How to deal with criticism from negative or toxic people

Toxic people giving you criticism or negative feedback? Dealing with criticism can be painful. How do you deal with toxic or negative people? This simple and very effective technique will help you handle negative feedback or criticism at work or in any situation.

There’s no shortage of advice about how to react to negative people. Whether the critic is a boss or a co-worker, the same familiar guidance is consistently presented: Listen carefully, don’t get defensive, ask for time.

But what to do if the feedback gets toxic, aggressive, intimidating or confrontational?

[kittyv]

Thank you so much for the advice. In my life people throw destructive critism my way constantly, because I'm iether a 'youngster that doesn't know any better' or a 'female on her period' I have always been left to be humiliated in public by people who believe those things to make themselves feel better, and I never knew how to approach these situations besides just laughing it off or agreeing, my flight response if you could say. But now I understand that sometimes people will just say things because they want to attack your character, but the small bits of valid criticism they do give, I'll be sure to take that, and become a better version of myself. All about boundaries, and it's time I implement them. Thank you so much

[harishaneef]

I feel it is best to confront the toxic boss with questions and facts . When he says there are mistakes, ask him to point them out so you can make sure the mistakes are not repeated . Often such bosses will not be able to point out anything because their goal is not to give you a feedback but to simply demoralize you . So again, confronting them asking for facts often puts them on the back foot in most scenarios . The point to remember is never to ask for facts in a confrontational or aggressive way but in a very calm way as if you are genuinely seeking feedback to correct yourself . . When this happens, in most cases, you will find the boss thinking twice before getting nasty with you again . He knows you will ask for facts and that may make him look like an idiot

[debanjanborthakur]

No, you should reply. 'Well, from where I got the degree that should not be the topic of discussion rather I will take care of the spelling mistakes and I would request you to provide me with constructive criticisms rather than disrespectful remarks'. This is important because, closing and opening the wall wont stop the misdemeanor, it is advisable to speak up.

[mojoe]

This video was a very helpful piece of advice for me. I have a feeling though I will still have difficulty facing these kinds of criticism because I have no barrier when it comes to which words I allow to effect me and which ones I don't. Therefore I end up absorbing each bit of negative energy directed at me and engaging in an internal struggle to serpress my fight or flight instincts. For me the million dollar question would be not when, but HOW to put up those barriers in the face of feedback or criticism.

[egl]

So when someone makes a hurtful comment, what do you say? Nothing? I find if I say anything at all to defend myself, it just adds "fuel to the fire".

[TheMrPrism]

Thank you so much. This might save my internship.

[aaronmilnthorpe]

I understand the methodology behind this solution but find it difficult to implement. As human beings we're hard wired to respond in emotionally threatening situations, especially when voices are raised.

[mrimran]

What should be the response to a shouting match? Stay calm or shout back lol? What should be the response be ?

[User-zzyyxxvv]

This is very hard for me. May be I’m a sensitive person but it’s hard not to take it personal if someone is yelling, being rude or condescending etc… even if there is a feedback in there somewhere.

[a.m.pietroschek]

Admittedly, it is indiscreet, as I have no right to ask AND it is a little bit misplaced here: Did your Xlife benefit from looking like the son of Christopher Walken (one of the last Hollywood legends)? Rhetorical question! 🤔