Questions to ask before entering a relationship

In this video, I discuss questions to ask yourself before getting into a relationship.

Time Stamps:
0:00 Intro
1:22 What do I like about them?
3:44 Do they reciprocate?
5:52 Are they respectful?
7:25 Are there any early signs of abuse?
10:28 Do I have room for a relationship in my life right now?
12:06 Are we compatible?
14:52 Do our boundaries match up?
15:38 What does my intuition say?

The thoughts expressed in this video are my own personal opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any institution I am involved with.

The contents of this video are for educational and entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to substitute seeking professional therapy.

Please like and subscribe for more real-world applications to psychology! :)

[reallifepsych]

YouTube algorithms are getting a little too specific haha

[E_Munny]

She said “unless you wanna experience the heartache for growth”

I feel EXPOSED

[nicoleonfeels]

It’s easy to get up in the feelings rather than look at reason. For me, I only start a relationship with someone if they actively add to my life and make it better. Not just to have company or someone to snuggle with. Though those are nice. I look at it as picking a team member in helping to build the best life possible.

[deamaharani]

“if they didnt want a relationship with you, what’s the point of watching this video?”

damn girl. but you know, just in case.

[calledtoanswer]

"See someone's potential instead of their true character"

This sums up the best and worst aspect of my personality and is one of my biggest pitfalls in dating.

I work with at-risk youth, so seeing potential is fantastic for getting the best out of people, but hot damn can it be problematic in relationships.

[SKBottom]

"Timing is important in relationships."

I used to think this was ridiculous. People were either right for each other or wrong for each other and timing did not matter.

I was wrong.

Timing is everything.

[timeabg]

Ana: Cause if they don't, then what's the point of even watching this video?

Me, not dating at all: I just watch all of your videos

[sarahstenske]

I wish it was more normalized for people to just ask all the uncomfortable and hard questions right out of the gate on the first couple dates so that nobody wastes each other's time. I think most people already know if they have strong feelings once they start talking to someone, the problem is people delve too deep into a physical and emotional attachment before airing out their baggage and deal breakers and it turns what could have been one bad date into a painful break up and inevitable heartbreak a few months down the line.

[JasmineBrie]

Queen of labeling different sections of the video!!!!

[madelinevlogs]

I think other red flags are that they don’t care about your interests/hobbies or puts them down and that they don’t listen to you. Also what do you think of long distance relationships?

[Greenrivers]

It sucks when you've dated the wrong person for too long. I'm honestly scared of relationships now and want to be single for a while. When I look for a relationship it's hard because obviously most people I won't have a connection with. But when you do find that person you have to wonder if the connection is the same for them and worry if they'll let you down or take advantage of you in some way. anyways thanks for the video <3

[plentyplanty]

Questions:
1. What do I like about them?
2. Do they reciprocate?
3. Are they respectful? (with you and others)
4. Are there any signs of abuse?
5. Do I have a room for a relationship?
6. Are we compatible?
7. Do our boundaries match up?
8. What does my intuition say?

[freyjaalmighty]

May I add:
- Ask them about their family. Are they close to them or not, how many times do they see them in a year, do they have brothers or sisters and are they older or younger, ask yourself do you value family or not, if you're looking for something serious and things get serious this becomes important. Usually people who value family don't mesh well with ppl who don't. If you want to marry this person, ask yourself "if I marry this person is this the type of person who will treat me as a new family unit or will they expect me to "marry" him AND his family?" If you're someone who just wants to be with that person and not mix your rs with the whole family I advise to find someone who doesn't value family, and if you do value family find someone who also does. This is something I find to be a huge issue later on. I know myself and I would never stay with someone who lets their family mix with our relationship and lets them control where we will live, will we have children, will we let in-laws stay with us on a vacation "because his parents gave him the house" and other bs

[marijapetrovic]

I think it's beautiful how she goes right into topic and depth. As well as selflessly sharing her knowledge. ✨

[Ashluv]

Another red flag to watch out for is, if they tell you who they are BELIEVE THEM!!! So many times when I have met someone new, they would make jokes about the type of person they were. For example, I would say something like, “you’re so sweet” and they would respond, “nah I’m pretty manipulative, ” RED FLAG! This also goes with Ana’s point on trusting your instincts. If you feel like a person is or isn’t who they say they are, trust that instinct! I know it would’ve saved me a lot of heartache if I did.

[Vesemir]

Ouch, too bad I didn't watch this video a loong time ago. My ex ticked off almost all the "early signs of abuse". If only it was in the early stages lol

[Good_Eve]

I think one thing to note about the "Do I have time for a relationship" will depend on what you both are willing to make of the relationship at the time. Like maybe you guys have a long distance relationship so texting and calling every once in a while is perfectly fine for you both at least for a while, or maybe you both know you're busy so you guys only schedule to see each other when you both have time and you're both okay with that. Or maybe you both do want to see each other at least twice a week and therefore need to make the time for it. It's about making time for what works for your relationship at the time.

[heartstudio]

I came here for a love relationship and left realizing my mom is toxic. I don’t know what to do but at least I know now😅

[bc.relationships]

As always, you are so spot on, Ana!! I love how you start off with the question "what do I like about them?". I would even add that if your answer is all about how they make you FEEL, instead of the qualities they have, then that might also be a sign that you mostly just like the attention and affection. For example "I like how they make me feel special"-- obviously this is important, but it's focused on your feelings, not who the other person actually is. Something like "I like how thoughtful they are towards their friends and family" is an indication of their character!! It's easy to give someone attention, it's hard to fake being thoughtful and caring.

[Bri-ssgu]

Ana, during the last portion of this video, it’s as if you were speaking exactly to a situation that I’m currently struggling with. I find it so difficult to trust my instincts due to trauma, but I want to cultivate healthy boundaries, so I’ve been trying to figure out how to distinguish between trauma and genuine instincts. I feel reassured that I’ve made the right decision by exiting a potentially toxic situation early. This is exactly what I needed. Thank you so much! I adore your channel.