How to Deal with Criticism

Learning how to deal with criticism is a key skill for anybody trying to do something worthwhile. This video looks at some internal checks you can do while listening and offers ways to respond to criticism once you've heard it so you handle it productively.

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[YAHdassah]

Thanks so much! My biggest struggle is accepting/responding to unfair or untrue feedback. I battle disagreeing/correcting because you might be accused of “giving pushback” or being defensive.

[sic]

My preferred approach to criticism is divided in two steps:
1st step: evaluate the intentions of the critic,
2nd step: ignore or explore.

If the person criticizing is not driven by good intentions, clearly state that you do not take the criticism into account.
If the person criticizing is driven by good intentions, ask investigative questions. Explore the criticism as much as you can: you may not have such a good opportunity to learn and improve very often.

Key and sensitive point: how to identify good intentions.
Not an easy task, but some clues: words, tones, body language, critic’s history and friends, context of the criticism, values at stake, etc.

[jacobfield]

Most criticism is a "personal preference" and not necessarily helpful. Be your own critic, the more honest you are the more you learn.

[elsaweber]

Like most people, I was never really thrilled with receiving criticism until I had a unique experience in an art class. We would put our art up on the wall to be critiqued by the whole class. Somehow because we were all so genuinely interested in art and because we were all mature and kind individuals I grew to love the learning that took place during the critiques. Mainly it was applying the critical eye to others work that I could see that it wasn’t personal and there was no malice. I learned not to be “precious” about my work and that everything can be a work in process. The experience was so helpful that the word “criticism” or “critique” completely changed in my mind.

[thomasstoffer]

One of the hardest things when putting these principles into action is when you have to sort through the emotions to understand what the feedback really is. Deciphering the message when it’s embedded in a lot of emotions is something that is difficult when you simply can’t walk away or disregard it. For example romantic relationships if your partner doesn’t have that self awareness but is still trying to communicate criticism. Trying to decipher healthy criticisms from just toxic manipulative communication.

[raquelmaullon]

Infj here, and me dealing with criticism is a total struggle. Thanks for this video, God bless!

[theJaneoec]

Man that really helped i gotta stop taking criticism personally

[faizanulhaq]

1. Check your mindset
2. Consider the source of criticism
3. Consider nature of criticism
4. Deep breath
5. Be receptive, not defensive
6. If it resonates
7. What are your priorities

[nimageofmine]

Hardest thing about criticism used to be listening for me. I used to always have a knee jerk reaction. Over time, I've improved. But I've struggled to make the conversation interactive because I get disappointed and beat myself up since I have higher expectations on myself. In short, emotions override me in moment of time.

[shahshreeta]

When criticism is valid and constructive. It should be accepted and respected. Like when teachers point out mistakes in students work or driving instructors point out mistakes to people learning to drive. It is aimed to be constructive and helpful and important to improve work performance.

[communicationstation]

Thank you for the genuine delivery and great information! I was on the receiving end of some professional criticism yesterday and wanted to build up some skills before going back to the table today.

[weeklyfascination]

Here's how I respond. "Tell me more."
That helps separate the sincere constructive criticism from the insults.
If the person says, "Well, your video would be so much better if you improved the sound." then it's a sincere comment.
If they just continue to say "You're terrible and you should quit." they are just being mean and I don't need to spend anymore time listening to them.

[devonc]

One of my weaknesses includes not being able to handle criticism ot being called out and corrected.

[wp]

Thank you so much - your videos are tremendously helpful to a mother at home who still drives to upskill herself before returning to the workforce! Logical, reasonable, concise and precise illustration that gives equivalent values to an MBA qualification. Most of all, love seeing His faithful and talented servant making positive impacts - how encouraging! :)

[mayafoxwitch]

Thank you so much for this video, Alexander! Criticism always hurts me because I think I have low self-esteem and lots of insecurities, and it really hurts even though I know it is helpful. I appreciate your tips and insight on this topic!

[kathconstance]

Thanks for this; negative feedback is squirmish and I default to giving evidence to justify actions. I try to nod and change position but I have to hear the giver repeat the feedback many times over. Your suggestion of leading the conversation to solutions is constructive. I look forward to doing your course.

[alanbourbeau]

Nobody likes to be criticized at work at all. Why? Because it’s emotionally painful 😓 and upsetting and makes people feel worthless. And it’s happened to me before. Because like today, I was at my work site and my supervisor was getting on my case and telling me that my work efforts weren’t good and she had to say it out loud. I know that I’ve made some mistakes at work in the past and I admit to them as well but here’s what I don’t like. I don’t like it when my supervisor tells me that my work efforts are aren’t good enough out loud. And why is that? Because it’s humiliating and it makes me feel ashamed and guilty and sometimes I feel like two cents. And at times I feel like easily giving up. But I don’t ever think about giving up easily at all.

[shahshreeta]

Put downs that are criticism are different. It can be based on their own viewpoint and may or may not be constructive and is designed to tear the person down.

[dlon]

I walk around like I've reached enlightenment most of the time. As soon as anyone criticises me...I'm on YT confirming that they are narcissistic sociopaths.
It's scary how easy it is, with social media to delude myself

[JimRogers-ocjd]

I was always told when you have been criticised, or being accused in anger, The problem is NOT with you, it is with them! Aske yorself what problems they have that trigger their view, and opinion!