Autistic People at a Higher Risk of Sexual Abuse, Violence & Exploitation #asd

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd

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[t-man]

As an autistic male, although I understand autistic males can also suffer to a degree with these things, I recognize my privilege in for the most part not having to worry about being sexually assaulted. I can't imagine how unsafe the world must be at times and in some ways for autistic women. They need so much more support than they are currently getting in our society.

[brandonlee]

It does make sense. We can easily get stuck in these traps and be afraid to speak out because a fear of being homeless or not knowing where else to go.
Luckily im in a great situation and never experienced abuse

[dawnhughes]

Thank God this discussion and research is happening. Sex ed isn't enough tho.

[lisa_wistfulone]

I strongly suspect the numbers are actually much higher, due to the high percentage of undiagnosed autistic adults who would be erroneously added to the neurotypical group in research studies.
I was recently diagnosed at age 51, and constantly encounter others who report being diagnosed in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and even 50s like myself, particularly women whose social spins led to high masking ability. Many of us were sexually manipulated, exploited or abused in the pre-diagnosis years.

[IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

I know it would have helped me if someone had explained to me that my brother’s friends didn’t see me as a little sister and that they couldn’t be trusted to betray my trust in them. I’m autistic but no doubt neurotypical women relate to this.

[stuartchapman]

As a man I have had two "parteners" who exploited me for the help and practical support I could give them. They had no intention of giving me the love and support I was craving and offering in return either. I didnt have the tools to see through them. One wonan exploited me repeatedly, over a period of years, all the while having a relationship with another man. It was obvious to many NT people around me, everyone but me. Similar things have happened in my youth from a non sexual veiwpoint. Im more aware these days. Im able to assess people quickly. This power comes from our strengths in pattern recognition and is hard learned. Thankfully more children are diagnosed earlier. There's a lot to be done still. Hopefully this and future research (which frankly should be so obvious as to negate its necessity), will lead to better education. It happens with more obvious learning disabilities such as profound autism and down syndrome. However this still has a long way to go as well.

[gillb]

Diagnosed ASD and ADHD and spent a lifetime being affected by sexual absuse. Started at age 3 to 13 by my stepfather. Eventually, after my mother left me with my stepfather as a 'consolation' (she admitted she knew about the abuse while it was happening even though she called me a liar when I went public at age 17 after an overdose). Since then almost all of my relationships have been abusive or based on someone just wanting s*x. Fortunately I married my ex husband, who was a good man, and had 20 years of reprieve from abuse. But even that relationship broke down and he told me that he hated my ADHD and ASD ttraits. It broke my heart and my trust. Have been single ever since (14 years) and have not dated at all for the last 10 years as I dont trust myself to understand people's motivations and having been sexually and emotionally abused on numerous occassions. After 3 dates in a row where men were sexually abusive after no provocation at all, I just decided enough was enough and have never dated since, and I cant see that I ever will

[DaughterofDiogenes]

Yes yes yes! Direct instruction on enthusiastic consent! And frank and ongoing conversations about their risk. I have told my daughter directly that she has a target on her back because she is so anxious at the idea of someone not liking her, that she would let anything happen and be too afraid to say anything. We talk about men and boys pretending to be friends to get you alone. I’ve given her exact language used by predators, such as, you are so mature, I feel so connected to you, and anyone who ever asks her to keep a secret. And most importantly I’ve talked openly about my victimization as a child and young woman by adult men who used my fear and anxiety to harm me and how it never leaves you so it’s best to avoid any situation someone could use to harm you. It’s extremely important to be clear, frank, and honest about the dangers and let your child know they can always trust you, you will never judge them, and that you will always have their back no matter what.

[hiwall]

I think that applies to school and workplace bullying too, not just partners.

[badcaseofstripes]

People told me I was smart growing up but in many situations I was just totally naïve. I do believe being autistic lead me to be abused far more severely than my siblings including sexually, falling for manipulation and exploits and being trusting more than NTs.

[II.Justinian]

As Autistic male I was sexualy harrased by my fellow male students and also female adults. I even stop using metro because of that.

[beanbeanster]

Thanks for bringing topics like this up, Orion. It's definitely needed to be talked about and you're a straight to the point, articulate speaker on topics that other people wouldn't discuss and I appreciate you. Any chance you'd consider doing longer video on this topic? It'd be great for my teenage son and I to listen to together and then discuss further afterwards. Love your videos.

[rachelthomas]

Me, 7 years into my marriage 😭 getting

[MyWits_End]

Above all else (‘cause there are definitely multiple reasons), this would be the number one reason why I have been a hermit for the last 20 years of my life.

[lucaswintermote]

Too late for me but i hope we can save others from the same risk.

[Parmarees]

The reason is, abusers like easy targets. They like those who have difficulty communicating, because they can’t say no or ask for help. They like people with previous trauma for the same reason, and autistics unfortunately have a lot of that.

People who were supposed to look out for us as children all taught us that expressing our needs or standing up for ourselves would bring severe punishment, so we learned not to fight back, to break our backs to please others, all so we could receive a modicum of care and affection.

Some of us may be quite gullible, trusting, and assume people usually act in good faith; I used to be like this, and after years of trauma, I’ve become a mixture of cynical and still gullible.

A part of my mind still can’t comprehend that people want to hurt or deceive others for no reason and is utterly bewildered when people try to scam me or bully/harass me, while the reasoning part of my mind just accepts that people are shitty and is constantly on guard.

It can be difficult for autistic people to realise they’re abused until it’s too late , and many of us who are very quick to notice red flags are able to because of extensive experience. Some people say autistic females tend to attract abusers but I don’t think that’s necessarily true; (not a woman but a feminine-presenting enby).

I’ve met a lot of genuinely decent people, including men/boys, while out in public, or at school. However, those who seek to abuse others may pick up on our inability to read social cues and subtext or aussumption that everyone has the best of intentions.

[kathiarledge]

We can’t read the danger signs plus my parents couldn’t either. Those boys ruined my life.

[gatoradepig]

As an austisic woman ive realized that men and boys with autism aren't taught boundaries or consent as much as they should be. There was a boy in my school who was in special classes that would corner girls and try to touch them. And i as an autistic woman tend to attract autistic men, most of which cant even comprehend being told no.

[sciencenotsrigma]

Risky sexual behavior? But I thought people with autism were rule bound, rigid, and socially aversive. Just kidding! I have autism and I’m so glad you are addressing these myth-busting topics! I have had experiences that I have not heard discussed, anywhere else but THIS channel! ❤

[riarosemarimoto]

Adult ASD men have many sexual partners at same time. I know a guy who’s being sleeping with various women every few months. He’s never had LTR in 10 years. He’s very promiscuous. He doesn’t live near family and doesn’t keep friendships. His boss keeps overlooking him for promotions even though he’s good at his job. Because at 50 yrs old. He’s not a family man or give the image of good home life.