Why Some People Won't Stick With New Habits

What does it actually take to change our behavior for life? To never go back to the way we used to be?

Most people who try to change their habits, their lifestyle, their lives - will fail. They'll go right back to the habits and behaviors they had before they made the change.

But some people do succeed. They go the distance. They make changes that stick for life.

Why? One thing is clear - people who succeed at sticking with lifestyle changes forever - FOR LIFE - do things differently.

Based on my research, my current theory is that they have 3 major differences:

1) They actually want the change
2) They enjoy the process
3) They become the change itself

Please like and comment if you enjoyed this video.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - How to successfully change our behavior for life?
1:01 - Actually want the change
6:09 - Enjoy the process
10:43 - Become the change itself

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[KianaDocherty]

What habits do you want to stick to for life? Leave a comment and let me know!
If you like this kind of video, please LIKE and let me know! 🤓

[SnobbyLion]

'start small, but stay consistent' is my mantra for building positive habits

[johnpinneriv]

"Want the change" is the only way that I was able to quit smoking years ago. "I should" or "I have to" had me lapsing back into it within days or a week or two - "I want to" was the thing that flipped the switch in my head and worked.

[elizafrancesz]

As someone who struggles to wake up a few hours before work (because I feel a lot better if I exercise in the morning), “enjoying the process” means reminding myself that almost NO ONE ELSE is out walking/running at 4-5am… which is absolute BLISS for a high-scoring introvert like me lol

[vasilikikakara]

8:44 "having less of a flat ass" this one brought me to tears 🤣

[cristiannaJ]

I pretty much removed alcohol from my life at the beginning of this year. I started with dry January and realized how good I felt every day. I attended concerts, parties, family events, where I drank sparkling water and felt just as fulfilled as when I would drink. I began enjoying this new behavior so much I wanted to stick with it for the long term. I started building muscle in the gym and losing weight without calorie counting. I didn't even drink on weekdays, only weekends, but those weekend binges clearly were impacting my health without me realizing it. Now I am six months into the year and have drank twice, once on a vacation in Mexico, and once on a night out. I never thought of myself as someone who would ENJOY being the DD - but now it is a habit that I plan to stick with for the long term. It just feels like who I am now! I don't tell myself I never drink, I tell myself I drink when I feel like it. My new habit or "default mode" is a non-drinker. It is a great feeling!

[narfeggio]

Finding a community of like minded people is crucial IMHO, whether it's online or IRL

[Pokomonsss]

Reasons why I enjoy exercise and eating healthy now when at first I hated it:

1. My skin is clearer, less red and pasty, softer and silkier.
2. I get endorphins and dopamine rushes after working out.
3. Better mood, more happy, less likely to get stressed, clearer minded, have better control over my emotions.
4. I have more energy than I’ve had in 20 years.
5. I feel more confident in myself and proud of myself, feels like I’m on the right track. Looking in the mirror is now fun.
6. Shopping for new clothes and going down in sizes feels great.
6. Women have become more friendly and I’m starting to get “the look” from them.

And the thing is, I’ve got maybe a year or two to go before I am really where I want to be. So there’s plenty of room for more good things to come!

[MajorDektarev]

I got a stomach surgery last november. I have to stick to my new lifestyle. Otherwise i will die early. Lost almost 60kg since March 23 (was 180kg). Its hard, and i thought about stop to go to gym. But instead i just slowed down, and get after that back to full workout. I am going to gym now since 1st of january. I am not missing anything. I see that my quality of life is getting better, i got more motivation, less sleep problems and so on. And even with friends, i walk this way almost alone. Just my cat saw all of my struggles. Sadly i had him put to sleep a month ago. This was a huge backlash. I also decided to not continue my job in a toxic workplace with a narcistic boss. Its so hard at this moment. But i will continue to work on me. I don`t get through all those stuff, just to give up.

Greetings from Germany

[spideratari]

This topic really spoke to me in a big way! Back in the beginning of the year, I signed up at a gym and aimed to go in the mornings. Every time I thought, "Oh I don't feel like getting up early and going" I'd immediately interrupt myself and think, "This is just what I do. I get up and go to the gym." And so the "fake it till you make it" mindset really works because now I don't think about it at all. I just get up and go and now it's a habit. Weightlifting is my thing, and now I am starting to think of myself as a weightlifter so I'd for sure love to see a video on the identity change topic!

[heartinthecity]

You saved my sh*t today. I lost 80lbs (twice lol) but this time around I stopped the daily weigh ins & gained 10 back. & you know how it goes once the weight starts to come bback. You can act... or you can.. NOT. I've been "acting" for the past month trying to re lose the 10lbs but yesterday I feel off again. I was mulling over if I was or was not I was going to workout today. This video popped up & I didn't even watch it lol, I just went into my gym & got it done. Told myself my reward would be this video after.
Thank you!

[kati-ana]

I'm one of those people. I sabotage my progress before I even get started. I start a lot of things, a day later I've already lost all interests. I don't like this behavior. I don't want to die feeling useless and stuck in this behavior.

[claarraa]

Hey Kiana, I know you’re more into behaviour science now I think it would be interesting if you did a video in the book: “ Ultra processed people : why we can’t stop eating food that isn’t food” by Chris Van Tulleken. Or even if you don’t make a video on it it’s super interesting (I just started it and the information that it has is crazy). IMO.

[iconic_chronic]

During my health journey, I found two big things that are helping me. One is to remove anything I don't want to eat from the house. I've tried the whole "moderation" business and it don't work for me. Second is to play around with my options. I want to exercise more, but why pick one version of exercise! Instead I my habit is an "activity" after work. A walk for tired days, yoga for sore days, bodyweight for "I wanna feel strong" days, and dance fitness for fun days. As long as I got an "activity" in, its a success.

[skyesamels]

your exercise example rang so true to me. this year i’ve been trying to be healthier; going to the gym, eating better, better sleep, etc. i did the whole30 and even though i wasn’t in love with whole foods immediately, i immediately fell in love with cooking and the process of it. because i love the process of cooking, it’s so much easier to stick to eating healthier foods rather than always getting takeout. (and yes of course now i also love the way healthy food tastes, now i can’t even eat ice cream or it overwhelms my palette). it’s also been weird letting go of my identity as a person who eats a lot.

[Eezyriderr]

My motivation is seeing the food I WAS eating before my stents as what nearly killed me. The second but equal motivator, if I'm ever tempted to eat that trash again, is the grim reaper pointing at that poison as if to say "Go on, fat boy, eat some more!". I'm now 47lbs down since March 19, no temptation, no cravings, just the right amount of fear and a desire to extend my years to keep me on track. Your videos are an important part of it as well.

[hilaryavera]

Keep doing what you're doing Kiana. Your videos are so encouraging. This is true self-care!

[HappyGrapefruit]

WOW. This exactly explains some changes I've seen in my life recently.

I gave birth to my first baby 10 months ago, and from the beginning I wanted to be "a good mum". For me, being a good mother meant eating healthy and cooking healthy food for my family.

All of a sudden, the cravings I used to have for fast food disappeared. Even convenience food like frozen pizza stopped tasting as nice and started to feel too unhealthy to me.

Now, even when I'm exhausted, it seems much more convenient to go shopping once a week and organise some healthy quick meals than eat frozen meals or get takeaway. I mean, we do still eat takeaway, but its a rare treat now... And the negatives often mean that I don't feel like it as much. Takeaway is too unhealthy, takes too long, often when I receive the food it is too cold, after eating it I don't feel as good... The list goes on and on! I often plan dinners that take literally less than 20 mins to cook, so usually when I'm tired, this is what I feel like cooking....

Before, it used to be a daily struggle to not get takeaways!! Why? Because I've become a "good mum".... And maybe even a "home cook"!!

[allen]

About 6 months ago I started going to the gym. I’ve always “looked” healthy but I always wanted to have a little more definition but I never got myself focused. About 6 months ago, I had a fall out with a friend and it was really messing with my mind and decided maybe I should just go to the gym and work out that anxiety.

Fast forward 6 months and now, at 37, I’m in the best shape of my life. I couldn’t imagine not going to the gym. I go maybe 5-6 days a week now and have gained 10 pounds of muscle.

The important thing is I started and still go with no goals - I was just looking for a cheap hobby and an outlet for my anxiety. I don’t huff and puff when I’m at the gym. I don’t push myself to the limit. I just casually do whatever I feel like doing that day. Sometimes I’m there an hour, sometimes 3. Sometimes I’ll try out a new machine, other times I just stick with what I know. I just genuinely enjoy going and moving. I’ve woken up slightly sore the next day but never super sore. I joined Anytime Fitness because I travel a lot and know I can go to other locations when traveling.

I realized I am the tortoise in the tortoise vs the hare. I use to always want fast results, had big expectations, etc but I genuinely enjoy the slow and steady aspect of life. It takes off all the pressure and allows me to just enjoy the process no matter where I am in it. Two months ago I could barely do 5 pull ups - now I can just make myself do 15. Again, I wasn’t even pushing myself to have this goal, it just happened without me even realizing it. My goal isn’t to be buff, I just realized it helped me deal with anxiety in my life to work out and not give myself expectations when it comes to the hobby but just enjoy the process

[MarmaladePeaches]

I actually enjoy the habits that I do want to integrate into my life, studying, exercising, reading etc. It's the fact that I want to see results, a reward for all the hard work I've put into doing the thing. If I don't see much progress I get so discouraged, and start thinking what even is the point. Definitely something I need working on