7 Simple Habits of Healthy Relationships

Having healthy relationships often takes work. But it is often worth it because when we have strong and healthy relationships we go through life feeling more loved and supported - and who doesn't want that?? Here I teach you 7 simple habits that will make your relationships better - any of your relationships.

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[chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Coach! Shifter here. Great video as always. I took down some notes for those who appreciate that.

1. To try to understand first, instead of just trying to be right. (Seek to understand)
2. To offer support first and suggestions later if and when appropriate. (People just want to feel heard and sometimes people might want to hear suggestions)

3. To ask questions instead of making assumptions. (Help me understand why you did that?)
4. To let yourself just apologize (when an apology is due) instead of justify.
5. Being able to ask for what we want instead of getting resentful when the people around us don't mind read.
6. To point out things that people are doing well instead of focusing only on the things they are not.
7. To communicate clearly instead of passive aggressively, aggressively or even not at all. (just stuffing it down and then becoming angry and resentful.)


I think number 6 connected with me and I committing myself to do that more often and to work on mental filters. I know we tend to filter all the good stuff that people do and focus on the bad...so I want to filter the bad stuff more often and point out what others do well.

[treearoha]

I can't even remember what it was, but very early on in my current relationship, my boyfriend had done something unintentionally that really hurt and upset me. And instead of expressing how what he did made me feel, I became hostile towards him, and when he asked me what was wrong I got angry and reacted badly. This in turn caused him to have a defensive response to me and as soon as I recognised this it was like something switched in my brain. I realised acting like that wasn't going to solve any problems. I immediately apologised for how I was acting and explained to him what it was that was bothering me. As soon as I did that, I seen his guard drop immediately, and he went from defence mode to what can I do to make sure I never make her feel this way again. We also talked afterwards about how we both reacted to eachother affected the way issues get solved in our relationship. Of course we still aren't perfect, but I think having that realisation so early on has helped us so much. And I continue to learn more through these videos so thankyou 💜

[kirstenvzumba]

Shiftet here!! Whoop-whoop!! Anyone who is considering joining but are hesitant--just DO it!! Julia and the SS have improved the quality of my life immensely!! 😁👍

[DKK]

As a male that did not have good models for healthy relationships or even healthy communications, i appreciate your message and your delievery. A healthy relationship requires skills. If these skills are not utiltized then they forgotten, often falling back into old unhealthy habits that are self serving. Thank you for creating content to help remind us to always be better.

[natalief]

Thank you for these tips! As a fellow therapist I really admire your work, and find it helpful to share with clients. I also use them myself. Been working on “not needing to be right” for a while, and it’s paid off! Now I’m tackling communicating my needs. Signed up for your Speak and Feel Heard class to do so :) Thank you for such thoughtful content.

[linettelow]

Thanks for sharing this, Julia. It helps me better support friends going through challenges. Offering support rather than advice/solutions is a great tip. I’ll try that, along with listening and asking what they need.

[mikejarrells]

Thanks & good job. This is tricky. I guess there is a grey area between a toxic relationship (flight) and a healthy one (fight for it). I'm working on emotional independence. I will walk if it gets toxic. I won't settle.

[paranoid]

The timing of this video in my life is so on point… honestly Julia thank you so very much for this topic and guidance and guiding principles as I head into a tough situation with someone in my life. Watched this 3 times over now and still find something new to take away from this.

[barbararowan]

Back again. Love your videos. We all need people in our lives.

[daemon]

Great stuff as always, Julia (really enjoyed the book by the way). Thanks and keep up the excellent work!

[--jenC--]

Thank you for teaching this. I have not had good healthy relationships modeled to me while growing up and I have horrible relationships with my siblings and I have no close relationships. The relationship with my husband is also weird. I hardly talk to people anymore including my husband because I have trust issues. So this helps. Thanks.

[goldpryce]

This my 4th video I watched. It has helped me tremendously, I feel good. Also started watching standup comedy, I love it and I'm more happy. Thank you

[alliyahdenei]

This video was just what I needed today. Thank you for giving your time to make this, it’s amazing advice and insight

[erikah]

Thank you for your knowledge and information!!!!🙏💯

[kristinsonn]

This video was so so helpful to me. It instantly made me look back to several arguments I've had within my relatonships and gave me a whole new insight on how to approach specific situations with my partner, family, and friends. Thank you Julia, I appreciate you sharing these tips to the world <3

[ssphtnetzero]

Oh, I wish I would’ve had someone help me with the “if they love me, they would set me up for success “that would’ve been extremely beneficial for me current and previous relationship .. that is brilliant.. this is probably one of my favorite videos.. especially with all the questions that is a struggle for me to break that stagnant conversation when they cannot regulate their emotions..: that is extremely beneficial. I wrote down many many lines.

[recoverywithlee]

Thank you Julia! You bring swift and honest words to our lives!!!
Honesty with ourselves is key to navigate relationships. Often we do not communicate openly with ourselves, and therefore others.
STEPS:
1. Ask yourself daily, what action will serve me today, that will serve my relationship?
2. Affirm each morning, I deserve to listen to my thoughts
3. Take action with journaling the benefits of becoming honest with yourself.
BEST PRACTICES and WISHES to us all!

[tonylangridge]

Always good solid advice thank you Julia

[juliecroteau]

👋 Hi everyone, I am new here. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am to you for all of this beautiful helpful knowledge!!! Thank you so very much ❤

[robertduran]

Thank GOD for You Julia and for Bucky's (Starbuck's). Julia I luv ya an appreciate you. I laugh and at times my eyes well up an all the time open my mind to thought and different perspectives of mentally observing things. An I luv me some coffee too...my brain gets all "Fired up" my synapses, axons, neurons, dendrites, xcetera...all applaud as I intake your great info and then they applaud yet again. I know I suffer from "Caffeinism". O'well its better to be addicted to you and coffee and the other Awesome video presentations people do. Thanks.