5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship

In today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'm discussing signs of a toxic friendship.

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[ajstudios]

#6. They drain the hell out of you, to the point where you'll secretly get tired of all their nonsense.

[perennementedistratta]

6) You've always been there for them, but the moment you needed them the most they disappeared.

[battlevain]

Feeling drained when in their company. You dread seeing them and need to recover when they have left.

[koixruu]

The fact I have a journal about every time they have SEVERELY wronged me and caused me mental pain is already a sign that they’re toxic. I can’t let them walk all over me but I have people pleasing tendencies

[icymike]

I let go of a best friend of 6 years, we were gaming buddies. We had great times but he made fun of my looks, my past, and my sex life, or lack thereof. I've told him how I feel about it but he didn't seem to care, but that's his whole MO. A few days ago he was just relentless with the insults and I had to leave. Told him I'm going to take time away and why. His last message was, "fine... consider yourself all alone".

I'll miss the good times we had but I can't stay in a friendship where I'm put down all the time. He unfriended and blocked on all accounts but he must think I'm the asshole for standing up for myself.

It's hard but I gotta do it for me.

[maced]

I've had a couple friends like this. I think my relationship with them still has a negative affect on me.

[DREWTHEEMPATH]

When you realize your fri-ends just used you for your resources and energy, once you cut off contact they start acting all innocent like there all there for you😂😂😂😂 just keep ignoring these lost souls ❤

[ajo]

Something that I noticed was my own behavior. I was becoming the flaky friend, which is unusual behavior for me. I usually am so excited to hang out with my friends and feel so happy when they call or text. I’m not a particularly social person, I love my alone time, but I feel safe with my healthy friends and when I get a call or text from them I’m still happy. But this person, I would genuinely jump when I saw a text or got a message from her. I didn’t want to spend time with her because she always wanted me to commit to something, like an unpaid project, trip, or another get together. I felt like everything I said could be used against me as some sort of verbal contract, so I had to be careful. And yet she would often get me to express to her my vulnerabilities. (I needed to work on my boundaries clearly, and I had my own issues to work on.) She once tried to pressure me into drinking when I didn’t want to. Luckily I got out of it, but I had to say no like five times, and then she acted like I was a coward or not really a grownup. So, whenever she wanted to get together, I was always scared. And if I said no, she would guilt trip me. I paid more attention to what I was doing wrong in the friendship, and I didn’t take the time to consider that she was not healthy for me to be around. I blocked her on all accounts but I can see on my blocked voicemails that she has been trying to contact me. I moved, so she doesn’t know where I live or even what my car looks like. If she did, I get the feeling she’d show up unannounced and I suspect she would try stalking me. She doesn’t respect boundaries. My gut knew something was wrong. And I didn’t listen to it.

[nothanks]

My best friend suddenly changed (or just showed her true colours) and one day stopped caring about anything good happening in my life, would dismis it as fast as possible. But, would be in her element if bad things were happening in my life. She'd also often criticise me as well. This went on for a while before I finally told her how I felt, and she exploded and told me it was my fault, that I was in my own little world, etc... making up fantasies. That was it for me. I'd had enough.

[ggx]

This happens to me with two of my close friends. I’m still getting over them

[lv]

I feel like this may be both me and them :/

[chickenlady]

I just left a friendship in October, cuz I felt she had stepped over my boundaries and I felt anxious around her... And I had felt so sad for months and these days I'm feeling a bit better :)

[rea]

That’s how my “best friend” is I should’ve left the friendship sooner or realized sooner it’s just hard to let go we have been friends for 6 years and I’ve just realized how toxic she is whenever she is with her other friends I feel like a ghost all she does is talk to them and leaves me out i should’ve just called quits when she body-shammed me with her other friend because she though it was “funny” it made me feel insecure (even though she’s the same size as me maybe even a little bigger) the reason she said I was fat was because the swings were shaking as I went up in the air. She also said to me when that happened, that I should go to the gym. Oh and can’t forget the time she dropped me for a week because I “betrayed” her for not hanging out with her at recess because she was hanging out with some chick that likes to gossip ab me. When we first became friends I was getting bullied by her other friends and she just laughed with them. I guess the reason I never let go was bc she was the only one I had but now I have much better friends that aren’t toxic but I’m still friends with her it’s just it easy to tell her that I don’t want to be friends with her anymore I will probably tell her once school starts and she decides to leave me out again and make me feel like absolute crap. But I will definitely say it to her face because every time that she drops someone (including when she dropped me for a week). She’s done it Over text because deep down inside she is jealous and Insecure . And I know that because every time I’ve had a crush on a boy or they’ve liked me she didn’t really care and acted like they didn’t like me at all. It’s really toxic and draining for anyone realizing they have a toxic friend don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself you will go way father in life than them you WILL find new friends I promise

[potato_LOL_HERE]

I'm just so sad about my friends... they gossip about me behind my back and also one time when I cried because I can't find my book, they didn't help me instead they roll their eyes. They all team up to make fun of me and I'm alone. 😢😢😢😢 I cried many times in my room because of them 😢😢😢😢😢😢

[darlinn]

I had a friendship like this. I loved this person a lot and cared for them but it became draining when I went through a car accident. They were more upset that I had a hard time responding to texts rather than being worried that I was recovering from a concussion. :)

[laney_]

I was friends with someone for 8 years and I just recently stopped being their friend due to the emotional problems they have caused me :) So uh basically don't take shit from trashy people <3

[unconditionally_loved]

Oh 5th is so relatable... also she says that i'm her best friend.. hell no.. i don't feel like that... i directly said no i don't consider you as my best friend... i thought thank god now it will be less annoying... but no even after rejecting twice she still drain the shit out of me... also expecting favors from me like we expect from a best friend... also it's such a one sided friendship... i rarely seek her help... because i never feel comfortable with her... finally i decided to put boundaries... and i legit save her number as "" keep within limits ✋"" now i'm not gonna allow her to make me angry all the time... 😌

[bman]

1. Yes, they pass my boundaries all the time. And I tell them to stop and then they keep doing it.
2. Yes, my friend does not celebrate my successes. They will be like good job. But it does not feel genuine. Then they try to do better than me and brag when they beat me.
3. Yes, she tries to make me believe things about my other friends that is complete BS.
4. Yes, when I am mad they go and get back at the person I was mad at. But it feels like they are trying to do it to redeem themself of what they have done in the past.
5. Yes, I cry about things they say to me because they hurt. I don’t want to end the friendship because I am scared they will be mad at me

[arthurmoganshat]

Your always there for them but they are never their for you.

That's the hardest thing to realize that your "freinds" aren't your freinds. It feels like your there personal therapist and you can't say know to them even though you yourself are hurting and know that no one will ever listen becuase when ever you try to vent they just look over it. They treat your problems like nothing when you give them all your energy from theirs.

[skeletonrose]

I just broke a toxic friendship . And i’m so sad rigth now