Why Criticism Can Hurt so Much

Our difficulty in accepting criticism doesn’t arise from feeling it is undeserved, but rather the opposite. It confirms a secret belief in our own unworthiness.

FURTHER READING

"To be criticised is never pleasant. It is rarely a good day when we have to read an unflattering social media post about ourselves, when we are given harsh feedback on a project or hear that we are being gossiped about by strangers. However, the question of how much criticism needs to hurt depends on something which has nothing to do with the specific attack we happen to face: how much we happen to like ourselves..."

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Noelle Smith Design

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[janinearmstrong]

It takes a lot to learn how to protect your inner child that wasn't protected by adults in the past. But I'm hopeful.

[TEAforMIND]

Whatever we do, "good" or "bad", people will have something negative to say.

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” – Frank A. Clark

[DemetriPanici]

*"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius*

[justaroach]

"We already hate ourselves so much more than our worst enemies will"
That is deep

[tubeyou]

One tip to avoid overreacting when receiving criticism: think carefully about the other person's intention and whether objectively the criticism is helpful to our improvement.
It's not easy and takes maturity, but worth it.

On the other hand, we should try to be sensitive when giving criticism, make our good intentions clear and focus on the behaviour not the .. I am reciting from parenting books I read.

[TheJimprez]

I spent 8 years living with my brother when I was a kid. It took me 30 years to get over the daily insults and being brought down incessantly.
Words DO HURT!
I haven't seen that psychopath in over 10 years and its the best gift I ever gave myself.

[PPGandRRBfan]

This brought up a memory of the first job I worked at.
The boss and half of the colleagues were toxic. I would get extra jobs to do, yelled at, even got money taken off my paycheck for mistakes I couldn't avoid since I was doing work for two or three people. I often cried in the bathroom just to get myself together and to continue working with a smile (which was mandatory). One day I couldn't hold it anymore and I broke down in front of my already frustrated boss. It made her even more angry. She yelled how pathetic and weak I was for crying. That escalated into my first ever panic attack. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and she just walked out of the room. Few days later they fired me. It made me become scared of criticism as I convinced myself I wasn't a good enough employee. Few years later I found out on the TV news that their company was shut down as they were abusing people for years before and after I worked there.
Criticism from a person in power can be dangerous for anyone's mental well-being when it's given continuously and disrespectfully. If anyone reading this is in a similar situation, I hope you find a way to leave. You health and your life is more important.

[AstroRoxy]

Criticism hurts when we ourselves are under confident, scared or worried that we might mess up and also when we try too hard but it is not received in the same way because of some misunderstandings.
I have developed higher self respect, self confidence and self compassion so that I can navigate through life without being so worried all the time.

[liberty-matrix]

“Some people find fault as if it were a buried treasure.” - Francis O'Walsh

[DemetriPanici]

*"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." - C.S Lewis*

[trinaq]

As a self admitted perfectionist, I find it difficult to accept any kind of criticism, even constructive criticism. However, I'm trying to learn to take it in stride, and to see where they're coming from.

[mdaaaa]

It's not criticism that hurt but how you are criticized. It's how you say it and their motivation behind it.

[ReynaSingh]

Criticism hurts most when one either has an inflated sense of self or when they have a low sense of self. We need balance

[casonkm]

"Remember you are insulted not by the person who strikes or abuses you, but by your opinion that these things are insulting."
-Epictetus

[camey]

"when we are suffering, we should remember that we aren't exceptionally weak - we almost certainly had a far worse childhood than the average person".

[olive]

So true! Thanks for reassuring me that there is "nothing wrong with me" and helping me accept that my childhood has affected me and continues to do so to this day. Awareness is the first step in a long, lifelong journey of personal growth. I love parenting my inner child, she is awesome!

[houssamk]

This is true but we should all remind ourselves that we put more attention on criticism that we receive than the one we give, we have a list of people that we dislike but we forget that we are on somebody else's list.

[nizasiamehenry]

It's because of a bad childhood and never being appreciated!

[Flaviafco]

Studying english and learning to be a better person. Thank you ❣️

[nomadrodriguez]

Thank YOU!!! Never in my life have i thought that a short video with some animations could resonate with me so profoundly, and describe what i struggle with everyday since childhood, i was the kid who's always found to be at fault and a prime target for criticism, rarely appreciated and mostly ridiculed by my own family, never understood why!! and always thought they hated me, i would gnaw at myself and just sulk and try to figure out what was so awful about me, growing up preferring to hang out with friends all day than be at home, and i now realize that leaving that kid (me) to struggle alone with all those wounds unattended by an empathetic grown up must be the cause of my hypersensitivity towards criticism!! to this day i struggle and sulk with no defence whatsoever if faced with criticism, i wish i could turn back time and stand up for that child who was me, tell him about all the wonderful traits he posseses and that he can enjoy his life so much more if he believes in himself cuz thats the only person who matters....powerful video 👏👏👏