Stop Gaslighting & Stonewalling | Is It Even Possible?

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Stop Gaslighting & Stonewalling | Is It Even Possible?

In this video, I am going to talk about...

- Why stonewalling & gaslighting occur
- Why you wrongly think she's incapable of changing
- How to stop the constant barrage of gaslighting for good

Struggling with gaslighting and stonewalling? You're not alone. Many men have taken the wrong advice when seeking a solution which results in a never-ending cycle.

Through my years of being a relationship coach, I've guided my clients through every possible scenario and given them the tools they need to not only rebuild trust but to take their relationship to heights it's never been before.

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🎁 [GET THE FREE GUIDE]
How to Properly Lead Conversations to open Up & Heal Your Partner’s Emotions

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OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:

How to Artfully Control Your Emotions in Your Relationship or Marriage

Michael's Client Story

Eve's Client Story

How to Stop Divorce By Avoiding The Paradox of Logic & Emotional Debt

What is a High-Value Man in Long-Term Relationships & Marriages? High-Value Men Defined

Collection Of Inspiring Client Stories:

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#geoffreysetiawan #gaslighting #stonewalling #saveyourmarriage

[GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)

[ChnaVirus]

I started watching Geoff’s videos last week. I’ve studied this guy like a book. The BPV, the relationship mountain, the emotional safety/trust. My girlfriend of 4 1/2 years and I split up almost a month ago. She didn’t know what she wanted, she was emotionally detached, and I was quick to blame her character at first. She didn’t want to be with me, she didn’t love me anymore, etc. but after watching Geoff, I’ve realized that none of those reasons were true. I was quick to make false interpretations, which turned to false assumptions that sounded good, but it just made the problem worse. Today I got ahold of my girlfriend, she answered, and I took initiative by trying to set up a time to speak with her. She accepted. The entire time we spoke, I kept my BPV on, I never once let my temper flare, and I looked her in her eyes as she was telling me how she felt. I did my best to make her feel like she had 100% of my attention. Ask questions. Paraphrase what you think she’s saying until you have a clear picture in your mind of what the problem is. We end up speaking face to face for 7 hours straight. I want her to see my changes before I fully commit again. Good luck fellas. If you truly want to change for your lady, it won’t be hard for you. If it’s too tough, then you aren’t in a good enough space to handle yourself, so how can you handle rebuilding a relationship? Keep your head up guys. Better days are on the way.

[MrFujin]

I'm currently going through a break up of a month now. And I've just stumbled upon your videos like yesterday. They have been very helpful. I want to change to be a better person and I prayed for God to help me on how to do so. And he showed me you. I'm having a hard time processing a lot of information. I miss my girlfriend so much. My love for her hasn't gone away. I was the main source of the pain as I was manipulative and controlling. My temper was bad and I was judgemental. I hurt her and her friends and I repent for it. I understand why she broke up with me. She said she still loved me and wanted me. It's been a month now and I watched your video on the anxieties. And I'm afraid of losing her. She's the only one who really knows me. And I truely love her. I didn't listen well and I was trying to be righteous instead of listening to her. I said mean things. And when the break up came I didn't handle it well and I was being pushy to get her to come back. I want to be a better man for myself. But I also want to be a better boyfriend and husband. I promised to love her no matter what. These videos give me hope I'm just not sure how to implement them well.

[RobertRiggin]

Projection of insecurities or own lacks is what I deal with a lot. I start questioning reality and my worth or purpose all because someone else's own insecurities are being projected on me as though I'm the one doing them, doing it to them or against them. Things I've literally brought up as unacceptable of how my ex speaks about me to the kids or in front of the kids and then she tries to make it seem as if I'm the person doing it or as if I'm the one that makes them do it. Everything in its current state is just toxic and I've got to continue working on detaching. I see and know the potential of how things could or would be as a healthy relationship and I've just got to personify that for myself and my kids and anyone else. I got to want to do and be the changes for myself and that's also been a hang up for me because of needing to becoming untethered.

[Anonymou]

Hey geoff, thanx for your advice! One of a kind! I reached out after 3 months of no contact. (Wanted to respect her wishes & change myself) were going on a date again! It were 3 really difficult months, but totally worth it. Best wishes !

[stevosd]

One of your best videos Geoff.. Excellent basics of a massive issue 👍

[datyellaman]

My own insecurities ruin my marriage, and I'm hoping we can still work things out, your videos are a huge help and I'm learning great tools to be a better man not just a better husband

[nlpx]

Just learned about stonewalling and this is the first vid i watched in regards to this topic. thank you very much for effort to provide knowledge in a very clear and understandable fashion.

[sherececocco]

Thank you for being in the 1%. Breathe of fresh air. I smile while listening to you communicate because of your positive insight. Thank you for your energy.
🙈🙉🙊

[cmrender]

Geoffrey, I have implemented this framework. However, there are people who tear a person down and they admit they are doing it and fine with it. That person is obviously acting out because of something (unless there is a medical problem). However, continuing to create an environment (digging deep, bulletproof vest, etc) after years of this tearing down, allows that person to perpetuate the hurtful behavior. It’s like being a doormat and the behavior gets more hurtful. As far as I seen, there isn’t much information on how to create that environment but also not enable a person to continue with their hurtful behavior. I’d really be appreciative to hear your thoughts or see some content around that. Personally and as I read comments from other videos, there are people trying to create the environment and getting more and more hurt.

[RobertRiggin]

My changing of the environment needs to be of being the light. Not being drawn into the negatives, identifying then for what they are but refraining from reacting... The refraining from reacting I'm mostly good at but when I get triggered I notice that we head right back into old circular arguments. Somehow hoping this time the discussion results in them understanding my side and me understanding their side but ultimately for them just reinforces why they don't think it can ever work out. Much of that probably comes from creating and trying to maintain justifications to reasons why it cant work. At this point even if I was doing or saying or being all the right things what I've seen is that I feel her determination to be done and free of me is perhaps as great as my hope or determination to show or convince her how good or better than before things could be of she would allow or encourage it (have an environment) to be so. I know I've got some ways to go still to reach a state of being a new and better person rather than feeling like I'm just trying to go through the motions and not having the resolve to be better for myself and my kids and not be driven by any thoughts to win her back. I really need to truly change. I can't expect different results if I feel I haven't actually become the changes I need. My reasons to want to change may be good but I need to detach from doing or being them for anyone but myself because that will only let me down and hurt me more in the long run and can't be sustainable or "real" change. I just haven't had that ahah moment yet that removes any alterior motivations on what to change or how to change.

[alexander_popovic]

Thanks for the video. One thing I don’t think it’s natural to blame character. It’s more Society behaviour.

[lindamolyneux]

Wow, we don't even realize that what we've accused others of, we do!
We don't deal with the mote in or own eye" when we are looking at the speck in our neighbor's eye...(Bible)
Ty Geoffrey!

[alshaifhir]

Hi all, my soon to be ex has always been combative, loud, disagreeable, and judgemental- of anyone who gets too close to her. Family, friends, etc eventually all end up avoiding her. She has a true talent for finding something you care about and using it against you. She recently got into "energy healing " and is now annoyingly diagnosing everyone else, of course not seeing all her failed relationships with everyone in her life, including her own children. I'm not sure how to even begin to proceed

[harikrishnanps]

Geoffrey you have provided a guide for opening up and healing your want to know more similar facts in long distance relationship .. how to open up her mind and reduce stonewalling.

[Riffa]

Would love to see a video about a partner that tells you to let them go. Can this even be fixed?

[joshsaundh]

Hi Geoffrey what should I do because I have not seen my girlfriend in 8 months and my girlfriend is not texting me and I have a crush on someone at school and she really likes me

[tylerporter]

So my wife asked for space yesterday and it hit me like a ton of bricks as to why she wanted space, I know what I need to work on, I need to be there for her emotionally and show empathy and show how much I care about her. Be her rock like I’m supposed to be and communicate with her. So if she asked for space but agreed to marriage counseling do you think that would be ok? Cause she will have to have contact with me for that

[rhinaherrera]

My wife have a lot of insecurities and she is very stubborn how do I work with her I do want my wife back and want the rest of my life with her but idk how to deal with her

[smashedwasp]

whats the point where you can explain certain issues and causes to why you were the way you were or what happened, is it always bad to say something like, "this was my perspective and these are the reasons i felt more moody during that time and acted like a jerk, im still sorry and i want you to know im not blaming you for anything either, this is just to help you understand my mindset back then and why i was like ___ or said ___"