ADHD ❤️ Relationship Skills & Problems 💔

Successfully dating and maintaining healthy relationships can be a challenge for people with ADHD, maybe because they are too irresponsible, don't listen properly and so on. This video aims to guide you on how to best overcome ADHD induced problems in your dating experiences, relationships or marriage. The key is focusing on being attentive, seeking help and being conscientious on a daily basis, and finding ways to get better at being a team mate.

#AdhdDating #AdhdRelationships

[saintultra]

I was hyper focused on my relationship. I read articles to help my partner deal with her mental health issues, I prioritized her over myself, etc. by the end of it, I was worn down into raw nerve and just hurt. I let myself be mistreated and used because of how fearful I was of rejection. Now that she’s dumped me, I’m left to pick up the pieces. Much love to everyone struggling with adhd. You are not alone.

[venangie]

My boyfriend and I are about to celebrate that we've been together for two years...I told him from the beginning that I have ADHD. Not only did he understand and accepted it, he even made his final proyect in university about it. He understands why I do some things I do, and he loves me for me. I've never felt so accepted and loved. I just hope everything stays this well :)

I really hope everyone is happy. Don't lose hope in yourself, you deserve love.

[The_Kirk_Lazarus]

I married the most organized woman on the planet. 8+ years together thus far. It's been an interesting ride.

[xXLadySunXx]

the day I told my boyfriend I've been diagnosed, the only thing he said was: "so what? I have ADHD, too" and I've loved him more everyday since. He's the only one who takes me as I am and actually understands my struggles. Also I think there is a special mental connection when you both function similarly. We struggle sometimes with the emotions of the other but there's never any judgement, because you just get it.

[laurdowns]

"Your likely to be a bad listener" he said as I was already reading the comments and realized I forgot to listen to the video 😂

[stephenhathaway]

I find the complete oposite. Im too focused on relationships at the detriment of everything else

[MS-zpjh]

I couldnt even watch this without my mind wandering off xD

[daniellane]

I never took my ADHD seriously before because nobody else ever did, so I assumed that most of these problems that I have were just unrelated deeprooted issues in my psyche. Now that I'm watching your channel and How To ADHD, and I see that all of these seemingly endless problems that I've struggled to pin down and name are a part of my ADHD and it makes so much more sense. I wish that I had information like this available to me when I was a kid.

[Yolduranduran]

I married a great guy with dyslexia and probably some other issue I can't figure out. I likely have ADD But anyhow we make a good team. Not perfect as we both are disorganized, messy but we manage to help each other through it. He is the one person I feel like I can be myself with and no judgement.

[megancondo]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years and he has adhd. It’s a lot to handle and I’m constantly reading and watching videos on how to accept it and understand it better. When you love someone so much, you try so hard to be strong and understanding of their needs. The impulsiveness and the blurting out mean things I can’t seem to take well because I’m a sensitive person. I really hope I’ll learn to accept the fact that he can’t help his verbal diarrhoea.

[DavidWebsterAD]

2 marriages 2 divorces no fights. I was not made to be married. The relationships just faded away.

[-whiskey-]

I knew my wife had it since before we were even together, but I never understood just how bad it effects every aspect of someone’s life. For years we’ve had issues because I thought she didn’t care, was just lazy, was immature, or didn’t listen, and like she was selfish. She just recently opened up to me more about. I thought she really wasn’t into this relationship anymore. I’ve just recently started doing lots of research into it, and my goodness, it like listening to everything we’ve been living. In retrospect, I feel terrible for a lot of the things I’ve said over the years and how it must have made her feel. If I wasn’t so ignorant and had known everything I know now, I would have been so much more understanding. I wish I could go back and do things differently from the start. I apologized to her and owned up to how wrong I was and admitted I had slowly become toxic without realizing it. I’ve been doing things so much more differently with all the patience in the world. She’s also been finally opening up to me more than she ever has. She thought I’d judge her and leave her if I knew the full extent of it and just avoided the issue for years. She ended up sending me some videos and articles on the subject because she didn’t know how to say it herself first, and said it would mean a lot to her if I could watch and read them. I have a very different perspective now and a new appreciation for our relationship. I feel like I know her better than ever. Now when things happen, it just clicks in my brain. “Oh, she must be feeling overwhelmed, let me help out/finish the task. Forgot this again, no biggie.” Now that I get it, things just dont bother me anymore. It is what it is, she’s been working on doing more to improve and has been doing great. We’re still making some adjustments here and there, but i have high hopes. Man, I know I’m writing a novel right now, but it’s like a once you see it you cant unsee it thing if that makes sense. Maybe an “AHA moment” is a better way to describe it? Now when things happens it just like “ah, okay, this means my partner wants this, feels this certain way, actually means this, that’s why this didn’t happen, this is why she didn’t hear what I said” but I can see the signs now. Okay she’s spacing out, i’ll wait for her to come back to this universe before I finish and sit waiting and smiling lol She’s probably gonna forget, better leave her note for the morning. Let me text her so she doesn’t forget that thing she wants on the way home. I dont and cant see any of the bad things I thought in the past anymore. Idk, I just understand her on such a deep level now. I love the woman, she is who she is, and we’ve both been making the necessary adjustments needed, especially in the area of open and honest communication. We’re better than ever. If your partner struggles with ADHD and you truly love them. Please, go educate yourself and do the necessary research. It’ll change you view both yourself and the person you’re with. I became so mean out of pure ignorance and lack of understanding. I regret a lot and Idk how she stuck through it all for so long. She must really love me. For a long time I stayed because I love her for who she is, but I always thought she just had the worst bad habits and got more impatient and irritable over time and just gradually more inflammatory and any little thing would set me of calling her a liar, selfish, lazy, saying no one forgets like that all the time, why dont you ever listen when I’m talking to you…all this shit. And the entire time non of the things I thought were true in any way. She literally was trying. We were honestly living in two separate worlds together. I’m glad she finally opened up (7 years later lol) and started me down the path to truly understanding the struggles people with ADHD have. Hearing other people talk about it and hearing the stories of other relationships where one person has it and the other didn’t and mirrored our marriage so much. It’s made me to do a little soul searching and is helping me to become a better person. The things that used to trigger a negative response from me now make me think “huh, wonder how she’s doing today. Whats got her feeling overwhelmed? And when it comes to doing things around the house, I just accept that some tasks are just too much for her. She still tries because she wants to help, making some improvements, bless her soul, but she knows if she cant do it that day, I’ll finish when I get home from work. Or in our bedroom, she’ll the little things like the TV stand, head board, she’ll vacuum. Put a bag of laundry or two in front of her to fold and hang up and she just shuts down. The can get through it if we do it together, but if she’s not home, it’s my task and I accept it. I love her, We plan to be together for the rest of our lives. I’m willing to put in some extra work and to have patience. And to be honest, I’m still leaning new things here and there. I almost have an obsession now with understanding every little aspect of ADHD. Anything I can do to help her improve and to support her along the way now that I understand. In a way the more I understand her the more I understand myself. If you had said to me before I met her “hey this is the kind of stuff you’ll be willing to put up with for someone” i’d have laughed at you and said it sounds like waste of time. Right now, I’d rather do nothing more. And she has been doing so much and is doing better at recognizing when she’s spacing out, spending to much time with distractions, leaving reminders for herself in place she cant miss them. And I started noticing the small things and acknowledging them. Thank you for cleaning the ceiling fan, and boom! Oh wait! I forgot the other one didn’t I? And we laugh about it. But she appreciates that I notice the small things and acknowledge them because it helps her know that I see she’s making efforts in her own way. It helps her feel more at ease that I just roll with it now, no more anger, arguments, miscommunications, negative emotions or reactions from either of us. The dynamics in the marriage are much different in such a good way. It’s like we’ve finally found that perfect balance between us. We compliment each other where needed. I have my own issues and she knows how to deal with that. We dont even need to talk at times to know exactly what the other is thinking. Once glance and we know lol we understand each others personal languages better. Im glad I educated myself more on this topic, it literally saved our marriage.

[joefilmco]

I have not yet been diagnosed but when I was 17 an ex told me I get bored and move on easily. When I was 25 a different ex told me my mind is always in the clouds. My girlfriend now is so understanding and patient with me, but she knows I'm working on bettering myself. This video has helped solidify some courses of action for me.

[andrewatkin]

Jealousy and letting thoughts run wild are a huge problem. Keep working at it.

[stefficofefe]

Ive been really enjoying your videos. I suspected my mum has ADHD by observation for a few years now. She can't sit still, gets up and leaves the room & does something else (like put on a load of washing) mid way through me talking to her & has restlessness & problems in her relationship. I always thought it was bi polar, because she can fly off the handle at any moment & seems selfish. But I've realised I have some issues with restlessness, being "hot & cold" with my attentiveness & cannot for the life of me be a tidy person. I know I need to try and tackle my tidyness issue, but I'm realising I never really try. It just gets to the point where I do a mad rush tidy at the last minute, much like other things in my life. So thank you for sharing your knowledge.

[PeaceDayCortez]

I walked away from 2y relationship with a man with adhd, his anger outburst destroyed us. I spoke to him over and over again about fighting over small things. I couldn’t take the constant arguing and walking on eggshells. 🤔

[kattwin]

This is a great video. I've been researching ADHD for 4+ years so I can better understand my boyfriend. LOL, how is it I've never come across an ADHD Management video before?? Anyway, your advice is on point...and so true. Especially your last sentence. As long as I see my boyfriend trying his hardest, I will not give up on him.

[Syneh]

There's this low-frequency sound in the video. I matched it to 50 htz.

[lastroana]

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD. I just happened to come across this channel. Everything you're saying is exactly what I'm going through. It's getting worse lately. I'm thinking more and more about going to therapy.

[syenite]

I had to leave my marriage because of his refusal to work on his ADHD. If he was bored, he wanted his dopamine and needed something to keep his brain occupied, so he would find something to fight about. But the second I even showed an ounce of emotion to him coming and criticizing me, he got flare of RSD. Which lead to him yelling. But his ADHD never made him perceive what he was doing as yelling, even though the neighbors were always calling the cops with noise complaints from his yelling when he picked these fights.

I have a trauma disorder from an extremely physically and emotionally abusive and neglectful childhood. When we tried counseling, the therapist said all of this stemmed from his ADHD, and I... Just had to deal with him constantly criticizing me, yelling at me, and I could never ever ever ever EVER be even a *little* upset that he left the milk out overnight and I just had to accept that I would do 90% of the housework. Because that is how you accommodate adhd. He didn't have to do anything to take responsibility for his actions. His adhd was a get out of responsibility free card.

He was SHOCKED when I left. But his RSD yelling had warped into verbal abuse, with him demeaning me during it and calling me names and even slurs during his rsd episodes. Adhd does not excuse calling your partner who belongs to a minority group a slur. His therapist thought I wasn't being "understanding enough" about the seriousness of his ADHD. I didn't think either were being serious enough about my ptsd and how it was being worsened by living w a man who verbally abused me.

Take your adhd symptoms seriously! If he'd taken an ounce of responsibility for his actions, I would have been a little more understanding.