Narcissistic Family: Deep-Rooted Struggles The SCAPEGOAT Faces

In this video, I delve into some of the painful and constant core struggles scapegoats face in toxic families.

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[grayscar]

We don't hv a family to lose in the first place is what I'm learning. An unhealthy family dynamic might as well be a non-existant one

[TheGuniversek]

Narc Family is such a generational curse. It ends with me

[sage_forensics_]

🙏💜 As a Scapegoat who has gone No Contact with my family, including some extended family, I can tell you that many (if not all of these "fears") will go away or improve with No Contact and time to heal. You CANNOT heal while you are still being abused. It's like living a game of Whack-A-Mole...and you're the Mole! No Contact allows you to find clarity and Peace of mind; it is not a form of punishment. It is self-preservation and setting a boundary.

For me, the decision became clear when I realized I was the only one trying to have a healthy relationship, and doing so was making me ill. It was sucking the LIFE out of me! I was drowning, swimming for the surface, and my family was continuously and repeatedly pulling me back under. THIS is WHY we go No Contact. There is Peace away from the Chaos...one day at a time...stay strong, y'all! 🙏⚔💜

[Ebeling]

As the scapegoat and oldest and only female child of my family, I'm just now learning about the damage that was done during my childhood. I was always afraid of my narcissistic dad and my mom never intervened just went along with him. I'm now 72 and am learning about how to heal. Thank you for your videos that have been helping me wade through all crappy childhood experiences.

[Elianeb]

My life as a scapegoat was no-life, no-self, no-history.

[jillcookerly]

Especially when "family" are supposed to be the people that "love" you. It's easy to believe there is/must be something wrong with you.

[LaneBelle]

The most painful experience I’ve ever had was family scapegoating. I was already going through other things and they kicked me while I was already down. I removed myself, I don’t speak to 3/4 of my immediate family members.

[nancyP]

I'm my family's scapegoat. I have gone No Contact. It was the only way to save myself. I can't believe I made it through my childhood. The smear was and is still terrible, but I stay way from all them and their tactics. Still working on myself as I didn't know anything about Narcissism to save myself early in life. Damage has been done, but I'm feeling freer from them. I call myself an Escape goat now. Haha.😊

[etaokha]

I am the scapegoat who escaped and 5 years no contact. As an adult I am a cycle breaker and love my kids unconditionally and ive healed

[effthamatrix]

I tapped out on my nest of narcs/family a year ago- walked away from not one but two sizeable inheritances, and still worth it!! Can’t put a price on peace ✌️

[Joy.]

Projection … told I’m a liar, and that I have a bad memory

[allwayscgood]

My families scapegoating is so weird and subversive and discreet that people think I’m the crazy one. I’m done protecting them and compromising myself. I have to save myself and my son.

[debbiekillewald]

Yes. I wish I could've known about this in my 20's. I thought I was the only one in the whole world. I didn't know what scapegoat meant.

[darinsmith]

With me being the scapegoat I tolerated and still do tolerate too much unacceptable behavior.

[igitha..._]

I was recently uninvited from my brothers wedding... just looked up family scapegoat half an hour ago... apt & well timed....

[elenazenzolo]

My family ruined my whole life, I had no childhood and still made me feel guilty for leaving. I started a new life and certainly did not miss me, the few times I paid a visit still found the time to verbally abuse me, and so on the phone. They never changed. It was truly sad, but had to put a stop to all this and leaving was the right thing. They could not face it and this is the only reason they miss me. I had no affection from my parents at all and my brother was taken better care of. I now have a new 'family', my best friend and his mum cared about me more than my own family and made me feel like a human being. Friends welcome, family by appointment, really so so true

[shirleydavis]

A projected scape goat can lead to dotor appointments, surgeries, chronic pain, chronic disorders, depression, financial despair, and worse, self-break down to just give up. Well, I am working on reversing all these ruined attributes. I am able to be a happy true me.

[kobra]

I've thought today, my relatives only found acceptable the version of me who DOESN'T like me. Whenever I was becoming more confident and enjoying myself, not bc of their support, but bc the self development I was doing, the tension and resistance increased. I was also surrounded by friends who were used to me having low self esteem and when my real self popped out, they acted hostile. Not enjoying people who don't want me to like me anymore. #teamme 😂
Thank you so much for recommending Jay Reid book ❤. It's awesome lecture.

[pavla]

I always felt that my toxic family wanted me to want to be around them so that they could reject me - I guess that made them feel superior . Going NO CONTACT often ends up being the only card to play to escape the abuse and craziness .