4 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do

If you want to increase your emotional intelligence, try approaching the problem backwards: Instead of trying to improve your emotional intelligence skills, strive to identify and eliminate the habits that are interfering with your natural emotional intelligence in the first place.

⏱ TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Intro

1:12 - 1. Criticizing Others
“Criticism of others is a form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.”
― Fulton J. Sheen

3:25 - 2. Worrying About the Future
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie Ten Boom

5:31 - 3. Ruminating on the Past
“To think too much is a disease.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

7:33 - 4. Maintaining Unrealistic Expectations
“He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.”
― Robert Jordan

10:29 - All You Need to Know

🔓 BECOME A MEMBER

🎥 WANT TO CREATE VIDEOS LIKE THESE?

🎨 FREE ILLUSTRATIONS

🔗 ADDITIONAL LINKS & RESOURCES

👨💻 LET'S CONNECT

[TheArtofImprovement]

⏱ TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Intro

1:12 - 1. Criticizing Others
“Criticism of others is a form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.”
― Fulton J. Sheen

3:25 - 2. Worrying About the Future
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie Ten Boom

5:31 - 3. Ruminating on the Past
“To think too much is a disease.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

7:33 - 4. Maintaining Unrealistic Expectations
“He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.”
― Robert Jordan

10:29 - All You Need to Know

[MagdaleneDivine]

These should be called "ways to get out of your own head and ways to stay out of others heads"

[brenttesterman]

Thank you! I've been coping poorly with a divorce from a 30+ year marriage. I appreciate you and the content immensely! Peace

[travishanson]

That was a pleasant, humbling kick in the nuts.

[ciaratambongco]

"If you want to move on with your life instead of staying stuck in the past, you must accept the past for what it is, including feeling helpless. You must give up the choice to endlessly revisit it. No matter how much it distracts you from your real pain: the pain of helplessness. When in doubt, take action in the present, instead of dwelling on the past."

[MichaelDennis]

This video is basically “Mindfulness 101” and I love it🙏🏼 one of my goals with my channel is to bring mindfulness into the mainstream and this video does exactly that! Keep up the great work🔥

[johnpritchard]

Brilliant video. Absolutely nailed me for sure. I sometimes get swept up into daydreams of vivid clarity involving conflict with another person(s) to the extent that when I come out of the daydream, the body is ful of the fight response and I think "Why am I doing this?". A lot of it is my frustration and lack of assertiveness. Ironic that fear of calm assertiveness leads to denial of another person's value. Mindfulness is the key. Witnessing what's happening in the present instead of being caught up in it. Love this video. It's got me motivated!

[BigHenFor]

Criticism is a tool, and if handled right, can resolve problems but, criticising behaviour rather than people is the best way to use it.

Embrace uncertainty, because within it lie your greatest triumphs and your greatest failures. So, uncertainty contains your greatest joys, and the greatest sources of learning - your mistakes. Learn from them.

Stop trying to make a pig sing "Should" is a word that works best when applied to yourself, and no-one else. Keep up your own standards, and let others keep their own. Either accept them as they are, or leave them be.

[LilChuunosuke]

The unrealistic expectations one hit me hard because I've lived with multiple people who inevitably kicked me out because of this.
Since I'm a child abuse survivor, I've had a couple people give me shelter under the naive assumptions and expectations that the second I found safety, I'd immediately start thriving to the point of either being rich and successful or at least something worth bragging about to others. The more I focused on taking my recovery at a pace I could handle instead of doing what these people wanted to see me do, the more they got angry and tried to control me. Both times, it got to a point that I didn't want to be there anymore, then they kicked me out before I could find somewhere else to stay. One family even admitted to my face that they only took me in because they thought they could control my life and force me down a certain path. They had a strained relationship with their youngest son because they wanted a straight, strong football player with a full college scholarship and he ended up being bi, obese, college dropout, and artistically minded. They stunted his growth by holding this expectation over his head for him to be a person he was never meant to be.
It really can be so damaging to think in that way. I always tell people to be honest with me and tell them if I'm doing something like that because I'd hate to grow up to be like them.

[hardlogic]

Very useful yet painfully under-explored topic. Thank you.

[benjaminbaumgardner]

This dude is dropping some truth bombs

[AeonStormscar]

My Stress Management teacher posted this video for our chapter on Emotional Intelligence. I just wanted to say I especially appreciated the section on "unrealistic expectations" as I am always thinking about how others should or could be instead of meeting them where they are. I also LOVE the transition music, such a bop as they say.

[drottercat]

All of this is useful. There is one mistake though. We never hear what emotional intelligence is. Only that it is not one of these 5 things.

[artcan]

I'd rather plan and have the "illusion" of control than feel uncertainty about the future. And rather reflect on past mistakes to be mindful of not repeating them. I think those are valid forms of reducing anxiety. The only advice from this video to cope uncertainty is to simply "accept" it. Very easily said, but far more difficult than the video makes it seem.

[Allie]

You have the best channel on YouTube. Everything I needed to listen to and learn from. Also, it is very therapeutic to me. Thank you!

[whatzupLizzy]

Good video. I would say that planning is not about denial. As a project manager it is completely reasonable to plan, for see potential risks and make mitigation plans. That does not mean you are overthinking things. Uncertainty is a fact of life, but not an excuse for doing nothing.

[yoyoyo]

Emotional intelligence can definitely be learned. I used to have 0 but then i worked hard and now I'm a lot more emotionally intelligent

[kevinxu]

I just really really really needed this

[theinvestmentdoctor]

That was EXTREMELY useful. I'm guilty of this myself. I keep remunerating about my Investment mistakes. Thanks for the effort you put in this video😊

[MithraSemiramis]

this is excellent. I've personally come to believe good intuition is about knowing when to hold back.