5 signs of self gaslighting

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[violad]

This is such a CONFIRMATION.. i questioned my own reality, called myself naive and stupid, was guilty about not forgiving/healing fast enough for the one who hurt me to no longer feel any sense of discomfort or accountability. Once again.. thank you Dr Ramani ❤️

[cosmicgregg]

This is one of the hardest things to overcome when you've done it most of your life. I am a self gaslighter

[jorismeso]

Possible causes? Imposter syndrom
signs;
1. Always assuming you're the that made the mistake
2. Excessive apolagies
3. Negative selftalk about your capabilities
4. undercutting your own abilities on a daily basies
5. Minimise your achievements

[jodiburnett]

How many times have people told me, ” You’re so hard on yourself…”
This.
I was programmed to actually hate myself so yes, this resonates.
Thank
No more apologies.
No more calling myself bad names, challenging those shaming screams,
“Who Do You Think You

This is huge.

[McSpaddenator]

I do this. I'm a professional writer and wonder at times why I'm on a editorial team. I'm usually the smartest in the room. I'm smart because I read books to avoid my narcissist sibling. I'm learning to become more aware of what I bring to the table. I may be smart because of unfortunate circumstances, but I am still smart.

[duromusabc]

The narcissist self-gaslights to himself or herself too (and lying to himself or herself too ) - really crazy mindset they have!

[PenninkJacob]

❤❤❤ That's the biggest revelation I've ever had - realizing I always assume it's me that "did something wrong"...!!!! God forbid the narc "did something wrong"....

[Heather-xzfk]

My self gaslighting is about: how could I have done this differently so it would not have been such an awful situation. Dwelling on how I could have/should have/would have done it differently so it would have ended in a better way. Constantly ruminating.

[melissalund]

So true! If someone says something about you often enough you will be likely to believe it. I always trybto remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, which is that no-one can make you feel anything unless you consent.

[joshuawright]

Thank you sooo much. You have truly saved my life from narcissist abuse. Forever in debt. Thanks and Praise!!!

[rooserroo]

I thought this was normal behavior. I thought everyone does this. I feel like I could have done so much with my life if I didn't do this.

[brookelynnplanz]

I do all of these much. I really struggle with self gaslighting. People usually get annoyed at me for apologizing too much. 😢

[TheSaneHatter]

In two words, "Holy shit!" I couldn't have anticipated how well this describes me.
I came here just for the title, since I had no idea such a behavior existed, much less that it had a name. Now I see that this is exactly what family, educators, and peers conditioned me to do from practically the first day in school. Only now, as I approach middle age, am I even starting to get over these behaviors.

[nataliegentry]

I've done this. My parents were critical and I recognize my habit of second-guessing myself as a result. I'm glad I see this habit and that I'm now questioning when I question myself. Thanks for this video, Dr. Ramani!

[costelloandlizzievolk]

One of the worst gaslighting things from my mother that I internalized and then gaslit myself about, was when I did really well in a career training but she minimized and undercut it. The teachers said to me that I did really well and was talented. My moms response was ‘oh they just want your money for the courses’, instead of acknowledging my accomplishments. I had an aunt there who said ‘No not necessarily’. I appreciated my aunt standing up for me. But I still internalized what my mom said, having valued her opinion more, and felt foolish for thinking they actually thought I was talented when really they probably just wanted my money for training like my mom said. So I didn’t sign up for the further training. It’s a big regret. Thankfully I am learning that those are my moms issues, that she is wrong, and that I am talented. Pushing forward as best I can, learning to validate myself and rely on safe people like my aunt. Thank you 😊

[kamicrum]

Way, way back in high school, I decided IF I had to have a voice running through my head, it was going to be the best cheer leader for me ever! Worked fir me!

[NiijiAl-Haqq]

I used to shrink myself because I tired of others mumblings of, "Who does SHE think she is?" Then the apologizing for me just being my authentic self and being punished for it. Had to fight the inner dialogue that others wanted to impose on me because I invest in myself.
I read, I explore, have had varied cultured experiences and don't have myopic views and not a group think band wagoner. I'm at a stage in my life where it's about ME and it's okay for me to celebrate me and be selfish with my well being. I'm rebuking the negative chatter -- inner and outer.

[thesearemydogs]

Omg I’m so happy I watched this. People have been gaslighting me my whole life and I didn’t know it; especially since I had 2 strokes as a teenager. I always beat myself up for small mistakes and obsess over those little mistakes forever. I’m constantly downplaying my own accomplishments, to the point where I don’t even share with friends some of the things I’ve done that I’m really proud of because I’m just so used to people minimizing my accomplishments and making me feel shitty for not living up to societies expectations of what I should be doing in life.

[stoneylockett]

I was with a narcissist for 9 months and had to flee. I sacrificed a house a car and paid there rent. Still not enough. Your info saved me from more loss. Thank you. U saved me years of heartache .

[eringobragh]

This has been my experience since childhood and I’m 48 now.
I’m starting open ended trauma informed therapy in two weeks.
Thank you for explaining this
Dr. Ramani 🙏🏼