How To Tell if an Autistic Person Likes You - Dating An Autistic Series

Are you interested in an autistic person, and want to know if they feel the same? It's NOT as hard as you may think, you just need to know a few things!

In this video, we talk about the common slip-ups or mistakes you can make when trying to know if an aspie is into you, what the signs of attraction may be, and the flat out BEST way to tell.

There are many things that get in the way of autistic people finding love... the common traits often give people the wrong impression of us, the social anxiety is almost unbearable for most, and our lower natural social ability leaves us with little experience in the dating arena!

In this series of videos, I'm going to be explaining some of the difficulties with dating someone with ASD, common traits of autism you need to know, how to understand your autistic partner & finally what you/they can do to improve your relationship in the future

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[clownbbyeli]

My ex-boyfriend was diagnosed about a year after we broke up. A lot of things make a more sense now. I’ve started researching, as I am still very much in love with him, and I want try again. We have a date next week. Thank you for this video!

[Luciferwinchester]

As an autistic person, the way I went about things was I just made myself physically close to my crush. Like I'd ask to sit with them on the bus, or ask if we could sit together during lunch/class. I just was like, "well we'll have interactions if I'm close". And it worked! Started dating in highschool and have been married for 5+ years now

[InResponseOutreach]

I trust people with autism so much more than neurotypicals ok and I am not autistic but I got a girl who is and I absolutely adore her and take care of her because I know what I’ve got a lot of people she dated have abused her but I’m gonna show her what love is I’m gonna be there for her through everything

[chrissy-]

My husband is on the spectrum and when he was courting me he took his time. In fact at one point I wasn't even sure anymore that he wanted to be more than friends. But patience won out and we've been together over twenty years 💕

[JDMimeTHEFIRST]

As an autistic woman, I’d say if we want to see you again, that’s a sign. Spending our time with you, even moving our routine around is a good sign. I’m also not the one to make the first move because of my fear of rejection.

Also, I don’t know how to flirt so I try to be funny. 🤓. Unfortunately, that turns a lot of neurotypical dudes off. Guess they don’t like funny women. I also noticed they hate it when you show interest (which makes no sense). I guess they want women who hate them and pretend to have no personality. So I tend to assume most people won’t like me unless they tell me otherwise even when they pretend like they are interested in me. Neurotypicals often do the opposite of what they mean. They could smile but actually don’t like you. It’s very confusing and exhausting honestly.

[ciaraskeleton]

As an Autistic person, at first if I like you, I'll almost seem totally not interested. I won't look you in the eye, I'll look at the ground or anywhere else. I'll distract myself and stand a little far away because I can feel your energy and being too close is too much. I get really nervous, and have a massive nervous system response.

After a while I tend to be more physically engaged, but it takes for me to feel safe and comfortable to do that, so it can take a bit of time. Sometimes I don't know how to 'flirt' directly, or how to start a conversation with you, but not cause I don't like you (the opposite). Sometimes If I really like someone, it's so much to process that I actually need to take a big step back, and sit with my own feelings in order to process the intensity of how I feel. Then I'm able to take a step forward.

When I start getting more serious with someone, you might expect me to want to be close to you all the time, or expect me to want to be with you 247, but this type of pressure puts me off. I have never been able to do codependency, it forces me to mask which leads to resentment and total burnout. I have no room to fall in love if you don't let me. The more I like someone, the more serious I am, the more time and space I need to process. Cause it becomes real, and I take it seriously when making a decision. Also being Autistic I can't tell straight away or ever if someone actually likes me, so for me to even start my process of integrating you into my life, I have to be quite sure that it's mutual, and that can take...a while. 😂

Any fellow Autists out there had someone say 'i really like you' to your face and you've been like 'same!' but you still don't know if they mean like, love, interested, wanna date, sexual? Like unless someone spells it out for me, I will sit there, not having a clue if you're properly interested or not.

If you love an Autistic person, biggest thing you can do is give space, time, patience. You'll get the absolute best of us if you can give us those things. We know it's hard to understand, but we really do care about you, more than we are able to always show or communicate. ❤

[richarddunleavy]

Dating was always one of the more frustrating aspects of being on the spectrum because my thinking tends to be very black and white and i would much rather be up front about how i feel and what my intentions are. Unfortunately that can come across as too forward or overbearing. Then you run the risk of not being noticed at all because you didnt try hard enough 😆 now i dont mask at all anymore so its basically what you see is what you get and I've actually found that makes things a good bit easier 👍 😆

[darricshhh]

I met my wife a few years before we started dating. She thought i was creepy cause i just stared at her from across the room most of the time. We have now been married for 20 years. I was just diagnosed last year. It put our entire relationship into a new light for both of us.

[sparks]

I'm a recently diagnosed woman who thought I was normal for several decades. I'm now in a relationship with a man like myself.He insists on taking things slow. Ive never felt this way before. Safe. We "speak" the same language. It's overwhelming these feelings. He is a wonderful, kind, caring, strong, man. The sadness comes from comparing his behavior to what I learned about normal relationships. Ive done so much work to figure it all out. I'm very expressive and emotional thru text. Verbally and body language will not happen for me. Thank you for these videos, I watch several autistic you-tubers regularly as I'm learning about myself also.

[JH-kwzy]

Im an autistic woman and everyone thinks I'm flirting with them. But when I like someone I just make sure to do things for them and ask them to do things for me (my love language is acts of service) and hopefully thats not manipulative. But it worked and now i am engaged!

[SASHAMIRANDAA]

Thanks for mentioning the details in this video, I've been talking to someone recently that has autism and he seems really chill, compliments me, and will offer me Starbucks and has been talking to me more now with confidence especiallywith texting as well. I did find him mysterious at first and really shy but I did notice he does open up more with me and surprisingly smiles and laughs around me more. Overall he seems like a nice guy 👍

[herkcollins]

My boyfriend has Asperger's Syndrome and has told me of the fact that it's hard to flat out lie and therefore I could trust him when he told me that he was falling in love with me. I am so in love with him and have the challenge of him not wanting me to post on his social media about our relationship, not even "Good morning babe" or "I love, have a good day". Not introducing me to his family and friends, though letting me know that they know about us, has also been an interesting thing to deal with. I've never been in love with anyone on the spectrum before and though it's so different, I love him so much that I am willing to wait until he feels like he is comfortable introducing me. I do notice that he asks my opinion a lot and can't always get his thoughts out without needing help to find the right word sometimes. We share a lot of the same interests and are even both October babies and Libras. We have so much in common that it seems like it's no coincidence that we met. Thanks for this video, it was quite helpful. I've been mistreated, used, and lied to in the past and have a hard time learning to trust because of it, so I was at first afraid I was seeing red flags when I couldn't post in a loving way on his wall or be introduced to his family and friends.

[FlamingCockatiel]

I dated an autistic guy for nearly six months, bonded with him in a way I had with no one else, and was heartbroken when he ended it. As it turns out, I'm likely autistic myself, as some of these signals apply to me. Yes, body language seems unclear to me at times.

[leenaparsons]

My body language is probably very closed off around someone I like because being around that person is likely more overstimulating than it is to be around other people, at least at the beginning.

[moniquem]

This is so helpful. Thank you so much! I will trust his words completely from now on, rather than doubt them when some other sign doesn't seem to match.

[Moisesireyes]

I've started seeing someone with high functioning Aspergers and this has been such and delightful and informative video. I'm excited to talk to her and understand how she thinks and what makes her her on a completely new level to me.

[nostromo]

Thank you so much for doing these videos. I have just begun dating a man who is autistic. I realize that I've probably been misunderstanding him about some things (lack of cues). He is very open in discussing his autism with me though. Your video gives me further talking points with him so I really thank you. He's a very nice man. ❤️

[queenshipwomen]

Thank you for this upload. Wonderful information ❤️❤️❤️

[yanamarte]

I found this video real, and also compassionate. Yep, with a lot of patience, one can get along. My beloved is not Asperger's, he is fascinatingly a HFA of the PDA-type. Which makes any initiative on my side counter-productive, triggering his oppositional drive, nothing personal. And funnily enough I am a HFA of the PDA-type, too, or so I suspect. So any initiative on his side certainly triggers my oppositional drive ha ha ha. So after a few attempts on both sides, we both gave up, and now we both wait. Going for the fourth year. Waiting for what? Godot? Lost it, we no longer remember. We just let time flow and keep the communication channels open. We act as old friends. It's still very nice.

[lyehonghyl]

😭I know for sure he's interested in me but he's so private about it and when i try to ask him he's always so vague about it too... ( the video was great, even though all the signs wasn't applied to me & him ) he doesn't complement me unless i ask him because he doesn't feel the need to judge whether or not I'm good looking, he doesn't even take complements too 🤨he said he doesn't feel any better when someone complements him.
Again i know for sure because, he asks his parents to drive him to my house, he tries (miserably but still)😂 to have a conversation, and i don't know i just know it 🤷🏽‍♂️