Jesus wants me in the kitchen!! #exmormon #lds #tradwife

[meelomoo]

I completed personal progress 3 times in 4 years because I felt like it was the only thing that made me special and distinguished me as a woman. I got to watch my brother pass the sacrament, be given the priesthood power, be able to heal people, be able to work “magic”, be praised and uplifted as a man. The only time I got encouragement and admiration was going above and beyond but I would never compare to my brothers

[chloesibilla]

I had a "friend" in 4th grade who I found out was only pretending to be my friend for WEEKS because I was her assigned homework from her Sunday school. I was a pity project .

[troisquarts]

My mother insists that she taught both sons and daughters how to cook and clean. That's true, I'm a pretty good cook. But guess who got all the guilt about housework? Not me.

[jeanjaz]

I raised two kids, a boy and a girl. They both were taught life skills like cooking, laundry, cleaning, basic house and car maintenance, budgeting, meal planning & grocery shopping, basic mending, basic first aid, etc..
It appalls me how many people don't know these basics.

Something like this Personal Progress would be awesome if it didn't have the "good wife" agenda, expanded to both sexes, and included skill sets that have traditionally been left up to "the man of the house."

Not everyone wants to get married and start a family, and some don't want to do it right away. Men AND women need all the skill sets - not just those acceptable for their gender.

[MossyMozart]

Back when I was a Mormon child, there was no "personal progress", by that name, anyway. After we transitioned from Primary, my brother went into the LDS Boy Scouts, to learn camping, starting campfires without matches, etc, with religion added. I was SO jealous!

I had to enter the girl's organization. (I think it had "bees" in the name.) We had bandolas like Girl Scouts did and earned badges, but they were all in the "good wife" category. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, child care, boring stuff like that. They had absolutely no room for a girl who wanted to be an astronomer or a physicist or an artist. That was when my little feminist side was awakened that eventually led me to bug out at 19.

[TinyScorpion]

And the boys are very much trained to NEED these women to function. My husband left the church at 17, but he literally has no idea how to cook, load a dishwasher or put dishes away, grocery shop, or do anything like that. It was completely acceptable in his family for the boys to pay their sisters to do their chores. We've made progress, he knows how to operate the washer and dryer now, but I still do 90% of the housework out of necessity thanks to his LDS upbringing. Thankfully, I enjoy cooking, and our house is small enough that cleaning is pretty quick.

[tiffanyvandeman]

I just threw my necklace away. It was so healing to throw that garbage away. Growing up LDS, I was not prepared to have a real marriage with someone outside of the religion. Since I had a child out of wedlock, many of the LDS men treated me like I was not marriage worthy. It trapped me in a no win situation.

[jeffnorris]

Your personal growth is both inspiring and comforting in this mad, deluded society.

[Howlersmum]

My parents both served missions. When I was growing up, my mom tried to teach me how to sew, cook, etc, but it was ultimately my choice. I liked to go fishing and hunting with my dad. Being adopted, they chose to give me the experiences of getting to know my ancestral background and tried to teach me more about them. I’m a quarter Shoshone and my parents took me to a traditional medicine man when western medicines weren’t working. After learning about the different parts of my heritage, I wanted to become a dr. They both fully supported my decision. Marriage was never pushed on me. We didn’t know if I’d grow up even to graduate or have kids because of health struggles. I had 6 amazing kids of my own, and a bonus kiddo from my husband. I guess I was really lucky to have parents not push their ideals on me.

[vivianeborkholder]

It's sad that they took something good, being a wife/ mother/ homemaker, and turned it into a gross control thing. I'm a mom of 5, homemaker, and happy wife, but it wasn't something that was shoved down my throat as a way to earn godliness. It's just what i want to be.

[nataliewatt]

I felt so bad at 17/18 that I never finished personal progress and didn’t get the necklace that all my friends had.

[nikkiewhite]

When I was in grade 12 I had a friend that was inducted into the Mormon Church. She was on income support she literally got enough for school supplies, rent and enough food so as to not starve. She had to pay tithe...
She was scared and alone in the world. They took advantage of that to isolate her further. She disappeared, I have no idea where she went.
I never trusted Mormons after that unless they were disillusioned and starting to break away.

[katyaannagoodday]

Yikes. The definition of grooming! I'm so sorry you went through that and I'm so glad you're free now

[spaceynoby]

In one of your videos, you spoke of how you don't believe in an afterlife, so it makes you more present in your life right now. I just wanted to say that reminds me so much of Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan's wife. When he died, she was asked, "do you think you will see each other again?" She said no, and that the fact they didn't think they would ever see each other after death made them love each other harder and better! I thought you might like to hear that :) you are really inspiring, and also so well spoken. Keep up the amazing work, Alyssa. You deserve a happy, happy life.

[HanTran-yisb]

As a woman, I am perfectly fine with opportunities for people (not just women) to learn important life skills like cooking, sewing, gardening, organizing, etc. What I am not fine with is somehow all these responsibilities are placed on women's shoulders and cause women career opportunities.

[earthyvibrations.]

My family left the church when I was 12 and I remember being devastated because I was about to get my manual. But thinking on it now I’m really ok with it

[gregoryschmidt]

My wife is ex-LDS. She said when she was 16 years old she had convinced herself that she wanted to have 12 kids. (We have none, and are quite happy, tyvm.)

[kristenphillipsgray]

I'm no longer Mormon but I actually appreciated doing personal progress. It helped me learn to set and achieve goals (whatever they may be). I tended to shy away from the goals with more of a spiritual slant but opted for ones where I would learn new skills or be on time for a month etc.

All the boys were is scouts so I equated the medallion with earning an eagle scout award.

[JJoy-bkyr]

I went to secular 2-year junior high school in a heavily Catholic town long sgo. Girls had 2 semesters of cooking and two semesters of sewing, while boys had woodworking and home repairs. Every school year, the genders switched classes for a week. The boys sewed a necktie one year and learned a recipe the next year, and the girls made a wooden desk organizer and wired an extension cord. Division of labor along gender lines in a marriage was never mentioned, but it seemed to be implied. I liked all the classes, and if it had been up to me, I would have taken one semester of each, sewing, cooking, woodworking, and repairs. Can't have too many skills regardless of gender, imho.

[Deliah_]

I always said that the medallion was a way to tell the boys we were ready. I never completed mine. I wasn't intrested