If you’re conditioned since birth to live a certain way, is it really a “choice?” #feminism #lds

[Teajay]

I think there has to be an element of "informed" consent/choice as well.

[ktleemusic]

Choice is only real if you are free and have the knowledge to make an informed choice.

[katkatmewful]

I always ask myself "if they didn’t make that choice, what would they have to give up?"
It might be a paycheck, their kids, their families and community, their freedom, their safety or even their lives. We often focus on the choice to stay and don't look at what's motivating that choice.

[mwukfux]

I was raised an ultra orthodox jew and my friends used to attack me and call me immature for not wanting marriage and kids. then they'd turn around and say "no one's forcing you" and "i chose this." like, no you didn't. when you're told your entire life what's the "right" path and what's heavily expected of you, i don't really trust that it's your choice. especially when that choice is exactly what you've been conditioned to want. the second you get exposed to other ways of life, and open your mind to "maybe i don't want this, " it all comes crumbling down.

[Izzy-cpyt]

I would also ask "has she been told since birth that all other choices will lead to her eternal doom?"
Because the threats made in the church are entirely formulated to suck you in and keep you trapped out of fear. That's not informed consent, it's coersion through lies. It's only a choice if you're given the truth of all options.

[alexreid]

There is a TON of evidence showing that when you increase women’s access to education, their own income, and the option of birth control, birth rates decrease dramatically. This has been demonstrated around the world. Communities with more rights for women typically see women getting married later, having kids later, and having fewer kids overall. Many women still choose to get married and have kids, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that women with more options often make different choices…

[violiendamast]

With strict religion, if you step out, others will try to make you re-conform. The stricter the religion, the stronger this effect is. Helped by shame and the threat of disconnection. It really really doesn’t mean those people want to live like that 😢

[LinRuiEn]

You can only make a choice if you are informed and have the resources (safety, freedom from fear, etc)

[randomperson]

This is so true! This definitely comes to mind for me about Islam which people avoid criticising out of fear of racism (which is valid) but we shouldn’t ignore oppression just because it makes us uncomfortable to call it out (not just in Islam but in many other religions and sects like Alyssa showed in her video).
I saw a Muslim family with four children all young, the two girls were already wearing the hijab, they were under 10 years old. Can you imagine being told that young that your hair and body is tempting and wrong whilst your brothers’ bodies are fine. They wouldn’t have even gone through puberty yet! Can’t imagine the damage that will do to them mentally in the long run. I grew up slightly Catholic but still have so much hang up and shame around s*x and showing my body. Imagine if my parents told me to cover my body from head to toe as a child!

[odinaconley]

Most women who leave the church that I've heard of kind of get shunned by their friends from the church and sometimes they're family. I am lucky in that not only did I leave the church but I choose to be an eclectic pagan and my mother still loves me still interacts with me and did not in any way cut me off. She does wish that sometime in the future I will choose to return to the church but she also realizes that the possibility of that happening gets less and less as I grow older. Please understand I told her when I turned 18 that I was no longer a member of the church and that I would leave my name on the records out of respect for her and my deceased father but that I did not believe the church and that I found a different path. I am now 50 years old and my mother never turned against me for my decision. Please understand I recognize how lucky I am to have a mother like this

[HaldaneSmith]

This is brilliantly insightful. Education and income change everything.

[awkwardukulele]

THIS!! We give too much credit to religions sometimes when we say “live and let live” or “it’s their choice, ” because very often it is NOT their choice, but the choice of their parents, teachers, leaders, and everyone else who has power over them. It becomes nearly impossible for folks in hyper-religious communities to even understand the choices they can make, let alone actually feeling free to choose differently than their community!

Like everyone has said, _informed, enthusiastic_ consent is the norm. If you are raised to feel pressured to do a religious practice, it wasn’t free; if you were raised to not know there are other options, it wasn’t free. If a religion can’t respect that distinction, it doesn’t deserve respect in turn.

[tedb]

I really like your addition to this conversation on feminism

[TankGump]

By the time we realize there was a choice it’s already been made for us😢❤

[joannathegreat]

So true! I'm being raised Mennonite which is like less strict Amish and being a wife and mother seems like the only option I've spoken about how I don't want kids to my friends from church and it's looked down upon one of my friends says she wants to get married right out of highschool and start having kids, they want nothing more in life than to serve a man. Its honestly so sad

[Mica-]

Well said. I wanna give a hug to every women who has forced into a life that never had a voice in

[lndcruz]

Honestly a very eloquent way to explain the complexities with choice

[EleanorandLorelei]

This is one of my favorite video bits you've made... the information is very insightful and not often discussed. Thanks and keep up your great work!

[biscutboi]

Am an exmormon I had no concept of being gay as an option, that people didn't believe the same stuff I did. I couldn't grasp that until I was in fourth grade, even then I was so bewildered I just didn't believe it for a long time after. I was kept from anyone that said anything other than mormon teachings.

[RoxyLegs]

I was raised with an expectation placed upon me from the moment I existed (and preexisted if a family member reads this). Even though I am excommunicated, my family still hold these expectations and then wonder why I don't try for a relationship with them. They are blinded to seeing me any other way. It hurts that they can't like me as I am.