Brainwashed Mormon Mommies?

I was trained to be a TradWife as my divine role from Mormon God. I was dreaming of marriage and babies when I was still a baby myself.

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A few resources I mention in the video:

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A few videos that may interest you:

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[DarlingDearest]

Currently struggling as a 16-year-old girl in the Mormon religion. I'm still figuring everything out, purity culture and overall misogyny in general has made me feel like in some ways im worthless and gross for getting as*aulted when I was 13. Still deconstructing my own brain lol. Your videos help tremendously. I wish you all the best :)

[CaraFay-bfjk]

Never Mormon, 60 year old female here. I was a stay-at-home for 8 years, not Tradwife but I have a warning for women doing or considering either. I understand that not all men are like my ex and no relationship is truly typical. When you decide to be a none-working woman, you are surrendering all of your potential to leave an unhappy, unfaithful or abusive relationship. Do not do that! I’m not saying that you need a high powered, high income job; but, you need to do something to develop and maintain a source of income - if for no other reason, your husband may die and leave you with no income, no job and not a lot of hope. Don’t do it! Protect yourself and your children!

[madhatty-fqsh]

This is the reason why mlms (which are predatory) run rampant in mormonism. "Make money while being a stay at home mom" "part time work for full time pay" and all that garbage

[nurshark]

I was condemned by other Mormon women who were stay at home moms. I continued with my nursing career. We were converts to the church. (It was always my back up plan.) I worked and he also worked. He never asked me to stop working. I never would have either.
Unfortunately, my husband died at 56! We had two young daughters. Thank goodness I still had my nursing degree to provide for myself and my children. I left the church afterwards. My daughters hated being Mormon even though it was all they knew.
We are ALL EX MORMONS now.
Don’t be naive,

[babs.kristi]

I was one of those Mormon stay at home moms. I put my husband through law school and always wanted to go back to school for myself, but it was never " the time" for me to go back. When I finally did go back, our marriage fell apart. But I had to stay with him to finish my degree before we could divorce. And it's been hard, starting a career in my 40s

[esterekstrom]

In Sweden everyone has lessons in sewing, woodworking, cooking and some home economics in school. I think that those lessons are important because everyone should know how to cook

[Qfren]

When I left mormonism I changed my aesthetic visually as far as possible from their standards. But to this day I am the only one of my friend who knows how to sew, crochet, make preserves, bread or know how to make a full thanksgiving etc... I don’t know how to explain to my friends WHY I know these things as barely an adult. How do I tell a bunch of cool alternative people “yeah it’s my trad wife training”

[warlordofbritannia]

Indoctrinating little girls from the earliest ages to be, essentially, brood mates is such a frightening practice. Not only is it demeaning but also quite creepy.

[mmtonge]

I remember my 4th grade class when we were asked by our teacher what we wanted to be when we grew up. The boys all said they wanted to be policemen, firemen, baseball players, or astronauts. These are the things they thought were exciting and heroic. The girls all said they wanted to be house wives. This is what they thought they were supposed to be. I had a different idea. I really liked seeing the garbage truck come to our neighborhood and watching the men jumping off the truck, dumping garbage cans, working the levers, and jumping back on the truck as it drove away. I said I wanted to be a garbage man. My teacher immediately said, 'No, you don't'. I shrank in my seat as all the kids laughed at me. Follow your dreams ;-)

[ObtuseDookie]

My wife is from mainland China. She recently found some trad-wife TikTok accounts and was fascinated by them. I was raised Mormon so when I saw her watching some of these I told her that they are almost certainly Mormon. We looked it up and I was correct. She kept watching them, just interested in the lifestyle, and told me that the woman almost looked brainwashed, to which I told her that they kind of are. Great to see you make a video on the subject!

[roseunga]

Alyssa you are changing my life. Im 18 and leaving the church and my family because of it. It’s been incredibly painful and hard but your videos have sincerely helped me so much! Keep it up and THANK YOU

[susansmart]

I was a good little Mormon girl in the 60s. My mom, who had been a convert, divorced my dad and had full custody of my brother and me. Her lawyer, who was a bishop, asked her if she wanted visitation codified in the decree. She said no and we went to my dad’s every weekend. This ended for me when she found out that my dad had me do the dishes, including his dirty dishes for the week, while he and my brother went into the other room to play chess. One of the times I remember her being really angry was when my brother said that he shouldn’t have to do anything inside the house as that was “women’s work”.

[chelseyaustin]

I would love to see the men’s version. My ex was Mormon and I would go to temple with him sometimes to be supportive. I never understood why I was supposed to tell him about my meeting but when I asked him what the men were talking about, I wasn’t allowed to know. It immediately sent red flags through me. Like, what are you talking about that is so secretive that you can’t tell your wives? Just felt shady and sexist. I spent 1 hr a week being berated into being a mother and you’re over here….doing……?

Edit: he WASNT learning how to budget a household. How to fix the AC. How to cut grass properly or change the oil. He wasn’t trained how to be faithful. He wasn’t trained to be kind or helpful around the house. He didn’t even buy me flowers when I graduated college. As far as I can tell, they just talk about how to take over the government and cheat on their wives.

[Wren]

Mormon women are supposed to look the same, think the same, act the same. We are supposed to be interchangeable. Meet everyone’s needs while having none of our own. Stay beautiful forever. Never complain or express unhappiness. If you’re unhappy or depressed, you are being selfish so keep in to yourself.

[mr.zafner]

Do you understand that by posting these videos you are creating an invaluable resource for historical and teleological purposes? Presenting a genuine understanding from a practical point of view of how the Mormon church works, what it's for, what it does on a very fundamental level?

In addition to the fact that you're warning people about a dangerous scam, of course. Thank you so much for this channel. This is a great and valuable thing

[johnmulder]

I was a Boy Scout as a youth (albeit a Catholic one) and I have one vivid memory from one national scout convention
At one point I was sitting in an open area, sewing a patch on my uniform.
A boy approached me and asked me what I was doing. I said that I was sewing a patch on and then followed up by asking him if he knew how to sew.
He replied, “No, my future wife will take care of that.”
I made a snarky reply of “not with that attitude” or something.
But after watching this I wonder if that boy was a Mormon. I know they were still active in the BSA back then (this was 2012)

[bekiitrip]

I was raised LDS. Being told my purpose in life was to be a mother but knowing at a young age that wasn't what I wanted... That fucked me up. I felt like I didn't have a purpose and like I was failing at life for a long time.

[Cbbartelt]

I want to add another distinction with stay at home moms versus a tradwife. A tradwife stays home because they believe that women should not be working and only women specifically the mom should be caring for a child.
Stay at home mom could be staying home for so many different reasons. Sometimes it’s because daycare cost is greater than what the mom can make, which is typically as a result of pay inequity for a woman and man with the same education level. Sometimes it’s a choice because they want to be the person with their kid all the time. For me it’s because my kid has multiple disabilities and daycares illegally would not care for her. On top of that she has frequent appointments that are 45-90 min away and I couldn’t get off enough time to take her to appointments. My kids access to care was not the same when I worked (and I worked in management at a caregiving facility where everyone understood the appt frequency but gave no lenience for your home life).
My friends son had cancer for 6yrs (he passed in 2022 at 13) and his dad was lucky enough to have a job where he could work 90% from home, or Ronald McDonald House, or the hospital but most families can’t do that so one parent ends up having to stay home.
These are both examples of how societal ableism can result in a stay at home mom being a necessity as well.

[Scarly]

53:01 your comment about room and board, when i was divorcing my ex, he specifically said (after he cut me off financially), "you have a roof, you have a fridge that i stock with food..." the things he said to me during our divorce showed how he very clearly thought of me as a live-in nanny. And now that we were "done", I need to get a job and leave. He didnt think i should be entitled to half the house, etc, no child support, etc. I'd been a sahm for 10 yrs, moved across the country for him, put him through med school... these men absolutely believe theyre doing us a favor to be a sahm. I will warn any younger girls looking to get married to get a pre-nup that ensures in the case of divorce, if they've been a sahm, to include an agreement that they be gicen support until they are able to train for a career. Alimony is not much of a thing anymore, so women need to have a backup plan.

[hannepicklesimer]

My first shelf item was that I didn't want to be a mom. I have no interest in children and pregnancy scares me. Leaders made me feel like something was wrong with me and that I would have a change of heart when I got married. My husband doesn't want kids either and we've been enjoying our married life saving and pursuing our own goals and interest both as a career and hobby. It feels like the most equal marriage I've seen from most people who do have kids. We always are 50/50 in cleaning, cooking, budgeting, etc. We've been so much happier after leaving and finding our own path. Thank you Alyssa for always doing incredible deep dives on these topics!!! ❤