Narcissistic Family Scapegoats: Core Struggles They Face Growing Up

Gain a clear understanding of the painful struggles scapegoats face in childhood and then in adulthood- unless they do something about it.

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[crawfish-fossil]

I love when the tables get turned and it becomes evident the scapegoat has all the gifts and talents

[sharonjones]

Wow. They look negatively at me, so they don’t have to look negatively at themselves. THAT, is powerful for me!!!

[Latoree]

What is so unimaginable is even in my late 60's they act like nothing wrong ever happened.
I've exited the triangle long ago. What I say is "Let Them" say what they want.

[writer]

My husband and I are the scapegoats in our families. Once I was financially able to move out of my parents' house, I limited contact with everyone. I'm even estranged from my parents; My husband, however, is still trying to make his family "see" that he is a good, loveable son. After 5 years of watching my husband be trampled on over and over--and also be treated like crap for marrying the scapegoat--I've had to step away from my in-laws. My husband has yet to accept that his role in his dysfunctional family will never change, and I can't help him see that; The only thing I can do is provide him with the family he never had growing up.

[susie]

#5 You don’t even need to be present for what happened to be blamed.

[RaptureReadyforJesus-qvql]

I always thought I was the strange one because I never fit in with the family. But I was their gift from God.

[GilbertFleming]

This so SO on point for me. I was programmed to be a scapegoat. Then, I found myself becoming a scapegoat in other situations. I didnt know any different! I spent 10 years in a fundamentalist church, being treated as a scapegoat!

[amberfuchs]

I'm the "troublemaker" for pointing out the dysfunction and trying to hold people accountable for their behaviors. If me calling out abuse, neglect, and dehumanization makes me a villain, then so be it. I'll never stop.

[HomeFrendsten]

In some case the gifted and talented children are scapegoated

[carmenliimatta]

Spot on! Put the pain of the family system on one member so no one else has to confront their own issues.

[elizabethandiosa]

Abuse always escalates and it never stops with those types. I was the good scapegoat, meanwhile they were covering up each other's gross abuses, theft, lies, deceit, physical and sexual abuse plus closet alcohol and drug abusers. I gradually distanced myself and dumped them. Best thing I did for myself along with counselling.

[joelgilmer]

Omg, I’m not alone.
At 58 years old I was strong enough to “get out of the triangle”. It’s over, I’m at peace now.

[lisabowden]

This is so true. I’m the scapegoat. My brother is the golden child . Yet, he has been in and out of rehab, stole from my mom, me, and other family. Had an affair on his wife, and this is my families token child.
I’ve never caused a minutes trouble, graduated college, successful and prosperous, but none of my family can stand me . Yet, I’m the scapegoat, telling the truth, and never been dependent on any of them, ever .

Make it make sense. The only things I can come up with is 1) they cannot control me . 2) I don’t need them, and 3) they may be jealous.

[LiftingUrVeil-LUV]

I was scapegoated by both parents on both sides of the family. I was the sensitive gay black male in the south so it was easy to make me the scapegoat on both sides. It took 40 years to finally walk away

[enigmalfidelity]

I am the scapegoat in almost all my relationships.
Family and friends.
After 12 years of disconnect, i attempted to rekindle some friendships.
Just a week ago, i attempted to talk to my mother. A few minutes in to the conversation, and i was being accused.
I am done trying. I have my new family, and thats all i need.

[ketherwhale]

I’m so Leary of narcissistic abuse and gas lighting that I completely need to merge with the higher Self and get out of this S. Show.

[jeffreyjackson]

The odd man out- exactly! I moved back to my hometown and around my family, and for nearly 5 years, I felt like a stranger.

[goodenoughgirl]

Out of the triangle. “You can’t sit at our table.” Well ha ha. I don’t want to. Not anymore anyways. Lol.

[siat]

Best way is to limit contact with these toxic family members. They will never see you, not matter how hard you try. They will see only themselves and their own needs. Get them out of your life no matter what. They don't care and they never did! You need to surround yourself with people that care and create your own circle of people that are worth it.