THE NARCISSIST'S HOOVER

#narcissist #narcissismawareness Narcissists aren't always willing to let you leave the relationship in peace. Sometimes they will go to great lengths to suck you back into the relationship to regain control. Understanding why narcissists hoover their victims can help you protect yourself against the mind games they play to make you think that going back is a good idea.

Here is contact information for when immediate help with abuse or self harm is needed. It is recommended that you use a computer or phone that your abuser cannot monitor:

Emergency: 911
National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Crisis Text Line: Text "DESERVE" TO 741-741
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
YWCA - 202-467-0801
Canadian Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511
UK National Domestic Abuse Hotline: [phone]
South Africa POWA: 011 642 434/6
Australia: 1-800-RESPECT

[fabiopapalia]

My mother is an NPD woman. She is 72 now. They DO NOT CHANGE in a lifetime. Ah, sorry, i'm wrong. The become WORSE with age. Can you imagine the worst version of a narcissist? It's an old narcissist. Take care of yourself, y'all.

[carmenbrown]

After waking up to what was happening, I had the feeling that ex narcissist had been smearing me from almost day one.

[kianicole]

I will encourage those who are afraid of breaking up to realize that you are already alone. It took me years to see this. Please learn from my experience.

[time]

They stop hoovering after a while. Mainly when you serve no purpose to them anymore.

[almcelroy]

I went back to my narc friend after a two year absence (big mistake). He admitted that he had been doing a certain thing wrong and he was right and even though that wasn't the reason I stopped dealing with him, I let it go. What I should have heard was, "I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway". Within weeks we were back to business as usual. I eventually learned my lesson and severed ties for good. He tried a Facebook Hoover after over twenty years. I didn't buy it for a moment. He eventually disappeared. They NEVER CHANGE!

[km-ctrh]

This is one of the best videos I've ever heard on this topic. Gave me new insight. Thanks.

[pata]

My ex narc said he had 3 months to live with cancer. I went back and I found out at hospital appointment he was lying. Divorced him 6 months later after 37 years marriage.

[CedrickBagley]

Mine said that her grandma passed away. I'm not even sure that's true, but I'm sure that she didn't care that much about her grandma before.

[mariajacobs]

Thank you for making these videos! My narc ex is trying to get me back by using s*x as a tool because he probably knows that worked on me the last time I tried to leave. First he said he just wants to stay friends and know how i'm doing, that's all. Then he goes "i still miss you and want you so bad" etc. But it's not going to work this time because i know i can't go back. If i do, it'll be the end of me.

[almcelroy]

My narc friend deeply resented my move to Vegas. He hated the fact that he had lost control of me, of course, but he was also envious that I had done something to make me happy. He refused to acknowledge anything good about it. Fast forward twenty plus years and he finds me on Facebook after two decades of no contact. How does he try to Hoover me back? By acting all impressed by the fact that I live in the San Francisco Bay area. So phoney and obvious. I didn't fall for it or any of his other nonsense and he thankfully went away.

[dmcdmusic]

I’m hovered often, but simply never read it nor reply, everything you say is true. Good work.

[berict]

I have a 71 Dad who is a narc who claims he is only bi-polar. How wrong I was, left with figuring him out slowly. Thanks for the helpful videos. I figured out he's a narc and or possibly a psychopath. Very frightening individual to deal with.

[ligyasouza]

One narcisist i knew told me he found a buyer for a house i was trying to sell as a hoover technique.

[ninath]

When they start to devalue you its whats going on I will never allow a man to disrespect me in my face behind my back I don't know I treated treated that Physco the same way he treated me couldn't take it looking at his self mirrored him now Im the narc hes has a long history of many relationships that didn't work out saf keep repeating the same cycle ssme old things different people wow...

[collie]

I've set up specific email address for my narc which I check when I want, all other means are blocked. And I have a rule, never send reply at least 24hrs after you wrote it. I ended up with 200 drafts in my mailbox :) It helps.

[mezlandia]

The reverse-breakup texts… he finally did the values list I’d asked him to do, after I broke up with him. Because I care about broader humanitarian issues he said that “we aren’t spiritually compatible” due to his need to follow the Serenity Prayer for his ongoing recovery. It made no sense because he told me my empathy was performative and fake. I wasn’t coming over more than once a week so we “aren’t sexually compatible” either. I didn’t go see him enough because he kept disrespecting me, didn’t make me feel loved or special, and didn’t clean his house!

[JuniorWitter-vzmh]

Awesome insight. By the way, you truly look amazing.

[danovangrinnell]

I scorched earth.n here she comes again.Continue

[ianarn]

One of their flying monkeys came up to me and accused me of stalking her despite me only trying to talk to her three times in the last eight months. I nearly burst out laughing. She said “would you like me to talk to her to see if she’s willing to give you closure as she’s extremely concerned about you”. She’d phoned me to tell me it was “over” 8 months ago told me that she loves me but i don’t love her then slammed the phone down before i could talk. I’m guessing this demonstrates her grandiosity. The flying monkey was told that i felt that she’d made it clear that she felt nothing for me by her stonewalling and triangulation tactics with other men which was the cause behind the breakup she really had no reply to that and walked off. I really am going to have to stop going to venues that she goes to as i feel things are escalating to a whole new level of devaluation and abuse. No contact so that she can abuse one of her thirsty orbiters that she works soo hard to beguile.

[danovangrinnell]

Always luv listening to U Am gud trust me