ADHD Relationship Issues and How To Avoid Them | HIDDEN ADHD

My first marriage taught me that relationships are hard, but with Adult ADHD - relationship issues can be even more complicated. I'm going to give you strategies you can use to better understand yourself or your ADHD partner to help you create a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

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#adhd #adultadhd #howtoadhd #adhdhelp #adhdtips #adhdguide
Aron Croft, Aaron Croft, Hidden ADD, Hidden ADHD, Atypical Coach, neurodivergent, neurodiversity

[briannac]

I am very organized and neat and my ADHD partner is not. When it comes time to do chores I ask him to help me. I’ll sweep while he vacuums. I’ll do the laundry while he cleans the bathroom. I’ll cook dinner and he will do the dishes. It gives him a task to hyper focus on and he feels good about himself that he actually followed through and finished something instead of me resenting him for mindlessly scrolling through his phone while I take care of the responsibilities around the house

[PiedPiper]

I thought I wanted to marry my adhd BF, but lately I’m considering getting out. It’s the ignoring that bugs me, I”m always there for him 100% ride or die, but he can’t bother to answer my calls or txts He brags about himself constantly, never asked me about my day, life etc…. It’s all about HIM all the time. I’ve had it, planning my escape from this stupid relationship….. thanks everyone for helping me make a decision on this.

[WINST]

For the non-adhd partner, the reasons or excuses end up becoming irrelevant. Unless the adhd partner is totally committed to learning, evolving and minimising the impact the illness has on their own lives, the non-adhd partners efforts are completely lost. I'm with an adhd person who was undiagnosed until 31 and actually thinks adhd is her super power... which in 1 or 2 areas it might be... but there's also 100's of ways it's utterly debilitating on her life too including our relationship. Adhd in relationships is a very tough dynamic to overcome and it takes some very deliberate management to be successful.

[GoADHDGo]

Me: “Wow. ADHD divorce rates are that high?”

Also me: Divorced.

[jeahlashelifestyle]

Me having ADHD, i have told my any person i was serious with about my particular behaviors from that list, alot of those i have worked hard to do better, like setting a schedule to get things done but realize i need more time…. Now that im successful, i use a cleaning service and it is a life saver. And with effort, I got my job tasks at work done to 1 hour over. I truly thank God and my boyfriend for his support

[markrios]

Thank you so much for making this video.

I was diagnosed at 37 and started medication but at the time I wasn’t aware how my condition negatively impacted my marriage (wife was constantly angry and disrespectful) and my relationships with others (I should have controlled my tongue more). What I should have done is taken my diagnosis more seriously and started hacking my ADHD.

Today is a mixed bag. I’m divorced, financially stressed and broke now though I’m a high earner. But at least I can start to take accountability for my neurology and try to build a happier and fulfilling life.

[mirandataylor]

I’m tired of nagging and tired of nothing getting done. My ADHD husband is in denial of his behavior and refuses help. It doesn’t matter how long I cover for his slack, the problem to him is always me. He is also very narcissistic and believes he should only be able to focus on the things that interest him because he is a Man. He uses the Bible and sexism to defend his adhd behavior so that he’s able to say he only needs to make money and nothing else. Once he makes money “all his problems will go away.” I know otherwise and can’t deal with the rude, religious, sexist and unstable behavior any longer. The non-adhd partner can be as supportive as possible but it takes the adhd partner acknowledging their own adhd instead of blaming everything else.

[williamhbynumiii]

Thank you so much for this video! My wife has just been diagnosed with ADHD, along with a few comorbidities. Nearly all that you have said resonates with me. I am doing all I know to educate myself on this disorder, and a lot of what I have found seems to offer good news, but when I share with my wife she really doesn't seem to care. 
I have epilepsy and have worked in health care all my life; to a degree I get it. But I also know I can not fully understand, and asking her for understanding is often a dead end. It's like she doesn't want to understand or have the tools to help. 
I try to be as understanding as possible, but I feel like I just get left in the dark, while she is taken over by this disorder. The eggshells I walk on as a straight forward communicator, is often torture for me. I used to be the one to clean and cook all of the time; picking up behind bot her and her mother who also has bipolar 1, which another challenge all together. 
I'm a MA student for mental health and counseling, and am doing my best not to try out everything on my wife that I learn. Rather, I tell her what I'm learning and ask her what she thinks, as well as invite her to tell me if she ever feels like I am psycho-analyzing her; that's the last thing I want to do. 
We began couples therapy to work through the ADHD, but she soon just pulled away without even working through the skills we were given in the 2-3 sessions. 
I honestly feel helpless, like a bystander in my own home. I hardly ever clean anymore; I used to cook everyday, but had gotten so tired of cleaning up behind... kids. It's just me with two birds, a shedding dog in the house, and my wife and her mother (who I'm sure is ADHD as well). It's a type of chaos I grew up in and don't want to live my adult life in.

[topshelfmike]

Man… thank you for this. I broke up with my partner with ADHD a few months ago and this helps with my guilt of letter her go. You don’t even know. I really think there needs to be spaces for the ADHD partners. We give so much to be left with almost nothing afterwards.

[adhdright]

Thanks for this video! The blame game is so horrible. Eventually, I took responsibility for my behaviour and my part in our marriage failures. I can’t blame my wife, nor my ADHD. It’s such a tough process, but taking the power back is the only thing we can do. Much love to you all who are struggling in your relationships. I hope it gets better for you. X 💕💕

[renee]

I appreciate your honesty. I find even friendships difficult to maintain. I'm glad that you learned how to manage your ADHD and your current marriage is better. It encourages me that I can improve my relationship with myself and others also.

[valorarise]

Dude... youre vulnerable and humble. Well done

[Matthew-]

My wife has ADHD, and it’s been very frustrating to deal with. I’m starting a deep dive on adhd & relationships, so thank you for this video, you described our relationship very accurately.

[TheMoonkelly]

I would love to see a video on how you and your wife handle things!

[freeexpress]

This is shockingly accurate. My last partner had ADHD and unfortunately he had not fully accepted his diagnosis even with our going to couples therapy. The more I wanted to learn about ADHD and understand him, the more he felt I was calling him, "sick" as he would express. Pointing out videos like this that many people would find helpful? No way, that would only make him feel worse. I found myself constantly telling him he was good enough, but in the end I could not make him feel that I felt he was good enough.

[webdevjazz]

i started going down the 7 issues path and it got unbearable once we had kids. Pretty much got overwhelmed being the prefrontal cortex for both my child AND my husband. But luckily because of my education background, i eventually recognized the ADD symptoms and got him to start treatment and started arranging the house to be more ADD friendly. also put him in charge of the "obvious" chores. stuff that is kinda in your face when it needs to be done like dishes and trash because i know something that's less obvious like laundry will fall off his radar within a few days.

[TomGiusti]

Just on meds one week changer....the fog, racing thoughts have ceased and my focus is off the charts

[lonestar]

Not married but I’ve been with my lady for about 7 years now and everything you said is so true

[Кира-вй]

Went through this and still live with my now ex-ADHD fiancé. I was so confused, exhausted and burnt out throughout the relationship. I grew resentful because I did 90% of everything in our lives while he played video games, karaoke, and hung out with friends excessively. I grew hurt overtime and nothing you said or do will work. We broke up and the day after he was already dating people. It hurts extremely and he refuses treatment because he likes that part of himself. I’m burnt out and now left with nothing.

[cellostrings]

ADHD is a curse. There are very few good attributes about ADHD. I wish I did not have it. I have known I was ADHD since the age of five. And I continue to do everything humanly possible to treat my ADHD - meds, therapy, knowledge, life coach, prayer, etc. It all helps. But inevitably, I have breakthrough ADHD lapses pretty much on a daily basis. Having a compassionate and understanding parter is a must, if you want to have a lasting divorce-free relationship. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.