Are narcissists bad people?

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST

LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[nikkinorton]

I don't put a value on people. I definitely put a value on behaviors.

[henrydembski]

When I confronted my narc about something they did she replied “I guess I’m just a bad person” so there’s your answer. They know they are shitty people, they don’t care. They pick to stay with people who accept their shitty behavior and don’t hold them accountable

[lisalawtonlyons]

They portray good, and show their best qualities when ppl are watching, and the beginning of the relationship.. but then, when the newness wears off or behind closed doors, is when you see and hear what their core resembles

[judysangregorio]

YES! All the narcissists I know have the SAME bad qualities.

[izawaniek]

When people show you who they are, we should believe them. Actions speak louder than words. We need to respect ourselves and protect ourselves from abusive, toxic people.

[ardent]

They’re the worst people on earth! They’re only seeking what’s wrong with you, what’s vulnerable with you, so they can pick at it for your reaction and exploit it for their gain. The only real remedy for dealing with them is to become a boring gray rock, to let them kick you around and act like you don’t care until they get bored and leave you alone.

[mirawolf]

The fact that I thought that my mom has some goddness inside her soul, kept me so long in that distructive relationship. When I finally accepted that she' s evil, it was a lot more easier to leave.

[robdegrilla]

Pathological need to control others, manipulate, isolate, triangulate, gas light, trauma bond, minimal or no empathy or sympathy and many others is in fact evil. Being delusional, unable to self reflect, unable to accept responsibility doesn’t give a hall pass for the selfish un empathetic destruction they cause. I was confused and made excuses for this for 30 years. What I learned is - The further you distance yourself from their cruelty the healthier you become

[Bommi]

With their manipulation, lying, abusing, cheating and hurting, how can they be anything else?

[kingbee]

Not only bad, they're the worst. Expecting to be treated with kindness & respect and desiring to feel that you belong in your family is not crazy. Basic human decency will not be honoured by a narcissist.

[diannecooper]

They're disregulated and their behavior is a trama response. Knowing this makes me feel sorry for him. Most of his behavior is directed toward his romantic relationships so most who know him wouldnt even recognize the person I know. Good or bad is in the eye of the beholder. You're right though saying it's the wrong question. It's about are they good or bad for you! I've come to realization that he repulses me. However I still feel myself mourning the image I built in my head. It's like missing a fictional character. The only thing that made him special was my imagination.

[davidwelch]

Yes; they are Bad people! The Real person is Bad; the "False Self" is the good side of them. I had a friend who has NPD; he discarded me after 5 yrs being close friends. I love him but still understand that the core true person is bad. Everyone has hurt from their childhood of some kind; this does not excuse anyone for taking that hurt out on the people who love them the most.

[daynapeterson]

So, basically they are good people as long as you are giving them supply. My elderly narc mom exposed herself while I was away for 4 months. Did some horrible things to me behind my back due to losing my supply. When I found out, I went no-contact. Now she has no means of gaslighting me to say "I never did that". She's left holding the bag. That is how you fix these things.

[RebuildingWithClarity]

Anytime somebody thinks of PEOPLE as a SUPPLY or an OBJECT they are bad. That's just my opinion. I never thought there were people like that in this world. I always tried to find good in people. Never thought manipulation and evil people like that existed.

[mmorgan]

Yes. I had to stop asking this question, and instead had to realize that it didn't matter if the relationship was harming me so deeply.

[bonitabrandt]

I had someone in my life who I thought was my "best friend" for six years. I ran into some serious socio-economic problems, and she disappeared from my life for three months. When I subtly pointed this out to her, I was met with dismissiveness and irritation. I saw her in a light that I have not been able to come to terms with. I could not have her in my life any longer....and I am left with the fact that, at 76 years old, I have been in these relationships all of my life. Patterns are almost impossible to break...this is just my experience...I am not speaking for anyone else.

[marieborchardt]

I remember thinking, if someone questions me about why I went no-contact with a narcissistic family member, I was going to say the relationship was not good for me and leave it at that. At first I felt like I had to explain everything, but that was a mistake. Many don't understand narcissism and she was a chameleon. Even I found it hard to believe the awful things she did during one significant melt down.
I'm learning I don't need to explain myself to everyone about everything. They can decide for themselves about me and others.

[FireEmpress]

For me, if you KNOW the difference between right and wrong, yet consistently chose wrong that hurts others you are not a good person. Period.

[rllght]

Personally this question doesn't bother me, narcissists are bad for my health(both physical and mental), my self-esteem and self-confidence, establishing and maintaining my reputation, chasing my dreams and accomplishing what I want in life, causing me financial losses big and small which makes my living difficult, giving me nightmares even years after. And these're enough for me to make the conclusion that they are by no means any good.

[Garden]

We call them bad until they do something good. That’s when you know their good is just a lie and their bad is who they are. What I hate is the lies they live and then expect us to agree with and buy into their lies.