Why You Keep Failing At Self-Discipline

ABOUT THE VIDEO
_
In this video, I talk about self-discipline.

There's a widely-held belief that self-discipline means being able to do something when you don't actually want to do it. People who believe this think that self-discipline means going to the gym, reading books, or eating chicken and broccoli when you don't actually want to. For them, self-discipline means ignoring your authentic-self in favour of your ideal-self. But this view of self-discipline is completely deluded.

Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do is not self-discipline. It's slavery, and every slave eventually becomes resentful, revengeful, and regretful. Sacrificing your authenticity for society’s ideal will make you miserable, not happy. And no matter how long you force it, you will always eventually fail in the long-run. And that’s a good thing too, because who wants to live their whole life as a slave?

If you force yourself to do things you don't want to do, if you follow society's ideal, your ideal-self will repress your authentic-self. You will become a slave in your own body, and your body will take its revenge.

But if you become a disciple of yourself, if you understand your own genuine feelings, desires, and nature, if you discover your own ideal, your ideal-self will work harmoniously with your authentic-self to promote growth.

So here’s the secret to self-discipline. Self-discipline is not about forcing yourself to meet society's ideal, but rather becoming a student of yourself. It's about discovering your own ideal and allowing your authentic-self to flourish.

OUR COURSES
_
Coming soon. Sign up to my newsletter to be notified when they release.

OUR MERCH
_
Coming soon. Sign up to my newsletter to be notified when they release.

OUR BOOKS
_

OUR FAVOURITE TOOLS
_

Adobe. The software I use to make my videos:

RELATED VIDEOS
_

CONNECT WITH US
_

CONNECT WITH ME
_

PODCAST
_

FURTHER READING
_
The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Mate

NOTES
_
(1) Videos are just my opinion, for entertainment and informational purposes. Just some things to think about—not advice.

(2) Some of the links in the description are affiliate links which I get a kickback from—at no extra cost to you.

[mariochamorro]

Self discipline is Not denying your authentic self in favor of your ideal self. It is denying your Lazy self in favor of a truer, stronger self.

[themoralcube]

Self discipline is the ultimate form of self love.

[i_am_the_ember]

I sacrificed making music to study Geology to make my family proud because I felt they knew what was best for me. I gave it everything I had, it was so hard. After the first semester of my second year, the lecturers bragged about failing us, I thought it was a joke till we saw all our hardwork reduced to nothing for their amusement. I clocked out, I sank into a depression, I was completely lost, it was a scary place but I learned it was necessary and it helped me get in touch with who I am not, it gave me the courage to follow my own path.
I started making music in April. I have never felt so whole

[marya.]

There are a lot of comments saying it's unadvisable to be your true self, because your true self doesn't want to go to work or exercise and just wants to lay around eating ice cream all day. I disagree. The part of you that wants to do nothing and be lazy all the time is not your authentic self; it is you trying to escape a life in which you are unfulfilled. We eat junk food and binge watch TV for comfort. For escape. To temporarily forget about what a jerk our boss is or that the mortgage is due and we're broke. Our authentic selves crave meaning and purpose. We want to leave our mark on this world. Our lazy selves that we rail against in the name of self discipline are the warnings our authentic selves are sending us to let us know our current lives are not satisfying us on some level. But rather than listen to that warning and take action, we stuff it down with more self discipline because maintaining the status quo is much easier than changing our entire lives.

[loladexploradora]

Self discipline is not about being a slave to another master’s desires but being resilient and consistent with your own. Self discipline limits the act of daydreaming and wishful thinking and supports the actions of achieving ur goals

[AD-lmfc]

Misleading Analogy, If you think too deep you'll end up in a dark place. Self-discipline is simply doing what you don't want to do because it's hard, you can only achieve great things by overcoming difficult challenges, which will make you happy later.

[TheWilliamHoganExperience]

This absolutely nails it. I'm autistic. Many of my difficulties in life stemed from trying to be something and someone I wasn't. I tried to fit in. It didn't work. So I kept trying. And failing. Eventually I learned I was autistic. It's when I realized and accepted this fact that things got better for me. Seek to understand your true nature. It's a lifelong journey for everyone, autistic or not - or should be.

[DJNHmusic]

I found this video to be really confusing. I think discipline regarding eating healthy, maintaining good sleep hygiene, working out, limiting screen time, etc. isn't somehow denying your authentic self. You are just resisting the urge to over engage in the unnatural stimuli of the modern world for your own good. I doubt anyone's authentic self is an overweight person with ill health who has no friends due to playing video games all the time. If anything, having no discipline and just blindly following your urges is an impediment to living an authentic life.

[stringplayer]

Self discipline doesn’t make you a slave to yourself, it makes you master of yourself. That’s the opposite of slavery. That’s freedom.

[SadoYoutube]

self-discipline is doing something you don't want now for something you want in the future.

[Mentally_Better]

The number one reason people fail with self-discipline is running from discomfort. When you don't want to do what “you're supposed to do”, it is time to rethink your goals and find ways to simplify their achievement. Working on your self-discipline helps.

[saverio_]

This video is a mess. Total confusion between the concept of self-discipline and the idea of doing what other people want us to do.

[andrewortiz]

Life is supposed to be difficult and hard!! Once you Accept this, Life suddenly isn't so difficult and hard!! Once you Accept Life as it is, you feel a Deep Peace and Joy!!

[algoguide]

I find a unique happiness from overcoming difficult challenges. Many times, I would make myself do challenging things despite not "feeling" like doing them - and the reward has been tolerance. When you can tolerate more things in life, you have more room to be happy. If someone annoys me, I now have the emotional intelligence to quickly brush it off since I've pushed myself to do way harder things than experiencing annoyance.

Some forms of doing things despite not wanting to do them can pay off greatly. It's a more straightforward path to health, well being, and security - than the ambiguous "path of the true self" that you are suggesting which requires a healthy perspective and immense clarity. In theory, it still would require one to do the painful work of understanding oneself - which many refuse to even get to the surface of doing.

Not everyone will be able to understand themselves perfectly... we are flawed creatures and also we tend to have foolish/childish desires. If one determines the path of their true self is to be a serial killer, are they right?

I agree that we should not make decisions based on societal expectations, however this is not directly linked to doing things despite not wanting to. A big support to what I'm saying would also be the "zone of proximal development". One has to put themselves in an adequate amount of discomfort to grow.

[MarcusHiggs]

"There is no greater privilege in life than being yourself." - Joseph Campbell

[karanmehta]

Indeed, self-discipline is simply a natural consequence of living an authentic life and doing what calls to you. Self-discipline isn't a chore and it happens naturally when one is sincerely pursuing their own path.

[rebeccaoprea]

Discipline is the highest form of self love .

[orosalese]

This one really hit close to home. I have GI issues as well due to stress from my job before I got laid off. Oddly I have less stress now than when I did when I was making 6 figures. That money didn't bring me any happiness, only stress and regret. I often couldn't sleep and had so much anxiety I couldn't notice textures on the wall. I kept pushing in the name of discipline and sacrifice for my family. I wish I would've found my way doing something with comedy instead. I love making people laugh, not money. I doubt you will read this, but thank you for your videos. They've really helped me through some very dark times.

[billcyphersrdeye]

thank you so much. i’m now entering a point in my life that i need to change or else i’ll carry shit into my adulthood. i got this

[HaveANceDay]

I am literally doing the same - I am an aerospace engineer working with machine learning and I saw that no matter how much money I made I could not motivate myself to do the things I was supposed to do. Then I realized - I am no more the person I thought I was - I do not like engineering anymore, nor machine learning, and I would not even progress properly thinking like this. And I did the same - went on a journey to be a philosopher, going thru a psychology specialization. We have to embrace change, not fight it.

Thank you for this video, it was surely an alignment of what I was thinking for months.