4 Tips to Stop Trauma Dumping in Its Tracks! w/ Dr. Kate Truitt

In this psychoeducational video, Dr. Kate Truitt explains that being in the presence of someone who’s trauma dumping can be complicated and painful. It pulls on our empathy and compassion strings, and it’s important to remember that our nervous system is critical. We are going to learn 4 tips for when this happens.

The first two tips are external tips for setting boundaries. If we notice that our mind and body system is being disrupted by this data, we need to take care of ourselves. The first tip is to say, “this sounds like it’s tough, but I need to XYZ.” This allows us to create space to step away and use CPR for the Amygdala. The second tip is to say, “this sounds like it’s tough, I hope you have or are looking for someone to work with to help you.” By doing this, we are providing an awareness that this is hard stuff. It’s important to remember that it is not our job to do this.

The second two tips are internal tips. The first being to turn energy towards you and expand that energy into a safe, loving bubble. I am worthy of taking care of my mind and body right now. We are worthy of giving ourselves that same attention. The second tip is to imagine you have an inner ally sitting next to you. I am deserving and worth taking care of.

Dr. Kate reminds us that, yes, it’s hard to disrupt a trauma dump. Trauma dumping can be traumatizing for both people. Therefore it’s an act of loving kindness to set boundaries and take care of you.

#traumadumping #therapythursday #healinginyourhands

Dr. Kate Truitt is a clinical psychologist, neuroscientist, as well as holds a MBA in Healthcare Administration. She is the CEO of the Trauma Counseling Center of Los Angeles, Chairman of the Board of the Amy Research Foundation, and leads her flagship organization Dr. Kate Truitt & Associates located in Pasadena, CA. Her teams of expert psychologists and psychotherapists provide individual therapy, group therapy, executive coaching, and neurofeedback throughout California via telehealth.

© 2023 by Dr. Kate Truitt All rights reserved. No part of this video may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without the written permission of the copyright holder.

[Citrusverbena]

I needed this message years ago. I was trauma dumped over and over and got emotional drained for two years. Finally insisted they move out and I am trying to heal from it. A year later it’s still affecting me. Tough when it’s a family member and I struggle how to ever be around them again 😢

[Elijah.Ashman]

I’ve been always complaining and venting too much and draining all my pressure on my friends and I never knew that I was doing it and I just realised when they brought it up and I never knew that I could hurt someone without even thinking about it and it’s hurt me even more that I’ve hurt them and now I always stop myself from this

[lauralaabs]

What a wonderful way to identify why they trauma dump. Thank you for reminding us that we are worthy and to set boundaries. This is so helpful.

[irmacarver]

YES. Love this! Does not demonize the trauma dumper. or the uncomfortable object of the dump. I wish I had seen it before. New friend told me specifics of her child sexual abuse- no warning and at length. Later I was so triggered/drained I asked to take a break. She has told others I do not support survivors. So my listening helped no one. and now I'm worried. I wish I could wear a T shirt saying "check in before sharing". I have CPTSD myself and am working to regulate, heal and thrive. Thanks again for this.

[trudiroach]

I e experienced trauma dumping a couple of times recently. One was a friend whose parents are old and ill and I’d been supporting them for a long time but needed a break from everything for one week on holiday. He blocked me after I stated I needed a rest and would message him when I returned from my holiday. He has a partner and other people to lean in for that week and I’d had other stressors in my life with my close friend going through chemo and myself living with chronic pain from arthritis that affects my sleep. He scams of being a lousy friend. Another was in a retreat very recently that was supposed to be a yoga, meditation and nature retreat that turned into a group therapy space for one person in the grips of grief. Their energy and mood was difficult to deal with and it ruined the retreat for me. I hadn’t signed up to a group therapy retreat. I don’t think people are aware they’re trauma dumping or the impact it has on others. I wish folks would seek therapy rather than expect strangers or friends who aren’t trained or qualified to fill the gap.

[lucerorodriguez]

I noticed ive been listenting to peoples trauma non-stop for the last three years, from hearing about family in abusive relationships or friends 😢. I want tobe there for them but its hard because it's somewhat in their control. Im re-learning how to set boundaries again for this new year. ❤❤

[SweettoothMarie]

It is so draining! These are useful tips❤

[chrissydicriscio]

Thank you so much, this was so helpful, validating, and encouraging

[Baysker]

Thank you for this my colleague has been trauma dumping on me for a while, I will definitely use your tips. Thank you

[sariane]

Thank you for sharing these tools and prompts to end a trauma dumping conversation.

[LilyBecca]

I have been getting trauma dumped on every single day for over 2 years. It has made me sick and changed me as a person. I don't know how much more I can take. I recently told her that it doesn't matter if her anger isn't directed at me, it feel like I am being yelled at, and I have a really hard time brushing off the negativity. I was attacked for saying this. She went off on a manic rage all about how she's not allowed to be upset. She's not allowed to raise her tone. And so on and so forth. When it first started getting bad a couple of years ago, she would threaten to kill herself, and I would give her money, and then it would all be good until the next day when she needed more money. Well, I'm out of money now. I've loaned over $20k that I will never get back, my savings is completely wiped out, so now when she threatens to kill herself I have no way of getting her to stop her manic rapid fire trauma dumping. If I dont talk on the phone, I get texts. If I don't reply to the texts, she becomes even more angry and then will verbally attack you in the most hateful way imagineable. She will show up at your house, even when you say it's not a good time. (I work from home)Other times, after yelling at you, she will cry and say she gives up, she can't do this (life) anymore and start saying help me, help me. You can't give her any advice, though. She becomes enraged and goes off about how she knows she does everything wrong because everyone loves to tell her what a piece of shit she is every single day and she couldn't feel worse about herself. I'm really at the end of my rope. I was so stressed out and overwhelmed a few nights ago that I almost went to the ER because I thought I might be having a heart attack.

[inezneal]

I've started blocking people that send me messages about being depressed. Then immediately asking to hang out. If they do it a few times I drop them. Especially when these people are already in therapy. Like what?

[emanuellandeholm]

I could have used this video some 30 years ago when I met a person who used me as a trauma dumpster. I was convinced I was at blame for not always picking up the phone! The guilt... I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self what that all was about.

[MsCocoa]

Thank you so much! Your steps are helpful and practical.

[stephendedalus]

​ @DrKateTruitt I had an accident and lost my leg 5 months ago. I tell nobody what happened or why I am so sad and irritable all the time. I confide in nobody, friends or family due to fear of trauma dumping on them. It is not going well, but thanks i guess. idk. Hopefully somebody like you will heal the people i have harmed with my trauma that I don't talk about.

[CourtRundell]

Thank you so much - i feel like there are finally words for what has been done to me and what I have done to others before becoming aware.

[paulak]

Wow! How powerful is this message. Thank you so much.

[rik-keymusic]

I'm actually angry because mostly they never talk about solutions, all they do is talk and talk and talk about problems. They often never take in any advice but instead break down every potential solution presented to them. My father does this all the time and it took me a while to understand that this isn't healthy.... i thought i should listen and listen and listen and be empathic... i now reached my point and it really annoys me because he only sees me when he can talk about his issues. I walk in and he starts dumping his shit... It's a very one sided relationship and i don't like the situation. He doesn't understand it, he has no clue what so ever about how relationships work. He thinks everything is fine if everyone does as he pleases but there is little to non genuine interest in me. These people only need you when they need something from you. A listening ear or whatever...and they believe they're doing anything wrong.

[yueyin]

pretty great sharing with a warm style, thank you Dr. Truitt.

[beasaroseco]

My issue is when an abuser is trauma dumping to inflict mental and emotional injury.