They AREN'T Emotionally Mature enough for a Relationship!

#emotionalintelligence #emotionalmaturity #emotionalintimacy

You can't resolve conflict with an emotional immature person. They will never take accountability, they will always feel attacked, regardless of what words you choose. There's no point in being vulnerable with someone who only hurts you.

Marriage is all about commitment and faithfulness and trust and connection and friendship and intimacy. Are you prioritizing those in your relationship? If not, there's really no point in even getting married. That is how we HAVE a great marriage. That is what LOVE requires of us. They aren't add on's. They are essential to a healthy marriage. You can stay together, but the presence of respect and emotional safety and closeness and playfulness is what makes a relationship thrive. And it's possible for you!

[JennyAmigo]

Or when you call out on the 5x- he will deflect, get mad, start bringing up all the things you do wrong to even the score…. Then promises to get better… work on it…. And they don’t change while You do….

[alaskagirl]

My Husband is the good guy, the funny guy, he wants everyone to like him to the point he won't stick up for me in public, or around friends. He is good with our kids and cooks meals everyday, but also hates that I read, and workout, and have unconventional interests. He doesn't accept who I am evolving into spiritually, and he is nothing but defensive when I express my feelings, and ends up yelling at me and then giving me the silent treatment for weeks. He leaves me alone in my loneliest times. 16 years of this.

[azsuehayes]

You are wise beyond your years Jimmy. The narcissistic person in my life actually is watching you and sees himself for the first time, thank you so much 🙏🏼 ❤️

[benjamin]

I am guilty of this. I just Got out of a relationship where I took everything personally instead of hearing what she was saying. I made it about me. I've learned and I pray to navigate this better moving forward.

[Dragonfly_magictarot]

Fk this is what happened to me ….

I blew up on him about him not being happy about his kitten. I said “why the f didn’t you just give her away when I had found an amazing family for her! You’re constantly complaining!”

He had been complaining for 4 months and blaming me and etc …

Ugh 😑 now i understand why I just blew up that day! While I was cooking for him, after a 12hr day of work and school…

He left through the front door and I never saw him again. I saw a pattern. He complained about his job, his roommate, the cat, not having enough time, his car, etc. it was making me crazy because I had offered solutions to Everything! Everything… and he did not listen to me at all.

[tlingitgirl]

This was me, would let it go and then as soon as I bring it up I got exactly that, "Well, you're not perfect either!" But can never give examples of what I've done to hurt him.

[joshk]

Nailed it. I am not even close to perfect, but it was always so stressful to have the smallest disagreement or even an opposite opinion. It always turned into an argument the went on far too long and would roll on throughout the day and night. She was / is VERY much black and white. If you didn’t agree with her opinion or take on a person, then that meant to her that you were fully against her and her entire family, and are calling her a liar. That was the most common, but it definitely was that way across the board.

[travelwell]

I told my Dad his tone of voice is rude. (Just a fact). He said it’s all in my head.
I explained to him that of course it’s in my head as that’s where my brain is and that exactly where I process all information.

[lindad.]

Wow! Hit the nail on the head with this. These things are EXACTLY what my ex would say. Although we are divorced, I’m still dealing with him WAY too much as I have a hard time setting my boundaries- always want to be “nice”. UGH!! Working on it - one day at a time. I may watch this video every day to help me.

[brookelamb]

This made me cry... i feel so seen. love your videos Jimmy ❤

[santannaguzmansr.]

This one feels like it went both ways for my wife and me. On one end, i always held in my emotions and didn’t say what i felt. My wife let it go for so long that she also kept it in and it finally got to her. She was always saying her feelings most of the time but this last year is when she finally started to give up. She gave up when i finally started to open up, started to get professional help with a therapist and talking with 2 of my closest friends. I also found another form of an outlet by playing guitar again. Every time i see your videos, i get upset with myself.

[mindset_olympics]

Yeah, when I opened up about how I was experiencing them, it was: "I can't believe you thought that" If I even get a whiff of that ...ONE TIME...no ma'am Pam! I'm walking out

[Qiriyie]

This describes both my parents perfectly...

[momofplusotaku]

Please more examples on this. Especially if you have a partner th mood disorders from trauma like me. I’m borderline and bipolar and other side kicks of the stuff that comes with it, and I’ve spent 14 years with my husband and being neglected and abused but having to convince him abuse isn’t just hitting, but the I’m sorry are from an annoyed angry place and everything gets thrown back on me. Took me years to figure out I’m not lazy a prude or looking for problems. I’m actually mentally emotionally and chrinically I’ll with multiple things that I couldn’t educate my husband on while I needed support besides a paycheck and man child making more problems and wanting to get laid at a sex addicts delusion of “normal frequency “ none of my neglect or abuse at his hands is understood and everything I’m plagued with isn’t considered real and when it MIGHT be taken seriously and I get some help while I’m falling apart being there for everyone like I’m a single mom … nah now I can’t complain because golden boy “helped out so much more even though he gets up for work” ….. he fed his kids and somewhat tidied up on days when his wife was debilitated both physically and mentally….. but now it’s gonna be brought up like a currency for “I did x y z and it didn’t matter we still don’t have sex” I’ve been so selfless and never had my own sense of self my entire life, and the work I’ve put into digging myself out of that pit and figuring out what’s wrong with me was near imposition and took years. How the hell do we have so many men who literally think they love their wife and are so great but they can’t see their wife can’t even exit survival mode for the first time ever. Who tears down their love of their life for daring to be hurt from over a decade of abuse … and swears they aren’t as bad as we make it out….. where did people go wrong raising their damn sons to be such incompetent and selfish men to their wives who already over compensate too much for them. I can’t even navigate separation and divorce and run interference to keep my kids from having a shitty coparenting lifestyle and they’re the only reason I’ve tried so hard. Mountains of research screenshot albums and playlists of videos but they fall on annoyed deaf ears…l so I spend 14 years of covert abuse and being the bigger person through it all for my kids, all to suffer more and lose any time at all with my kids and can’t even give them best case scenario either way. I just can’t believe all my pain and hurt and effort earned me and my kids more of that and pulling us apart. I’ve lost either way and I’ll never stop trying to run interference to protect them from ignorance and bad examples 😭

[twillu]

What if you have kids though? I want to leave, but I can't leave my kids.

[jessicaj]

I need to start believing what my husband says. I have been getting help for myself but he refuses to go with me. I feel like an idiot for staying this long when he’s stated he’s not interested in growing

[tutel]

Help.

Teach us on how to become a mature person. I don't want to continue this downwards spiral path. How to care and think for other people

[bird]

Perhaps this is where the saying, " A woman never forgets" comes from. Emotionally immature husbands showing their experiences with their emotionally strained wives. Reverse can happen, or worse, both being emotionally Immature. Quite a setup.

[jd]

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Thank you, Jimmy... 😔

[AverageAufa]

can my husband slowly become emotionally mature? we’re in the process of a divorce that i initiated because no matter what i tried, he couldn’t or wouldn’t meet my basic needs 😢