10 Reasons You're Struggling to Get Over a Narcissist

Getting over a romantic relationship with a narcissist can feel like an uphill battle that never ends.
Here, we explore the 10 reasons why moving on from a narcissistic partner is so challenging, even after they've discarded you. From the love bombing and trauma bonding tactics they use to the gaslighting and manipulation that shatters your self-esteem, we'll uncover the toxic dynamics that make narcissistic relationships so addictive and difficult to heal from.
You'll understand the inevitability of being cruelly discarded and devalued once the narcissist is done with you.
Learn the signs of narcissistic abuse, the long-lasting effects it can have, and practical tips to reclaim your power and start your healing journey after enduring this emotional rollercoaster.

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Author, and Life Coach with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach without revealing confidential information.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your emergency services.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.

* Timestamp *
Introduction (0:00)
1) You're Hooked on the Love-Bombing Highs and Lows (1:06)
2) When Reality Shatters (4:01)
3) Accepting That the Idealized Persona was a Merge Mirage (5:08)
4) Unbreakable Loyalty Chains (6:48)
5) Constantly Second-Guessing your Decisions (7:11)
6) Fury's Burning Embers (7:38)
7) The Hoover Maneuver (8:14)
8) Distrust's Bitter Aftertaste (9:02)
9) Being Cut Off from Your Tribe (10:02)
10) Doubting Your Reality (10:30)

#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism #npd #narcissistic #femalenarcissist

[EdfromCanada]

It was extremely difficult to leave the narcissist because when it was good, it was unbelievable. But, when her dark side emerged it was debilitating and it sucked the life out of me. I now have a simple 3 stage test: 1. Trust. If I cannot trust her, I'm done. 2. Consistency. I will not accommodate, off the chart, mood or behavioral swings and will not walk on egg shells for anyone. 3. Overt disrespect. Boom, I will deep six and ghost her immediately. Life is too short to accept this. This took years of building my own self confidence and strong sense of self in order to evolve to this state of self preservation.

[carparthero]

as an experienced survivor of narcissist abuse from family and friends.
here's my two cents - the only regrets that newbies to narcissism should have are:

-that you did the best you could at the given time with what you knew.
-that you were a good person giving care and empathy to the wrong person.
-that once you know who and what you are dealing with, spending a single minute longer than you have to with them.

be unapologetic and ruthless with boundaries and live your best life.
let karma take care of the narcissists, because eventually, all rotten fruits will fall off the tree.

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[ace]

I’m a psychiatrist and treat victims of narcissistic abuse. What Lise says is correct. If you need treatment, reach out to therapists and psychiatrists. You cannot truly heal from just watching videos. Narcissistic abuse is very serious. It should be criminalized. I wanted to also mention. I’m a trained psychiatrist in this area and recently got duped by a covert narcissist I met at a meditation center and I can tell you the emotional damage she caused me has been extremely difficult to get over and I fully understand Cluster B pathology and treat patients with this daily. I truly don’t believe the average person can heal from this trauma without help. If it is hard for therapists to overcome the abuse, I can’t imagine the degree of destruction they have on others. They cause severe structural damage and to ignore treatment is not a good idea. It’s worse if you are healthy, have secure attachment or have never personally experienced the (covert) depth of such pathological behavior. Today more and more people are being damaged by narcissists because social media and improper parenting is breeding more of them. You don’t want their trauma to you to damage every aspect of your future or future relationships. It will creep up in ways you won’t have any awareness of and that’s why it’s important to talk to professionals licensed in the field. Please find medical providers in your area for treatment.

[bronwankhan]

I was involved with a female covert narcissist who initially presented herself as caring and charming. However, as time went on, her true nature revealed itself through her passive-aggressive comments and hypersensitivity to minor issues. She consistently displayed a lack of empathy towards me, and her behavior was contradictory to my emotional state - my happiness seemed to infuriate her, while my unhappiness seemed to satisfy her. Her actions and reactions were draining and toxic, and I eventually realized that the best way was to extricate myself from the relationship to protect my own well-being.

[Henryism]

Another factor is that they always seem to get away with what they do. This is particularly glaring when dealing with the sadistic cruelty of a malignant narcissist. They always have an endless supply of enablers and naive sycophants that allow them to happily carry on with their lives while your left picking up the pieces of your self esteem. You're left asking yourself how they manage to pull it off. Professionally they tend to do quite well but their personal lives are often dysfunctional. Their children often either grow up to be the same and the cycle repeats itself or they end up resenting them.

[magikjoe]

What she did has set me all the way back to my childhood. I can't tell anyone what she did, such is the level of shame and disgust I have about it. I can no longer function.

[casey]

I feel like my life lacks purpose after my narcissistic relationship ended. My sole purpose for months and years became to make my partner proud of me, to please my partner, to get on their "good" side, because maybe then they'd treat me right. Ever since I got out, I find myself feeling a lack of purpose towards anything. Life seems dull and lacking excitement, and everything seems pointless.

[allanjaymartirez]

The way Lise described it is to vividly accurate: "...gripped by nostalgia, longing to go back to that perfect illusion..."

[NondoPondo]

I just wanted to add that in the absence of what is essentially a demon possessing your life through the most horribly negative ways imaginable, you will blossom like a rose. 🌹

[alwaystwoam]

Never have I watched something so spot on to my experience.

[TheSillymansam]

7 years lost and now i avoid being attached to anyone. Even if it is someone who i am interested in I have self doubt/hatred and end up avoid that person until they loose interest.

[daedalusjones]

Wow, that’s a very honest thing to say, that watching videos even like your own, can become your next addiction and can keep you tethered mentally to your abuser. Kudos to you for this honesty and integrity.

[thenrylee]

One of the problems I had with my gf, a covert narcissist, was her inconsistency on all things, major and minor. Monday's rules didn't apply to Tuesday and Tuesday's rules were scrapped if the wind changed. Then there were the "wild cards". I never could match her insults. I never saw the upside to being that cruel or going public with that kind of verbal haranguing. Fighting fair came second to winning at all costs.

[ChrisPTY]

I broke up with my covert narcissist girlfriend 2 weeks ago after five years of a relationship that was nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster filled with endless manufactured drama, fights for no reason, and extreme jealousy. I'm glad I finally made it out. Luckily, I educated myself on these topics, making it easier to spot the red flags. She showed traits of both BPD and Covert Narcissism.

It took me almost an entire year to mentally check out of the relationship while learning about dark triad traits and manipulation in general to understand the thought process of these kinds of people and how to deal with their nonsense. I broke up with her and blocked her on everything. She has tried to hoover me back, but I am far too gone from this child's play, and her attempts are futile. In the end, my regret is, as some might imagine, not breaking up sooner.

[demigaines]

Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This
My Reasons It Was So Very Hard To Leave The Narcissist
1/ I Was So Convinced I Could Change The Narcissist
2/ I Was So Manipulated
3/ I Had No Identify Outside The Relationship
4/ Fear Of Retaliation
5/ I Became Addicted To The Narcissist
6/ Severely Trauma Bonded
7/ Low Self Worth
8/ The Fear Of Being Alone
9/. Emotional Attachment
10/ Struggling With Going No Contact
Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal..

[NondoPondo]

There is hope. After time you will miss them less. I'm past 3 months and I even quite drinking and smoking weed. Was I a mess to start with? After 33 years you bet I was a complete basket case. However now I even got over bipolar-ism. So if I can heal so can you. Good luck folks. I wish you the best.

[scottseitz]

I’m sure I’m not the first person to suggest this but totally deactivating social media during the recovery process is crucial. I remember years ago I had a breakup and my ex totally blocked me on all social media at the time. I was angry about it then but looking back she did me a tremendous favor..

[manofmayhem]

I feel in love with her at first sight I was screwed from the start. I can’t see myself with anyone else or can see anyone as beautiful as her. The worst is she’s gotten away with it. It’s too the point I’ve had to get on antidepressants I’ve completely lost my mind, and myself I can’t do anything to get her out of my soul 😭😭😭

[salahbrahim]

I'm going through the process right now
I loved her so much and she was a narcissistic girl
She gave me everything and took everything .
I hope I find someone who deserves my love.

[HopeFaithExpect]

Been a challenge. Discarded 6mos ago. Ended 8.5yrs together. She monkeybranched to some simp. Been strict NC. No hoovers. It gets better i promise yall. Focus self. Level up. Do your bucket list. Pray. Youll get free 🦅