apparently, they're not!

I thank Lord to have sent my mom to be my mom.

Amen.
From South Korea

[bluedudha]

Cheers to reparenting ourselves and conscious parenting.

[paranoiahax]

As a dad who is used to listening but trying to fix the problem, this was what I needed to hear. I have to let my kids express themselves without telling them to shush or keep it down or stop crying. Thanks.

[redisveryawesome]

I teach prek. This is the core of my being a preschool teacher. Mental health above the curriculum. Meantal health above the common core. Mental health above alphabets and numbers.

[Lulu-xflt]

Every teacher should have listened to this and incorporated this philosophy into their daily work of educating pupils

[wilbertfrankchaniwa]

As an African Dad and Husband, this video unlocked a lot of how disconnected one can become by Repression and being Strong when one needs to be vulnerable and express..food for thought.

[melissapalencia]

The story of your 10 year old comforting your 5 year old made me cry because that was beautiful!!! 🥺

[alicia_grace]

i’m only 14 but i enjoy watching these videos not only to just be prepared in the future but also since there are a lot of younger kids in my life that i want to be able to properly talk to and set an example for. especially when i see that their own parents tend to neglect these little things, i feel like my perspective as an outsider can help me to be more intuitive with these kids and i find that they usually enjoy my company a lot :) i started watching these kinds of videos after a while ago, when my mom got into an argument with my brother and i and she ended up getting extremely upset with us. instead of talking with us about why we said what we said she sat us down at night and had my grandpa lecture us on how our point was wrong and my mother’s was correct, it ended up in my brother breaking down and crying. i love my mom and i know she does her best, she’s only human but in that moment i realized how childish and whiney she seemed, letting her own anger stop her from properly talking to us. i realized in that moment i didn’t want to be like that with my own future children, i had to console my brother afterwards too and i told him that it wasn’t right of her to blow up on us like that, and he shouldn’t copy her behavior. i’ve seen similar things happen between my moms friends and their children too, i’m guessing it’s a common issue. i can only hope to improve from their mistakes

[girl-gxls]

This was awesome! Best point of it all is “Children can’t be what they can’t see.”

[sarahs]

I thought I was empathetic and compassionate with my children, but it turns out I have a lot to learn. Every parent should watch this video once a week. Thank you for the amazing advice and insight ✌💕

[zanelengubane]

My baby is a year old and I am a 22 year old mom. I was raised by my grandmother who was very strict and shouted a lot. I sometimes find myself reverting to the same way I was raised. I take this talk to heart. I dont want my baby to feel like he cannot tell me how he feels.
Great talk I learnt a lot

[drknow]

This is what I do with my 4 year old. And the only reason I know this is because I had many years of therapy and learned to do this for myself .

[Jess_The_Real_One]

“There is always a reason behind the behavior.” So true! Many think it’s just a bad kid but normally it’s what the kid has experienced. Instead of attacking the kid, dig deeper to see what the real issue is. ❤️

[Beauty.n.Brains]

I want to listen to this every day. This is so powerful!
I'm in my 30s and have only recently started self-healing from a life of emotional neglect. I have 3 children and have not talked much about emotions with them either, simply because I find feelings so hard to deal with. It's time for a change!

[skmonie]

I grew up with old traditional parents. If I made a mistake I was smacked as a child. Also yelled at all the time and had fingers pointed to my face. I grew up so clueless about the world because I never had conversations with my family about anything. I would cry at night as my outlet because if I cried in front of them I would be smacked or told “to get over myself.” It makes me sad that some parents are just so uneducated and oblivious to their actions.

[mrsnelliebee]

Your story about your two daughters brought me into tears! So much compassion, kindness and love! The world will be a better place because we are raising emotionally intelligent children!

[lindseymosby-davis]

This needs more views! One of the most profound TED talks I’ve ever seen!

[eranrabiaakyol]

oh my God, I'm just a uni student, not a mother but love this. I think this is not just for parents but for sisters, brothers, for all people. If we want to connect with people genuinely, this is the way to make it right.